How does she hide her shame?
How does a girl hide her wet eyes and hot cheeks
from her disapproving mother and father
How does stop her shaking lips
shaky breaths
crumpling face
pacing feet
from surfacing at the worst moment.
How does she refine her ways
to become the best daughter she can be,
the girl she once was.
The honor roll,
never grounded,
follow the rules,
love herself,
love life,
social girl
she once was.

The question could be,
why
when she closes the door quietly,
does she not let them fall
hot and salty
satisfying and disappointing
down her cheeks without hesitation?
Why doesn’t she let her lip shake
as she curls into a ball to try to drain
the shame from her body
in the form of her tears.

Because she does not want to be
caught
red handed
pink cheeked
red eyed,
Because they will ask the question,
Why are you crying?
They will ask it in the exasperated tone,
like it’s the most ridiculous thing
they’ve ever seen
ever heard.
They will look down at her like a
ridiculous
dramatic
theatrical
child.
They will tell her to stop crying,
because it will not help.
They will shame her for crying.

But don’t they know
they’re just making it
harder
for her to rid herself of the shame
they just
dumped on her.

Because she’s only just a girl.