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colettealexia
an astronaut of sorts
I imagine that you're happy And laughing With people I've never seen I picture that you're working Or still searching Maybe applied for a new degree Whatever it may be For you I imagine good things I don't think you'll go home Back up to that small town Until you're ready to settle down And even then I Wonder if you'll fit in I always thought your heart was too big for Asotin I know that's where you grew up Know that's where your loved ones Built that new house so pretty on the river I imagine you with big dreams I see everything you could be And I find it reassuring Whatever it may be For you I imagine good things
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Feb 1, 2024
Feb 1, 2024 at 8:34 AM UTC
Good Things
I fell for someone While falling for you But when you fall that far You’re digging a tomb And there’s no room for two I put us in a casket Man I thought we had it That you and I were strong enough To make the time move backwards But sorry’s turn to habits That drove me into madness Time of death at 1:19 At twenty one it’s tragic Yeah part of me died that day The part that thought love was always brave The part that thought love could always make a way The part that thought love always stayed
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Jul 11, 2023
Jul 11, 2023 at 7:53 PM UTC
Eulogy
With a diamond on my finger With your memory in the rear view mirror What I've been most amazed by In the past few years Is the ability to restart The histories still to be launched The resiliency of the heart
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Apr 21, 2023
Apr 21, 2023 at 8:01 AM UTC
Resiliency of the Heart
I have realized where the difference lies One I will love for my whole life But this love is frozen time Never growing, never changing, never sprouting deeper roots A love for the one version of him that I knew A snapshot, a timestamp, however true Is not the dynamic, breathing love I have for you So while I thought I may love him for my whole life A stagnant love is a love that dies Whereas you I will fall for a thousand new times
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Mar 11, 2023
Mar 11, 2023 at 10:41 AM UTC
Timestamped & True
Ten because nine isn't enough Violence because we never learned how to love Searched for forgiveness, now we search for blood Couldn't reach an understanding so we're reaching for the gun Shoot it ten times because nine isn't enough
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May 8, 2022
May 8, 2022 at 2:17 PM UTC
Bullet Holes
I stared at the wound as it stayed open Gave up hope that it would ever close Stood up, sighed Walked away feeling resigned To accept the pain as a part of me Not wanting it anymore and yet not regretting it Simply wishing it did not hurt And would not become infected As it lay exposed, bare before the world As I kept walking, life fell in Swept me away in a way love never could Yet love was a part of the whole Life grew larger The world grew smaller Memories grew in number While friendships grew in meaning And as what I knew grew exponentially, Our time together grew more blurry Our separation I understood more As I thought about it less What I thought were stones of foundation Turned out to be forming just the windows Set aside for now, one day to be dusted off and placed in the house that is my life Shedding light on parts of myself I discovered through loving and leaving you I find myself conquering the greatest fear I had when we parted, That I would one day look back and call it young love, Robbing it of what it truly was to me—real love, deep love, lasting. It would be untrue, unjust to minimize it To reduce it to a cliche, to call it a coming of age I feared I would try to disguise it to somehow lessen the pain I didn't realize the possibility that our love may become smaller Not from my efforts to minimize it, But because I would grow around it I underestimated God I underestimated myself I'm not going back and changing the story to make it go down sweeter Saying now that you didn't really know me then to make it feel a little neater You did know me I did love you Our love was not small in the world we shared It was the greatest love I had known And now, now I no longer live in that world Our love did not shrink I have grown Where did that wound go?
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Mar 31, 2022
Mar 31, 2022 at 9:20 AM UTC
A Reflection on Underestimation
I stared at the wound as it stayed open Gave up hope that it would ever close Stood up, sighed Walked away feeling resigned To accept the pain as a part of me Not wanting it anymore and yet not regretting it Simply wishing it did not hurt And would not become infected As it lay exposed, bare before the world As I kept walking, life fell in Swept me away in a way love never could Yet love was a part of the whole Life grew larger The world grew smaller Memories grew in number While friendships grew in meaning And as what I knew grew exponentially, Our time together grew more blurry Our separation I understood more As I thought about it less What I thought were stones of foundation Turned out to be forming just the windows Set aside for now, one day to be dusted off and placed in the house that is my life Shedding light on parts of myself I discovered through loving and leaving you I find myself conquering the greatest fear I had when we parted, That I would one day look back and call it young love, Robbing it of what it truly was to me—real love, deep love, lasting. It would be untrue, unjust to minimize it To reduce it to a cliche, to call it a coming of age I feared I would try to disguise it to somehow lessen the pain I didn't realize the possibility that our love may become smaller Not from my efforts to minimize it, But because I would grow around it I underestimated God I underestimated myself I'm not going back and changing the story to make it go down sweeter Saying now that you didn't really know me then to make it feel a little neater You did know me I did love you Our love was not small in the world we shared It was the greatest love I had known And now, now I no longer live in that world Our love did not shrink I have grown Where did that wound go?
Continue reading...
45
I didn't want to end it Because I didn't want to have weak love I thought that's what love meant then Putting in ninety when you gave ten Till my sister said, "Girl, not for months on end, Babe you gotta cut the thread. You can still love him but you can't invest." And man I needed that
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Feb 10, 2022
Feb 10, 2022 at 8:20 PM UTC
Redefined
When my daughter asks If I ever loved a man before I met her dad I will tell her yes I loved with all my twenty one year old whole heart had And I'll tell her that it's grown since then
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Feb 10, 2022
Feb 10, 2022 at 8:18 PM UTC
Whole Heart
I took the time, sat with the sting of it A whole year to process and grieve it Sort through the feelings of watching you repeat it With a girl that looked like my sequel A year goes by and you're back on a flight She's not there and you ask yourself why I wonder if I came to mind Baby, why didn't you grieve us I went to the funeral and was the only one giving speeches I love the way we tried I love the way we shared such good years of our lives I'll try again and I Know someday I'll get it right But it starts with saying good bye
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Feb 10, 2022
Feb 10, 2022 at 8:12 PM UTC
Good Bye
Paint your ink all over me We’ll see how things go eventually But I think I’m drawn to the way you breathe To the way you see me Pick me up like your paintbrush Like a habit you’ve had though we just met last month Now all I’m thinking ‘bout is us We’ll get lost in conversation The world’s so hurt but maybe we could change it You know I’m drawn to the way you think To the way we dream Pick me up like your paintbrush You know just how to hold me with the softest touch And still make me feel so much
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Apr 15, 2021
Apr 15, 2021 at 7:14 AM UTC
Paintbrush