I'll court myself once more,

Slowly, as the walls come down.

Lovingly,as if I was holding my newborn child.

Easing myself so I might hold my own joy in arms long unused.

I've been depreciating myself, as time went on
Faster & faster with the dexterity of a rogue
Ever so slightly like the courtesans of old

Til the day I find myself, and love myself for what I am.

Sometimes always monsters.

Arm in arm with someone that's not yours : - Intoxicating.

Palms on someone you shouldn't touch : - Exhilarating.

Fingers caressing someone with sensuality thought lost : - Euphorical.

What can you do when you realize you're the reason things end?

I'm done tracing for others.
Try as I may, her whispers kept derailing me.

But when I listen closely,
Eavesdropping on my very own soul,
Gasping at the horrid truth,
I know now, it is not about her.
Now, with renewed purpose, yet with a shaky will.
Some things can never be reconciled.

I'm my own long road to ruin.

Scrawl traces of your existence
Etch runes of power
Nibble the possessions meant to fade
Dig into flesh willing to bleed

Hear, the tales of eons past
Explain your purpose of existence
Lovingly caress as you are whittled away
Plead for more, til you lose where you end

And you begin.

This doesn't feel right.

There's a tune that's loose in my mind.

I recognize what I feel it for.

Pain, and this recognition brings the rain.

I don't want to believe it.

But I have to.

Between the both of us, was I trying to save you, or did you save the both of us?

Feel the warmth emanating from the fuzzy feeling in your chest, instead of the sensation of the thorny roses in your palm.