#fallingapart
i have good days.
just not bright ones.
lately,
they are
favours.
forgiveness
that i ask
from my friends
for the distance
i‘ve put
between us,
for the lies told
with each
how you’ve been.
shelter
my husband provides
instead of going to work
because being alone
is worse
than the shared quiet
of nothing being said
because nothing
could translate
what i feel
in my head.
the world asks
so much of me
and it won’t look away
from the gallery
i curated
by calling it
healing,
honesty and art.
and i’m so tired
of pretending
but i don’t know
how to close it
while people
are still inside
watching me
fall apart.
Apr 29
Apr 29, 2026 at 9:50 AM UTC
I keep waking up
in the wreckage of a life
I swore I’d fix by now.
The walls don’t echo anymore
even the silence is tired of me.
I used to dream in colour.
Now everything feels dipped
in the same dull grey,
the shade of apologies
I never stop repeating.
Every regret has teeth.
They drag across my thoughts,
biting into the memories
I pretend I’ve healed from.
I taste blood
and call it growth.
People talk about hope
like it’s a light switch,
as if I can just flick it on
and stop feeling the weight
of every version of me
I’ve already buried.
Some nights,
I rehearse my absence
just to feel in control,
imagining who would notice,
who would lie about caring,
who would sleep fine anyway.
I don’t want grand endings.
I just want the ache to stop
pressing its thumbprint
into my ribs.
I want one hour
where my thoughts don’t circle
like vultures waiting
for the final collapse.
But I keep breathing,
out of habit or spite,
I’m not sure.
Maybe survival is just
a slow, uninterested miracle
that I haven’t earned
but keep receiving.
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 7:29 PM UTC
The winds blew north
for hundreds of days,
but one day,
the winds changed.
They started blowing south.
And everything in their path
started going south as well.
Jul 19, 2023
Jul 19, 2023 at 2:06 AM UTC
You have no clue what I went through.
Crying on the bathroom floor,
explaining to my mom
everything I had hidden from her
for the past few months.
Weeping for hours and deciding to compose
the hardest letter I ever had to write.
Sobbing because I thought I'd never
speak to him again.
But then crying tears of joy
when he finally came back.
A few days after, dying on the inside
because he left again,
but seeing his name pop up
on my screen after another month,
wondering what I should do
and deciding to reply and
finally
tears slowly falling from my eye
as I faced the fact that I had to say
goodbye.
Jul 7, 2023
Jul 7, 2023 at 2:27 AM UTC
I’m clawing at my chest,
Because I want to make this itching ache stop
But I am unable to reach into my chest and grasp my stomach and clench my heart;
I am unable to tell it to stop its fluttering
Just as I am barely able to hold back the sob that wants to rip through my throat in an agonizing scream.
BUT I CAN'T.
Because I can’t do anything.
I have no control.
And normally I would be okay with that,
But in these moments losing control is the worst thing
Because it is the one thing I so desperately need.
Just when things are going well I collapse into myself again like an exploding star.
The cycle is repeating.
This is the hardest part. It’s the most painful.
It is crying all the time
It is anxious
It‘s having fidgety hands
It's headaches from furrowed brows
It's seeing the inadequacy of yourself and not being okay with it.
It's like having a microscope on yourself
Its being exhausted all the time because you can’t stop the overthinking, the analyzing, or the constant pity parties and comparisons
I’m sick of being so emotionally fragile.
I just want to move on to the next stage already
To the numbness that follows
So I can stop caring
Stop crying
Stop hurting so **** much
I just want it all to go away.
I want the pain and hurt to go away.
This ache isn’t numb, it's not sharp, but rather it is suffocating.
It is hands around my throat squeezing just tight enough so that I feel like I'm dying, but aware that I can still breathe.
Nov 3, 2022
Nov 3, 2022 at 3:15 PM UTC
Between us,
the root of the combined vertical and horizontal both framed expands,
the quotient as orbit is sliced by permanently infinite grows,
the aftermath of temporal magnitude magnified by velocity widens.
Are you letting me go?
Sep 26, 2021
Sep 26, 2021 at 5:45 PM UTC
I have this aching feeling inside of me
I feel as if my chest is being torn apart
piece by piece.
It has come out of nowhere.
I feel it deep inside of me, and it's hurting.
I feel like SCREAMING.
I want to cry.
it becomes uncontrollable.
I need to rip my heart out.
I want it to stop.
What is happening to me?
What is this feeling?
I've never felt this way before
I'm falling apart and I don't understand.
What is causing my wanting to rip apart open my chest?
I need to relieve this intense, insatiable, itching inside of me.
I am in pain and I don't know why.
Jun 17, 2021
Jun 17, 2021 at 12:33 PM UTC
i wish i had two heads,
so that i could spot what was real and what was fake.
one for seeing straight through cracks to make up for the rose-colored glasses the other wears.
perhaps this way i could be ready for the hurt.
May 31, 2021
May 31, 2021 at 1:50 PM UTC
My body is falling apart
I crack my right-hand pointer finger
And it gets sore, each time I do it
Crunching, more than popping
And aching as it does
The fingers on my right hand
Don’t type right anymore
The pinky, ring, and middle
All tight and unforgiving
Clumsily stumbling across the keys
My jaw,
Pops and cracks on the right side
Always sore
Always an aching sort of pain
That clicks when I chew gum
And think about talking too much
The bones
On my right foot
Don’t look quite right
They bend in the wrong places
The skin above them blue
atop sticking calcium, where the skin should be smooth
my body is falling apart
and that is a metaphor
the right side
is falling apart
and that is a metaphor
because my body is falling apart
the right
is falling apart
and it is a metaphor
it is a metaphor
god
It is a metaphor
A broken metaphor
Jan 4, 2021
Jan 4, 2021 at 5:14 PM UTC
Stuck on a single tab
With a hole dug into my chest
Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 9:37 PM UTC
I'm drowning in your space,
I ain't got no air.
Cuz for both you and me
it's not enough place.
We took a leap,
but now we are running in circles
in an endless race.
Im smiling
but its only on my face.
Inside Im crying
cuz we could be the best of art.
I wanted this to be endless,
but babe
we are falling apart.
Nov 2, 2020
Nov 2, 2020 at 8:57 AM UTC
The tears in my eyes
Blur the street lights
As I realize you and I
Were just a drive by
May 17, 2020
May 17, 2020 at 10:56 AM UTC
I have to be honest
thought you were flawless
turns out you’re not
and those imperfections
make you ******* hot
there’s no one like you
and it’s my heart I have to stick to
these other guys can’t bring me pleasure
for me, you’re the only real treasure
I have to be honest with me
it’s still you, all I see
so for peace at heart
I prefer falling apart
that’s my point of view
it’s better to crave your emotions
than knowing someone new
so baby, once you read this
and realize it’s about you
just come through.
- gio, 01.05.2020
May 3, 2020
May 3, 2020 at 5:35 AM UTC
Inside my mind is a battle,
I'm not okay,
They didn't stay.
I'm broken,
My words remain unspoken.
I kinda want to die,
But all I do is cry.
The fights grow,
But I don't let it show.
I'm not perfect like I should be,
I'm drowning in a sea.
I no longer want to fight,
I'll just give up the light.
Everything is ending,
But I'll keep pretending.
I'm sure I'll be okay,
Just not today.
Mar 13, 2020
Mar 13, 2020 at 10:12 PM UTC
Why am I like this?
It shouldn't be this way
Am I really alone
Or is it my brain just forcing me back
Back in time
To the dark
To this inescapable prison
Where have I gone
Where are you
Whoever you are
I can't do this myself
I just keep falling
No one realizes
I'm slowly failing life
The longer I go the more I fail
Slowly crumbling with every step
Failure is second nature now
It hurts but I can't get around it
I can't stop it now
I'm gone
Doomed to this world of darkness
Of failure
Will my brain ever let me go
Or do I need someone?
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 10:16 AM UTC
Can’t believe it but I’m moving on, forcing myself to move on.
So it won’t pain me to see you.
Dec 23, 2019
Dec 23, 2019 at 3:41 PM UTC
You asked me today if I was loosing interest
But what you don't know its you I hope for every night
You don't see me cry, see me worry
You don't know how much I love you
It's just hard to love you when I can't stand myself
I can feel you slipping through my fingers
And I just want to scream
You bring out the very best in me
Even when I don't think it's there
I love you
Nov 4, 2019
Nov 4, 2019 at 5:22 AM UTC
From being said as "mad,wild and a good actor" whenever I got panic attacks in high school to becoming an insomniac now , not only I grew up,but my sadness also grew.
Probably, nobody understood what I was going through.
I let them use me, I let them take me for granted.
I am scared that probably, one day... I'd let people know my actual worth when I leave,when I go far away from this cruel world... Probably!
Jun 18, 2019
Jun 18, 2019 at 3:08 PM UTC
you stood there with sadness
braided to your locks,
and i was pretty used to making homes out of sadness,
and your eyes — they made me think
of both writing poems and running away;
i chose the former
and you chose to smile;
and smiling back felt like jumping
inside a book found in the bottom
of shared beer bottles,
and yet, we read it sober
with our fingers touching
when we’d turn to the next page
and darling, that was how we met.
and there we were gazing at the stars
wrapped in a sunset;
and we named them love
written for a wolf
trapped in a girl’s skin
and a girl dressed
in bleeding moonlights
and together,
we crashed into a fray, unworthy
of being written poems about.
and i loved you so f*cking much,
and even more so because
you couldn’t love yourself
and darling, kissing wasn’t
the most romantic thing we ever did —
it was running away from the world
and darling, that was how
we fell in love.
and running away
was our kind of poetry,
and running away got tiresome
after four books and a couple of heartaches.
and we ended.
abruptly.
like an anticlimactic poem
written by fading silhouettes
atop an abandoned building
as the rest of the world
caught fire and crashed down.
and there you were,
a piece of a debris
escaping my lips and sinking down,
like words in the middle
of a poem i could no longer write,
and i, a pronoun
you could no longer love.
and that was how
we became ashes
without dancing with the flames —
how we became a million pieces
of broken kisses
inside a poem made for two.
and that was how
we became strangers again, darling —
and that was how
i
lost
you.
Jun 13, 2019
Jun 13, 2019 at 9:26 AM UTC
cigarettes still taste a little like our last kiss — like it's 5 am again and we were stuck in rusty rooftops, waiting for the break of dawn, or for the other to initiate the kiss. that being said, i always wished that 5 am's lasted longer, and that cigarettes burned longer, and that we kissed longer. but before we knew it, the sun had risen and there we were, ashing our cigarettes on the floor, kissing our last kiss. but here i am, darling — yours for the breaking; my cigarettes, yours for the taking — so kiss me again. break me again. leave me again.
say goodbye to me, darling. say goodbye, just once again.
Jun 13, 2019
Jun 13, 2019 at 8:09 AM UTC
Slowly i began falling in this pit full of story
slowly i began to see the pain that i keeps.
Slowly i began looking at her in the dark
crying all out because slowly everything is falling apart.
slowly i began blaming myself as i see her
slowly losing her sane because of her faith.
Slowly i began cutting all the veins in my hands
for she don't deserve the faith that she have.
Slowly all i see is darkness, hoping that
when i bid my goodbye she'll be fine.
I wish her the best that one day she sees
the horizons again.
because she deserves it more than anyone else.
Jun 3, 2019
Jun 3, 2019 at 9:58 AM UTC