Tumblr,
Tum more like blur,
My thoughts chaotic and cluttered,
My heart so eager yet flustered,
But I can't seem to always want to check up on you,
It's something I do,
To numb myself from it all,
From reality,
From myself,
From how I distance myself from others,
Yet it's impossible,
I thought it was one of those things a I could package away,
Throw my feelings in a stored box,
Lock it with a key,
For it to not bother me,
But it feels like the box returns back to my door,
When the "Smallz"est things remind me of you,
Tumblr,
Tum,
Blur,
If I wasn't so focused on you.
Tum-blur

It's not those,
Those rich deep dark brown eyes,
Or that messy hair,
It's that smile,
And how they would meet up
And align ever so perfectly to the wrinkles by your eyes,
Or how that goofy little laugh of yours,
How I fell for that-
Dreamy look in your eyes,
How you made it look so effortless,
I dream of it,
It's been a year
It's been,
Been,
Been a tough time,
Cause my phone can't seem to stop thinking bout you either,
Auto correcting your name,
It's been,
Been,
Been a tough time,
As if my phone has been telling me,
As if it's tell me I'm crazy,
Crazy for still thinkin about you again,
Or maybe cause I can't seem to forgive you,
Perhaps forgive myself,
The things you said,
Even those that were kind,
Made me realize,
That you weren't so bad after all,
Those words haunt me,
Cause if you believed all those things that you said,
Why didn't you try,
It's been,
Been a tough time cause what you left me with was,
"It's better late than never" -right?

Weighing in on this pain and pressure,
Want to wake up feeling fresher,
Hurts to see nothing working,
Hearing cackles and smirking,
While my eyes are wide open,
Can't sleep till day light,
Feel the hot rays in strands quite bright,
Lost my mind,
Love to wake up my soul,
Faith is gone out the window,
Purpose is vanished,
Hope has faded,
Routine is as solid
As solid the economy,
Sleepless nights,
Heavy hearts,
Heavy chest,
All the worries and feeling depressed,
Listening slowly as the curtain,
Casts upon me,
The race of life has just begun,
and I'm waiting on starting line,
While they are all at the finish.
But I'm not giving up.
*Oh no, Im not giving up

A back-up plan,
Always thought you were a family man,
Cause I know I'm not the only one,
It makes my heart go numb,
No feeling,
They think I'm dumb,
Wasting my thoughts on you,
I keep falling when everything is gray,
As soon as I am away,
All I see is you,
In colour,
The only light in my life,
This is the feeling I'm used to,
Second,
Not a priority,
But I still fall for that smile,
Those eyes have got me hooked,
Speechless without words,
I can't stop loving you,
Knowing you love her too..

That song was like history,
An opened textbook,
Filled with memories,
Lyrics felt like stories,
Untold,
To this day those stories are ones I withhold,
Playing that song that reminded me,
You were quite like a mystery,
It was everything I wanted you to be,
Opening my eyes I can see,
How every light shun and the colours across the sky,
I stared at the moon and stars,
Chasing cars,
Weird how?
How history repeats itself,
Now that I think about it,
Alone,
To myself,
I guess that was the same way with us too,
We were like history,
Nothing could ever change what we had,
All I can do is write poems in this notepad.

I wish someone warned me,
I wish I could plea,
Plea guilty,
Guilty for wanting to embrace you in every thought,
No matter how many times we fought,
What it was like to have someone like you,
Someone like you taken away,
You're like a never ending symphony,
Your name is a harmony,
You live on,
In this mind of mine,
I wish I could stop reading into all these signs,
The signs that keep reminding me,
What it was like,
Losing someone like you.
Number 52.