I want to stop ____, but life has other plans.

(What do you wish you could stop doing, but you can't?)

Disappointment in your eyes
Because my delivery cuts you to the bone
Retreating from the war
In hiding just to be calm
The only safe place is when I'm all alone
Tired of fighting and taking it back
Tired of the fear and wringing my hands
The sickening feelings I feel waiting for the next attack
Displaced and disenchanted
Homeless in my own home

You'll always have your say
You'll eventually have your peace
While I die inside in silence
And choke out my beliefs
Better that I drown
As long as you don't leave
Hanging by a thread
Easier to let it die until it's dead
Anger doesn't even begin
To describe the ****** up state I'm in
Haunted in an attic
Feeling like an addict
Desperate to connect
Even when it feels like there's nothing left
Paint peeling off the walls
Recurring dreams and the engine stalls
Crushed like crumbs beneath your feet of fury
Pushing past my need for time because you're in a hurry
Sick house filled with filthy corners and spiderwebs
Drowning out the voices in my head
All of it (like always)
Would have been better left unsaid
Wasting away like a corpse in this empty bed

It's too hard to rewrite history
And the future remains a mystery
The more we plan
The more we misunderstand
And the more important what we have is to me
Why not take a look through new eyes
Reveal what was once built on lies
Silence the hurt
For all that it's worth
And pay attention to how quickly time flies
There is meaning in all that we do
Even when it's too hard to look at you
So we can't waste this gift
Let the clouds start to lift
And let our reality be the fantasy come true

I know I'm not everything you expected
Maybe you lost hope long ago
I just hope you never regret it
And that you know I love you so
Can't take us back to the beginning
Can't rewind your mind
To those days when we couldn't stop grinning
All the time we lost, left behind
All we have is the now
And sometimes we forget how
To just be
To let it bleed the way we used to
I want to just try
Because for you, I'd bleed myself dry
I'm willing to keep up the struggle and the search
I don't care how much it hurts
If it will help you cut away the weight that drowns you
Instead of cutting the beautiful skin that surrounds you
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Because now that I know what I know
It's too close for comfort
Give it to me if you must
After all, I'm the one you trust
So let me take the pain that you've been buried under

I find more comfort in my solitude than from "friends".

Here is where it all begins
Back to the wall and in tears again
Feeling confined like a caged bird inside my glass coffin
Singing and pleading to be heard every so often
Oh how this silence, so deafening
Feels safe in its cruelty and listening
No fear and no demands within these walls where I wallow
Just control and defiance and feelings and words swallowed
I swear to myself "This is the last time."
But I prefer broken fairy tales over nursery rhymes
You said "Do what you need to get your mind right."
So I lie in wait on the promise of your fated, fantasy kiss
Here in our stifled and shielded unwedded bliss
Night
.... after night
      .... after night

When people say
"I'm not out of the woods yet"
It means they're still not healed
Still tangled
Still mangled
Amongst the trees and branches
Roots tripping them up
Pine needles in their hair
Trying to clear a path to escape
Darkness
Blurred stares
Is it an accident that you ventured in?
Was it curiosity that led you out the door?
Circumstances beyond your control?
Or do you continue to amble aimlessly
down the same path of treachery you walked before?
When leaving a trail of breadcrumbs only leads you back to your past
Wouldn't you rather be lost than home safely this time?
Do you heed those warnings and beware of the Big Bad Wolf in the woods?
Do you betray all that is in your head and your heart?
Or do you do as you should?