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Frank Ruland Nov 2014
.     Hello, friend. Have you ever felt attracted towards a certain, special individual? Yes, we all have, and those feelings are completely natural. But, there are some places where romance should be kept well out of. Namely, the workplace. Beware, friend--there are inherent dangers in dating coworkers.
     Is your cubicle becoming rather steamy? The kitchen starting to be a little hotter than usual? Is there chemistry happening in the laboratory that isn't occurring in beakers or concern the elements of the periodic table? Well, then you may want to cease and desist any further flirtation for fear of finding your future, life, and career in fiery fortune. Don't believe me? Let's just look at the lives of three people who did choose to date coworkers so you can see the dangers of inter-workplace relationships firsthand.

     Meet Suzy. She worked at an office supplies warehouse alongside Bob. They began dating, and all was well until she walked in on Bob licking Jenny's personal stamps. She became somewhat flustered and was accused of assaulting Bob with a stapler. She was promptly fired and given a three month restraining order out of fear of her finishing the job. What a mess.

     Here we have Jack. He works as a line cook for an Italian restaurant. He began dating a server named Betty shortly after his promotion to sous chef. Again, all was well for a time, but then... disaster. Betty became slightly jealous upon hearing Jack ask Mel if she wanted her cannoli filled with cream. An innocent question--but one that responded to by chucking a cleaver at her now ex-boyfriend. What became of Jack? Well, let's just say he's one Italian Stallion whose not so well hung now. Just terrible.

And lastly, we have Ted. Ted works as a lab technician for a company that produces industrial use cleaning solvents. Ted befriended a lab assistant named Patty, and it wasn't long before exothermic processes were happening on a regular basis between the two. All was well until Patty saw a text on Ted's phone saying, "I'm sorry about destroying your equipment last night. I didn't know my explosion would be so huge!" Little did Patty know, Ted's message was to his science fair project partner from high school concerning an experiment that had taken place, and not of the ****** nature. Their relationship ended with her throwing sulfuric acid in Ted's face. No bueno.

     Yes, tragedy tends to strike at the drop of a hat, especially when the critically sensitive emotions between partners of a relationship come into play. But, when you forge relationships with the people you see everyday at work, things can sometimes go horribly awry. Don't end up like any of these unfortunate souls, friend! There's a time and place for romance, but that time and place need not be on the clock.
The second installment in my Public Service Announcement series! Please, if you enjoy, let me know what you think and if it made you laugh. I highly desire feedback on these poems. If they're not good, I may stop :/ Thank you, friend!

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