i feel his hands on me
the pads of his fingers
soft as new snow
yet warm to the touch
exciting a fire in me

running fingers through my hair
a stream of auburn locks
but his lips
oh his lips
the way those peach pink lips part
and collide with mine
is like the brilliance of a thousand stars

his skin is warm as if he baked in the sun all day
i can practically hear the drumbeat rhythm of his heart
thrum, thrum, thrum
beating in-synch with mine
as his cheeks flush red
i feel like i’m his
but i’m not
almost
almost
almost enough

close your eyes
make a wish
blow out the candles
on your birthday dish

close your eyes
lace your fingers
whisper a prayer
let the moment linger

close your eyes
on a rollercoaster ride
cart rolls down
knocking you side to side

close your eyes
think of the day
it may have been hard
but I survived
hip hip hurray

light only appears in darkness
because light is the presence of illumination
so love is like light
beforehand you are alone
a world without love
then they appear
and you realize what you’ve been missing

their existence is your light
shining and guiding you
through hardships and sadness
making your heart feel full despite the circumstances

everything they do
makes your world a little brighter
their gaze
their sweet face when they sleep
the way they cuddle you
their love is your guiding light

as a little kid
20 is such a big number
even 10 is impressive
it seems like an unreachable age
an age for true adults
yet here i am 10 months from 20
and i’m far from being an adult

20 is supposed to be a glamorous age
nights at clubs wearing shimmering slips
cosmos in martini glasses
the sound of drunk laughter
but i haven’t even seen a friend in months

instead i’m in sweats
watching Tarantino
drinking sparkling water
and picking my nails
until they resemble small tree trunks

winter is bliss
summer is euphoric
fall feels like comfort from a warm blanket,
but none feel as renewing as the smell of spring.

roses unfurl
periwinkle crawls across the garden floor
even dandelions pop up yellow like the sun from the rich earth
the world is a cornucopia of luscious odours

being outside in the fresh air
bathed in sweet perfume
is paradise on earth
a good omen for a good year to come

when i was little i had big dreams
fancy cars, turrets on my castle, a stable full of horses
but as time went by
the word “no” became as common as “you” and “i”

“i want to be rich”
“no”
“i want to love how i look”
“no”
“i want to be happy”
“no”

instead i began to accommodate for others
make the “no’s” of their lives into “yes’s”
i worked hard to control my own destiny,
put money in my own pocket,
accomplish my dreams,
but then there was you.

you won me over,
and i know it’s a cliche but you stole my heart
your favourite thing to say to me was “for you”.
“a kiss for you”
“chocolate for you”
“a date for you”

you must have gotten tired of those words though
because soon that’s all i ever seemed to say
you made simple gestures feel like a chore
you made me afraid to say “no”
but why did you always get your way?