#friendshipbreakup
it’s nice
seeing u
hearing ur voice
listening to u talk to me again
and no one’s bitter anymore
js tired
exhausted
and a lil weary
it’s nice
watching u be in my life again
replaying old memories together
but i won’t let u in too much
no not like we used to be
i’m never letting someone know me like that again
no never
2d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 10:08 PM UTC
you chew on your pen when you think or you are anxious
you sing when you are happy
you talk in a high pitch when something is cute
you use an accent to be funny
you cower over when you laugh extra hard
you like your coffee black, or maybe just with sugar
you struggle with math, but you're great with english
you always forget to bring your water to school
you like the mini cheez-its better then the normal sized ones
you always bring an orange to school for a snack
I know so much about you, and you about me
5 years of friendship, we became like sisters
until that one fateful day
you decided you were done with me
and now, I just stare at you, seeing
all of your habits, likes, and dislikes in motion
because I know it all
but that knowledge is officially a waste now
because you lost me
Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 12:53 PM UTC
I sit there, staring at you
seeing your face not ever change
even though you lost me
I was supposed to be your best friend
your person, your favorite
but maybe I never was
maybe I was just the backup the whole time
maybe you never liked me, never wanted me around
and that's what hurts more then anything
not the fact that you left,
but that you may have never liked me in the first place
Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 12:44 PM UTC
They said friends dont last
Because the word ends with end
And i thought-
Language can’t predict love
I thought we were bigger than syllables
Until you left
Without a sound loud enough
For me to brace myself
One day we were permanent
The next
You lived only in memory
I turn myself over in my hands
Looking for the crack
The moment i becme too much
Or not enough.
I know i wasnt perfect
But i was there
Even tho i was unraveling
I thought that counted.
I cried the other day
Not for drama
Not for pity
Just grief spilling quietly
From a heart that keeps choosing people
I keep finding almost-friends
Who need me
Until they don’t.
I pour
And pour
Until i am empty
And somehow
Hats when everyone leaves
I show up when i can
I disappear when im breaking
Isn’t that what trust is for
I make plans
That dissolve
Messages that never come back
While your life keeps moving
Without me in it
I dont need to be chosen first
I just need to be told the truth
It hurt
So yes
I cry
Because caring hurts more
When you pretend it doesn’t.
Sometimes i wonder
If something is wrong wiht me
If wanting something wholesome
Is asking for too much
If the only real friendship
I was meant to have
Already ended
Maybe being alone
Is safer
Than loving people
Who dont stay
Still-
I hope
Because somewhere
There has to be someone
Who doesn’t leave
When im human
A friendship
That doesn’t end
Just because the world does….
Feb 22
Feb 22, 2026 at 2:10 PM UTC
theres a lie,
i know there is.
i just can't prove it yet.
i don't know what,
but i know there is one.
you hold it between your teeth.
between the letters that always
come back to haunt me.
you don't care.
i don't think you ever did.
you're not even trying.
yet you come back
and spin it on me.
"you're not trying,
you're not making the effort"
you aren't.
i am.
Feb 17
Feb 17, 2026 at 8:11 AM UTC
I think I will always miss you
The one that's already gone
The one who used to text me good night
Every night
The one who made me feel "whole"
I don't like this new you
The one who's not around
The one who doesn't call
The one who forgets how close we once were
I hate this
I hate you
But I don't
To say I did would be a lie.
I hate how it ended
I hate that I don't know what I did wrong
Everything happens for a reason though
So clearly we weren't meant to be
But while we were I loved it all
I loved the vents, the gossip and giggles
I loved you
I thought what we had was unbreakable
But with time i was proved to be wrong.
I just hope that you think of me now and then
The version of me before it was all gone.
One day when you look back at this point of your life
i hope to get mentioned when you reminiss your teen days
Recalling the memories to your future kids
I wish you knew how much I cared
How much I hurt when you were hurt
How much of my own energy I only focused on you
I care for you still
And I will always love you
Even though I don't want to
And even though i dont like you
It hurts to love you
But it hurts more to not.
I hate the fact that you're not around
Because you're normally the one I would tell all this to
I hate that you left and didn't say why
I hate the fact that you didn't call
And I hate that I can't watch our favourite movie without crying anymore
But mostly I hate the fact that I don't hate you
Not even close
Not even a little bit
Not even at all.
Jan 16
Jan 16, 2026 at 10:23 PM UTC
They say to make a friend out of your enemies,
a phrase I never cared for,
until you entered my life,
sauntering in with a cheshire lilt,
prodding my hand to make a muse out of you.
It’s a waste of time,
a voluntary sacrifice of ego and soul
to stoke the flames beneath feet that walked all over me
and expected gratitude in return.
Sometimes it’s as if you’re still waiting—
in passing when your tepid gaze glosses over me,
and pins needles in my back the moment I turn away.
(I returned your gift with a smile once.)
I was blinded by the subtleties
between admiration and comparison,
fruition and competition,
barely able to keep up with myself amidst it all.
In the castaway of my sinking ship,
you saw a flurry of white the shape of a flag,
and beckoned to the horizon,
while I welcomed the sea.
You tended to only see what you wanted to,
presented in the way you liked to see them—
refined, polished, adept.
Idiosyncrasies strung on the wrong chord
were chided with a sepia-rimmed simper.
I, a marionette in your world-class act,
saw through you an act too late.
Yet you, assiduous as ever,
continued to entice and bewitch,
performing for contenders and for prey,
for whoever will stay and watch.
After all,
what’s a class act without an audience?
Dec 4, 2025
Dec 4, 2025 at 11:25 PM UTC
[ ] I’m tired of being a ghost
[ ] in a story I helped build.
[ ] Tired of calculating the empty space
of your silence
[ ] Having to relearn something i once knew
[ ] Better than i knew myself.
[ ] Having to reconnect a connection i thought was unbreakable.
[ ] You pass me in hallways
[ ] The ones where we once walked side by side
[ ] Laughing with each other knowing we had one another
[ ] But like light you’ve now decided
[ ] not to shine in on me anymore,
[ ] and I pretend I don’t notice
[ ] the way you smile at me as if I was just an acquaintance
[ ] As if you dont have a dedicated blanket at my house.
[ ] You barely glance in my direction anymore
[ ] When you do its pitiful
[ ] It's the look you give to strangers
[ ] The acknowledgement of existence look
[ ] As if we didn't exist together mere months ago.
[ ] I keep telling myself
[ ] He’s going through something
[ ] If you're not yourself, not even with me
there’s a reason,
[ ] There’s some shadow you’re wrestling,
[ ] Some storm you swallowed
[ ] but even storms look at the ocean
[ ] before they tear it apart.
[ ] If I knew what kind of storm you were facing, I would’ve armed myself too,
[ ] not to save me
[ ] but to stand in it with you.
[ ] I didn’t think It could get like this
[ ] That it would ever be this bad.
[ ] I’ve held my breath for you so many times
[ ] that I forget what it feels like to fill my lungs
[ ] with anything that isn’t fear
[ ] I forget what it’s like to not be afraid of losing you.
[ ] The volume in my head is louder than my words could ever get
[ ] You dont even bother to mutter a hello
[ ] But the absence of your voice
[ ] Leaves a lasting coldness
[ ] And is louder than anything you've ever said.
[ ] I have loved you with more love than i had to give,
[ ] I have never left your side, always reminding you im here
[ ] and yet somehow
[ ] that became the very thing
[ ] you chose to step away from.
[ ] Out of all the things to be afraid of
[ ] People fear love
[ ] And you've proven that here
[ ] And that’s what i hate most
[ ] I hate how even if you didn't realise
[ ] You used me
[ ] You knew how much I love you
[ ] And moved into my heart
[ ] Not paying rent
[ ] Not paying your part
[ ] Leaving without a note
[ ] Just drifting away, like the ghost you've left of me
[ ] Knowing I’d still be here
[ ] Waiting your return
[ ] Your own little boomerang
[ ] you could throw away and it would still come back
[ ] Even if you didnt plan on returning yourself.
[ ] But here I am like forever and always
[ ] A messy knot of yearning and resentment
[ ] still standing
[ ] still stupidly waiting
[ ] Believing you'll explain it all
[ ] Believing you'll start to care again
[ ] Believing it was just in my head.
[ ] Even though I know
[ ] the only thing facing me
[ ] is the echo of your footsteps
[ ] walking away
Nov 24, 2025
Nov 24, 2025 at 1:58 AM UTC
I started growing a garden
one of the best I'd ever had.
My very first,
grown wild and natural.
I failed to see the weeds
slowly choking it from behind.
And it suffocated the garden
time after time.
Then suddenly, there was no garden,
just silence and then dust.
No warning,
no fading,
no crumble,
collapse,
or rot.
No sign to brace for mourning,
no moment to adjust...
Nothing left to grieve,
except all that was.
Its blossoms bloomed as friendship,
each petal bright and true.
The roses held our laughter,
lilacs eased our cries,
and daisies offered humor
beneath clear blue skies.
But now it's gone to silence,
and my hands remain bare,
covered in the dust,
grasping for the something
that once had rooted there.
I dig into the ashes,
search the soil,
even the air.
begging,
pleading,
aching for a sign
a sprout, a stem, a rewind in time.
Hoping still,
the dust rewinds
Whispering to it one last time
hoping still something sprouts
even a little
to grow from this ground.
Oct 3, 2025
Oct 3, 2025 at 6:19 PM UTC
The white quarter socks with pink flowers in the bottom corner of my dresser (grey now)
The brown rope hammock at the Botanical Gardens
College dorms
April
Blue light glasses
UPS Trucks (and whatever they’re carrying)
Dark flannels
Pink and navy and gold (and cinderblock walls)
Magic mushrooms
The bridge halfway down at Max Patch (the beginning of the end)
Electric bills (in summer time heat)
Harry Potter
Halloween
Scoreboards (and their keepers)
Psychics in Manhattan
Cheap water bottles
Linguists
Architects
Couch ***
Vans (the sneakers)
Personality tests
Long, natural nails
Duffle bags
Biscuits at sunrise
Living Sadness in a world that doesn’t stop moving,
Just because you’re sad
Forgiveness on the tip of the tongue
The strange intimacy of unspoken truths
Of sacred silence
Of quiet, forbidden longing
The mad unfurling of a blueish love-
A love somewhere between earth and sky
Friend and Foe
Flame and ash and all that burns
Folding a corner
Turning a page
Finishing a book
Keeping it on the shelf
Forever,
Even if just for the memory
These are the things,
The things that make me think of you.
Aug 28, 2025
Aug 28, 2025 at 6:53 PM UTC
When you feel trapped in the past,
remember why you walked away.
They may have blocked you,
hidden you,
erased you—
but wasn’t it you who begged for release?
Yes, it’s sad.
It was a friendship of years.
But when the walls began to crumble,
they chose the one who arrived later—
not you.
Not you, who was there from the start.
Who gave sweat, blood, and tears
to fuel their dreams.
So don’t forget.
It hurts now,
but being alone
is the better choice.
Oct 2, 2025
Oct 2, 2025 at 11:25 AM UTC
I remember...
I remember the fights
The bad times
Me being away
You being away
Me crying my heart out in the shower
You being distant
Me behaving like a total *******
You behaving like a total *******
You being jealous
Me being jealous
Us being mad at each other
Us not talking
You screaming and me crying (again)
But I also remember..
I also remember the laughs
The good times
Me next to you, in your arms
You holding me
You telling me that you love me
Us late night talking on the phone
Us hugging
Us doing everything together
Us cuddling on the couch
Us dancing and stumbling over our feet
You waiting for me because my feet hurt while hiking
You kissing my head
Me telling you that you looked really good in that tshirt
You telling me that I looked beautiful
Me saying that I'd die if I ever lost you
You telling me that I'd never lose you, no matter what
But I did
There is no 'Us' anymore
There is just Me and You
Me crying every night in my bed
Me crying in the shower
Me crying while going through our texts
Me crying while listening to your old voice mails
Me crying when I think about you
Me crying because there was no you anymore one day, there was just me
You ignoring me
You cutting me off and ghosting me
You not talking to me
You laughing at me and rolling your eyes when I said something in class
Us not being friends anymore
Us breaking apart
Feb 21, 2025
Feb 21, 2025 at 6:04 AM UTC
Such was blue sea under black sky
Crescent in today's time
14 to 1 was the black rose I gifted
But that poison was mislead and never intended
The pain struck an arterie but my bullets always come back around
Maybe that's why I suffer for so much longer or at least that's what I'm told
Now I'm starved of oxygen such was my deprivation of friends
I couldn't escape so instead I made an exit through the whole in your heart and took out those by your side
This sadness is Unrequited for I made a villain out of me
It's a shame to say that I did break so now I cry silently because I lack the luxury to be free such like the one you write
The inescapable fait I now understand so well you a writer foreshadowing my failure and ultimate demise
I was a poet who chose battles so my death was no surprise
Oct 28, 2024
Oct 28, 2024 at 5:20 PM UTC
I’m speechless.
You knew me better than anyone,
The damage is done,
A skeleton is all that remains of our broken bond,
It’s been a long time and I struggle to move on,
You knew my heart and who I wanted to be,
Inside jokes that we’d recite on the daily,
Dreaming about our futures and babies,
Sleepovers at my place,
Memories that I’ve scratched out and erased,
We talked about being maid of honors at each other’s weddings,
But that’s not where we were heading,
I come across old pictures sometimes,
Although we’ve drifted apart,
Those are moments frozen in time,
Even when the people in them change inside
Even when the smiles have faded away,
They’ll always stay in place
I wanted to help you,
Everything I did for you was because I wanted to,
I just wanted you to be happy too,
We made sure the bill was paid,
We made sure you got home okay,
Before we drove away
Treated you like family
But maybe that wasn’t enough,
At the end of it all,
Ashes and dust
When you succeeded,
I was on the sidelines cheering for you,
When it was my turn in the driver's seat,
You were the first one to kick your feet,
When I had some of the best nights of my life,
You made me feel like they weren’t worth your time
To express my happiness,
I was on cloud nine,
But other things were on your mind,
Uninvited ignited a spark in you,
Words lashed out online,
Threw a fork in my spine
Confrontation was a root canal,
Tiptoeing around potholes in the ground,
The humiliation started getting too loud,
But there you were turning up the sound,
For my interests I wasn’t allowed to be proud,
I loosened my grip for what was coming around
There we stood,
Facing one another,
Realizing this was the last time we would talk to each other
Nothing more left to be said,
But now I found the words to express how much it hurt.
I was angry for a long time,
Pain and malice in the words I wrote,
In the way that I spoke
Three years time I’ve grown,
Understanding now that we needed to break apart
In order to evolve into our own
I know we both had our faults,
Bottle up my brokenness,
Store it in a vault,
I’m sorry for the ways I hurt you,
It was never my intention to,
I’m sorry if I’m not what you needed at that time,
Maybe it wasn’t my place
To try and change your piece of mind,
I just wanted to show you the light,
But I understand you took control of your own life,
Did what you felt was right,
With that,
You became who you said you’d never be,
And that was hard for me to digest,
I just wanted the best for you,
But I also had to do what was best for me too,
So i let you go-
I hope you’re alright
wherever you are in life,
If you’re stuck in the dark,
I promise you’ll find the light,
Although things are different,
My heart remains the same,
I hope you still write and use your lyrical flame,
If you ever needed me,
I’m always just one call away.
Mar 3, 2021
Mar 3, 2021 at 2:12 PM UTC
My ceiling is getting too familiar
My pillow is getting wet
The tears are shedding
Faster than my thoughts
The hurt inside of me is fresh
The feelings inside of me are running
wild
How can some people be so mean?
How can they have no regret,
After doing such a despicable deed
Sometimes this makes me wonder
If they were real in the first place
“Et tu Brute” was Caesar's last words
When the realization struck him
The betrayal of a best friend
Hurts more than anything
“How?” I try to understand
How can someone who is so close
Stab you in the back
Or worse,
They stab you in the face
In front of your own eyes
This makes me confused
What should i do with all the memories?
All the good times,and fun moments
They were so genuine, so real
So why,
Did I deserve this?
Friends are supposed to be there for you
When you feel down and sad
But if even our best friends can’t do this
Then who can we trust?
I realize now that there are other fish
in the vast sea of friends
I caught bad fish, that’s all
Now I am a more experienced fisherman
I know how to spot a bad friend
Of course i will still cry about my old
friends
The ones who i trusted
But betrayed my trust
The ones who abandoned me
In my worst of times
When I felt insecure and lacked
confidence
When I really could’ve used them most
The pain will always be there
And that’s okay
I will never move past them
But at least I will try
I’ll paste a smile on my hurt face
I will pretend that nothing ever
happened
Now I wipe away my tears
along with all my sorrow
I close my eyes
Along with all the past memories
I will try to forgive and forget
Tomorrow is a new day
The sun will rise once again
Tomorrow will be a perfect day to go
Fishing
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 6:34 PM UTC