#dont
Standardized Cognition Retesting.
From Point A today,
we rapidly took on the task,
to serve as oil on troubled water,
a monolayer smoothing
irritated pride, lazy
learner bent normal
utilizing increasing knowledge
flocking in bubbles we feel kind of
realized within as prepositioned minds
governings of, for and by the mob will
volunteers, all, no head of state,
no sharp scruples, no hair shirts,
we acknowledge insignificance, yes,
we have seen this Earth from Saturn.
Reality at scale, within you this instant
900 quintilion energy events occur in
just a second, each second, so long
as your mortal coil continues musing,
default mode demented or just busy,
happy enough, shalom, nada missing…
as fractal first formal function ways
the whole truth proves its worth as
hows and whys at times in places
persistently operating discretion.
Filtering unbelievable cogitation.
New thought, complete sentence.
Begun, incunabula logos swaddling
comforting incubating incumbency
cubicle information processing job
processing requisitions for public res
access gates to swing wide, mind deep
soul and spirit, body and reflex reactions
The admonition loosen your mind, chimes.
May 27
May 27, 2026 at 4:56 PM UTC
you lifted up my mask
but only noticed the crystal tear.
you didn't ask
what it was that caused my fear.
you think you know all
that there is about me
but there is a wall
between the truth and what you see.
you still haven't noticed the mark
even though you feel what i feel,
flame burning my skin in the dark
wondering whether i will ever heal.
you pay attention to my helping hand
too distracted by your own mind
to notice why i wear the wristband
trying to make you blind.
you don't notice my other half
even when i'm crying on call
you don't notice the strain behind the fake laugh
but perhaps its best you don't notice at all.
May 22
May 22, 2026 at 4:50 PM UTC
different
never
belong
feels
need
warmth
cold
right
others
myself
silence
life
everything
build
once
strong
cant
changed
even
fit
louder
stopped
because
yourself
maybe
trying
until
finally
within
loading
screen
mind
world
around
fear
trapped
change
yet
somehow
normal
want
dont
break
heart
scars
only
still
gone
whispers
gather
pieces
soul
why
hole
stop
flame
weak
told
nothing
same
cage
toxicity
wonder
standards
enough
someone
spoke
laughed
saw
places
truly
wanted
became
quieter
anything
butreal
lost
adjusting
match
everyone
expectations
truest
automatically
problem
everywhere
learned
website
password
shaking
hand
hovering
above
quote
before
loads
begins
countdown
heartbeat
races
ahead
result
itself
timer
slowly
reducing
unlike
anxiousness
keeps
increasing
brooding
kind
stress
suddenly
single
moment
dreams
pressure
behind
circle
marks
appear
magically
priorities
talk
judge
fills
stories
moments
lived
used
carry
threw
travel
lighter
opinions
stay
focus
stays
every
noise
deserves
answer
care
knows
caring
going
give
goals
reach
peace
May 20
May 20, 2026 at 3:24 PM UTC
The new freestyle "Ivan Is Awesome" is out name on my YouTube!!!!
They heard the name before they heard the sound,
“IVAN IS AWESOME” shaking underground.
No filter, no safety, no soft disguise,
just raw-ass truth in every bar it rides.
Built from nothing, dirt in the veins,
laughing through pressure, ignoring the pain.
City lights flicker when the bassline hits,
whole world watching but they still don’t get it.
This ain’t polished, this ain’t tame,
it’s late-night chaos with a burning flame.
Brotherhood loud in every line,
BTLB carved in every sign.
So press play if you really wanna feel,
something too real to ever conceal—
but warning stays in the echo it sends:
this track is explicit… no pretending it bends. 💥
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xaa9yl8
LINK IS ON MY MAIN CHANNEL AS WELL!!!!!!!
Make sure to like and subscribe if you like my content<3 I'll make you a free style!! Give me three words in the comments and I'LL COOOOOOOOOOOOOOK<3333 love yo fineeeee boii jayy
May 19
May 19, 2026 at 4:17 PM UTC
This nauseating sickness
And my growling stomach
Reminds me of the dear promise I made to myself last night
“Don’t eat tomorrow”
Reminds me that
I don’t fit the mould.
Turning to the side,
Letting my mirror scream at me,
Picking my food to tiny bits
Like how I pick myself
At any insecurity I see
Reminds me that
I don’t fit the mould.
It’s not just my body,
But my personality too.
My weaknesses. My vulnerability.
That I work so hard to conceal
But end up revealing anyways,
Breaking the hearts of others as well
Reminds me that
I dont fit the mould.
My body,
My personality,
My scars
Tell me
I dont fit the mould.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 5:42 PM UTC
“Don’t cross the yellow line”
To you it’s a joke, to me it’s a sign
That you too have monsters in your head
That you too pick your skin until you bled.
“Don’t cross the yellow line”
Something I saw as an impending deadline.
All those stories about people jumping in,
Wishing that I was the one who had blood on their skin.
The number of times that I’ve been so close
A plan to cross that yellow line after an overdose.
A yellow line that you think looks so cheery,
But to me grew eerie.
“Don’t do it”
But what if people were wishing that I commit?
The people who ignore, who hurt, who stare
Seemingly my friends but do you think they would really care?
“Don’t do it”
Then perhaps I should slit
My wrists, my arms, my thighs
Make up for all those lies.
I would think about what would happen after
And I would hear their wicked laughter
“Well we wanted her gone”
Silent whispers from the ones I thought I could depend on.
“Why do you get so afraid?”
Because I think of the band aid
That I used to hide under the tray
“Just in case” I used to say.
“Why do you get so afraid?”
Because I remember the blade
That I held against my wrist
After making that one last, stupid list.
So next time please don’t give me a scare,
Because you weren’t there when I couldn’t bare
Looking at those wooden boards
Replaying bad memories like records.
So please, don’t cross the yellow line.
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 6:06 PM UTC
Dogs don't talk
This is so true
If you talk to a dog
It will just look at you
It may not understand, but
just certain commands,
Sit, roll over, bark, heel and to stand,
Whatever the case they
are a man's best friend.
They're just like family
There your friend to the end
A compnay keeper, and
can help you to mend
If you feel down and out, and
a burden is heavy,
your happy doggy senses and
Will help you feel merry
they can fetch a ball, or
You can take them for walk,
This World would be bananas
If dogs Start to talk!!!
B.R.
Date: 5/3/2026
May 4
May 4, 2026 at 11:16 AM UTC
There is a bottomless hole somewhere. Whether it is inside your heart, your soul, or your mind, it is somewhere. It could be huge, it could be tiny, it could be a perfect circle or it could be a jagged shape. Depending on what you do, depending on if it grows. It could grow huge, consuming you whole, or it could be tiny and you have full control over it. Yet it is there. It has been there, you just can't feel it until you do. You've got the control of it and yet it stays, waiting for the perfect time to strike. It could strike after a breakup, maybe after a heartbreaking show ending, death, anything can strike it, even after immense happiness. The hole could be soul crushing or you could make peace with it. It depends on how you look at it. Too much of something is bad but too little of something could also be bad. Too much sadness or happiness could be bad. Too much sadness means you could forget how to be happy, and too much happiness could mean you forget how to be sad. But if you have little to no happiness of sadness in your life then that means if you do not get enough happiness you could forget how to be happy, or if you get not enough sadness you could forget how to be sad. You want to be in the sweet spot of a happy life without forgetting how to have healthy emotions. The hole grows sometimes and the hole shrinks sometimes. It is up to you how you take it.
Apr 30
Apr 30, 2026 at 8:41 AM UTC
Living is hard
it's difficult
but think of the little things
the sun peeking through the clouds
or a misty, foggy day
if that's your cup of tea
the thought of reading a book that makes you happy
instead of the rage that makes you throw things
those few friends
of even the one friend
who eats lunch with you
or hangs out with you every sunday, no matter the weather
wearing the piece of clothing
or jewelry
that reminds you of a certain someone
even if it makes you sad
living.
it's hard
but climb that hill, that mountain
and see the sun shining
brighter with every pulse
Living is hard.
but find a friend
to help you through it
and it might just get easier
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 12:34 PM UTC
Dont quit don’t quit on yourself even tho things might of went down the wrong path but ik how hard it is but you have to stay strong you have to stay for the people that love you because they don’t want to loose you because they love you so much and just don’t quit you don’t know how much chapters you have in life to live god will pick the time he wants you to die not when you want to he picks it so you live life until the end because you don’t know how much chapters you have in life you could also have children and meet your long distance friends so never end your life because you never know how much chapters you have in life x
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 10:38 AM UTC
I associate you with cutting
With stabbing myself in the chest
With two hours of
Eggshell silence
I associate you with heat
With the natural flushing of my face
And the redness of my wrists
You and the word strain
Make a rhyme in my head
You see my cuts, you hate them so
I hate you so, for seeing them as they are
I associate you with cutting,
Since every time I think of you,
My wrists begin to sting.
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 1:16 PM UTC
look up, my dear friend
life is more than the hours
of your nine to five
look up, my dear friend
life is more than the whispers
of your life’s mistakes
look up, my dear friend
life is beyond the limits
of your own sorrows
look up, my dear friend
life is waiting just for you
take a chance on you
Apr 3
Apr 3, 2026 at 8:28 AM UTC
i wasn't angry
i was hurt
i was scared
i was crying because god you knew me
so why would you think that
why would you do this?
how did it feel
when i finally broke and i left
and it was you who did it
the one i trusted the most;
how did it feel? were you happy?
free? at last?
some sick part of me
still loves you
by the way
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 4:07 PM UTC
Don't leave yourself
In total darkness.
Find a way inside yourself,
Don't disappear in your sleep.
Wake up, open your eyes -
It was just a dream.
Have you found a way inside yourself,
You have found peace.
March 24, 2026
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 2:18 PM UTC
the thing i'm
afraid of isn't that you can't let go of me
but that i
(saying
that you should leave me)
can't let go of you
Mar 23
Mar 23, 2026 at 11:41 PM UTC
I live up to my name
I'm named as the broken selfharmer
cause
that's all I'm meant to be
I,
I want more than this
Thinking again, I'll never get it though
I know too much
My wrists aren't bare
They don't bleed no more
But they are not bare
Scars take up space
They feel too big
They aren't big enough yet
I Could have gone deeper if I wasn't such a *****
I'm falling apart
I'd go crazy without it I go crazy even with it.
Mar 20
Mar 20, 2026 at 5:43 PM UTC
We escape class together,
Wander those rugged halls smiling,
I smile wider and say,
"I'm having fun, wanna go some more?"
You smile and nod and we continue walking
You call me a troublemaker, rule breaker,
I've never been called those words before.
We hide under the staircase,
Quietly, we disguise our presence
So that we might stay a little longer
You grab my hand, calling me pale,
You press down on my palm,
Was that an excuse just to hold my hand?
We head back up, five minutes before we leave,
We spent all of class together, getting into trouble
I feel like a teen for once, not caring about the rules
You get in trouble with your teacher,
For lying about the bathroom,
To hang around with me,
I smile, my stomach dropping in knowing
We can't never do this again.
You smile and don't say another word.
Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 4:58 PM UTC
Don't let anyone walk over you — neither yourself nor the world,
no matter how low you may ever fall,
don't let the kid you once were
be ashamed of you if he stood before you!
Life is not the dream you dreamed as a child,
it will trample you and spit right in your face,
if it pushes you in the wrong direction,
there is no right one — all are missed stations!
It's your life and you must show it your teeth,
don't just drive through it in neutral,
take responsibility, earn respect,
no one has ever, nor will ever, bow to an amateur!
If you fall to your knees, do not let your spirit break,
raise your head and look toward the stars,
become the master of your life, whatever it may be,
don't just stand aside while life is passing by!
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 5:45 PM UTC
i think about going
when i lay awake at night
and the stars seem to be taunting
and the moon is too bright, help me;
i wonder if you're lying awake too
wishing
on my
demise
Mar 12
Mar 12, 2026 at 8:45 PM UTC
i may be gone very soon enough
so will you be my perfect stranger again?
girl in the mofusand sweatshirt and the red-bracket
smile
and fluffy brown hair and stupid sports
and art and making me join the gsa-
i can't untangle
where you end
and i begin.
Mar 10
Mar 10, 2026 at 7:56 PM UTC
Version of myself, overloaded and caged
by my own making
Covered by layers , sophisticated inside
Moments make me feel detached ,ready to flee
Wavering along winds ,rising through sunsets
Where would I find myself
Lost long before I knew it
Now I ve forgotten who I am
Asking at night ,staring at the sky
Filling my soul with both day and night
Feb 23
Feb 23, 2026 at 1:27 AM UTC
She took her, he grinned.
I watched. I don’t care.
Their laughter means nothing.
I’ll burn my own path while they choke on theirs.
Feb 12
Feb 12, 2026 at 7:48 PM UTC