As I come to write, I blank.
Its like I have so much to say and then it all stops.
Why?
As I come to write,
It’s like the woman holding the pen is new,
Shaken yet steady
Healing but hurting
As I come to write,
a baby cries and scatters my thoughts among the floor. Finding them among the puzzle piecies, magnetic tiles and shoes seems…
Daunting.
But Why?
Maybe its cause the girl who used to walk the train tracks is gone…
The one who drove drunk and sang to the morning sun. Maybe its cause our song has changed.
Gained a few voices along the way.
Maybe its cause the girl who used to find herself in others, is starting to fill the gaps in. Maybe its cause those new voices slowed her down enough that she was able to understand that alone, she is whole.
Yet, as I come to write.. I blank.
Aug 5, 2025
Aug 5, 2025 at 12:19 AM UTC
Theres a string,
An invisble one.
Its starts in your heart and it ends in mine.
No matter the distance, separation or different paths in life,
Theres a string.
And it starts in your heart and it ends in mine.
Aug 16, 2024
Aug 16, 2024 at 4:48 PM UTC
Monday Night..
After work and dinner
After providing space for big emotions (yours, your sisters and my own)
After working through the mess in my head,
Laundry,
Laundry needs to be done
But you are sleepy and need me to sleep
It's hard for me to be still, to not accomplish the tasks constantly laid out in front of me
but you need me to sleep
So I'll let the laundry sit, forgo the upteenth time I've walked through the house putting **** away today..
You need me to sleep, So I'll sit with you.
Aug 29, 2023
Aug 29, 2023 at 10:25 AM UTC
I feel like a ghost
Like I’m here but in there, somewhere, hiding
I paint an ugly picture of me all the time that i try to keep clean
But after your truth yesterday,
there is no organizing..
It’s black, moldy.
It’s hideous and unkind,
It’s damaged goods thrown out,
It’s sadness and longing,
disappointment and let downs,
Its lack of security and grounding,
It’s eat or get eaten, it’s alone.
Fragile I guess is an understatement
But I’ve been the one to break you so many times…
I can’t seem to feel your love, I think it missed me as I was trying to clean, organize, survive
- my ****
The hurt, hurt
Our relationship is testimony to that
We should of walked away, so many times, so long ago..
but we’re here still.. crying
Maybe then you’d be a better you, a more whole you with out the added on hurt I’ve caused.
The weight of our past is crushing me
The weight of my actions are hard to look at
The weight of the hypocrisy is real
I keep on trying to clear things out
To reset the foundation beneath
After so many failed attempts,
I don’t think I know how to do that.
Everything thing I seem to use isn’t holding.
I’m scrambling for healing so I don’t lose you, lose us, lose me to this hole.
That’s really me, the damage I’ve done, who I am. What Ive been, a mean, unkind, self centered *****
I guess I do own a glass house.
Well idk about own, it’s all Ive known.
But these boulders I’ve claimed are here for safe keeping and when I throw them, they take a lot out, but i fear that if I keep that up one day I’ll be homeless.
Cause I’m just a sad girl, in a glass house, who’s learned the art of war..
and unfortunately for you, you love me.
Nov 27, 2021
Nov 27, 2021 at 3:30 PM UTC
It’s been a tiresome week
Filled with tears and hard talks
But there was progress
It’s been a tiresome week
Filled with lies unveiled
But there was progress
It’s been a tiresome week
With souls laid bare
But there was progress, well at least I thought
It was a tiresome day
Filled with betrayal and more deceit
It erased the progress
May 25, 2021
May 25, 2021 at 6:16 AM UTC
It’s said there is a hole inside
and although that maybe true
I feel as though I’m asking to much,
yet, I really doubt that is true.
Yes there is a hole inside,
I’m patching it up - day by day
But on those days when I’m insecure
I need to be coddled,
then made aware
This hole, yes it lives inside of me
I am not doubting that it’s there
It’s just that it makes your love , Something I wish not to share.
Mar 31, 2021
Mar 31, 2021 at 12:03 AM UTC
Stuck on a single tab
With a hole dug into my chest
Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 9:37 PM UTC
The love I have for this human is by far the sweetest thing to touch my heart.
She is of my womb, of my ansestors and of my guides.
May she never let anyone dim her light, may she dance to the beat of her own drum, may she never lower her voice but scream and kick and make her claim upon this world.
May she be of magic, of the night, of crystals and sage. May she be of courage and rebellion.
May she be of love.
The love I have for this human by far reaches the darkest depths of my soul.
Oct 24, 2020
Oct 24, 2020 at 2:13 AM UTC
To you,
May I love you, Know you and be proud.
When the mirror yells good morning,
hydrate
When the job demands more of you,
time never stops
When your husband needs his partner,
be kind
When you fail, you find grace
When your guides move, follow
When your nature calls, answer
When you need to cry, please do
When you need a friend, call
When kindness is an option, take it
When hurt comes, find laughter
I put blessings on blessings upon you,
receive them
Aug 23, 2020
Aug 23, 2020 at 3:56 AM UTC