Sometimes I just wanna cease existing
To just float away
Free of all pain
Free of insecurities
Free of responsibilities
I won’t need to answer back to anyone
No more deadlines
No more living with my horrible self
No more guilt
I wish I could delete myself off my life
And then re-install the updated version
A happy girl who always smiles
A real smile
A girl who has true friends
A girl who has her life all together
A girl who sleeps at night without crying
Tomorrow I will be that girl
And the thought that I wanna cease existing
Would never cross my mind
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 6:37 PM UTC
Denial is just as bad as drugs
It warps your vision of reality,
It can make life seem sweet,
And change one's personality
Denial creates a mirage
For when your desperate for hope
When you’re falling off a cliff,
It offers you a rope
Denial is like candy
It gives your taste buds paradise
But once you stop,
Your teeth are the sacrifice
Denial can be a famous orator
It’s talent is being persuasive and convincing too
It makes you believe
That “that someone” never hurt you
Although denial is a protection against depression,
there's always doubt in the back of your mind
That maybe life isn't all rainbows and glitter
There isn't always a fantasy you can hide behind
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 6:35 PM UTC
My ceiling is getting too familiar
My pillow is getting wet
The tears are shedding
Faster than my thoughts
The hurt inside of me is fresh
The feelings inside of me are running
wild
How can some people be so mean?
How can they have no regret,
After doing such a despicable deed
Sometimes this makes me wonder
If they were real in the first place
“Et tu Brute” was Caesar's last words
When the realization struck him
The betrayal of a best friend
Hurts more than anything
“How?” I try to understand
How can someone who is so close
Stab you in the back
Or worse,
They stab you in the face
In front of your own eyes
This makes me confused
What should i do with all the memories?
All the good times,and fun moments
They were so genuine, so real
So why,
Did I deserve this?
Friends are supposed to be there for you
When you feel down and sad
But if even our best friends can’t do this
Then who can we trust?
I realize now that there are other fish
in the vast sea of friends
I caught bad fish, that’s all
Now I am a more experienced fisherman
I know how to spot a bad friend
Of course i will still cry about my old
friends
The ones who i trusted
But betrayed my trust
The ones who abandoned me
In my worst of times
When I felt insecure and lacked
confidence
When I really could’ve used them most
The pain will always be there
And that’s okay
I will never move past them
But at least I will try
I’ll paste a smile on my hurt face
I will pretend that nothing ever
happened
Now I wipe away my tears
along with all my sorrow
I close my eyes
Along with all the past memories
I will try to forgive and forget
Tomorrow is a new day
The sun will rise once again
Tomorrow will be a perfect day to go
Fishing
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 6:34 PM UTC
It takes a spectacular amount of strength
To hold back your tears
To keep it all in
Your troubles and your fears
Your heart wants to let it all out
But you don't want to feel vulnerable or weak
You’re scared to give in
To the comfort you seek
But eventually, you’ll crack
You let it out, you can’t take it no more
Your tears flow onto your cheeks
Your heart shatters onto the floor
But it feels good, to let it all out
Instead of letting it bubble inside
Yes, I’m in pain
But I don't need to hide
I have finally removed my mask
My broken heart is revealed
I am no happy child
My depression is no longer concealed
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 6:26 PM UTC