Riding a shuttle through a German woods
Passing over pastures and farm fields
As snowflakes dance over the windshield
Like wandering stars
I look back at the years and miles past
And wonder at those that lay ahead
Home left somewhere far behind
Making my place here and now
One step at a time upon my journey

So long tied to others
First to my mother
Then my father
Dragging me along
Then others
Then I began moving
Into the lead
And pulling, pulling them along
Ever forward
Ever held back
Soon, though
Soon
To cut ties
And freedom
Ever glimpsed
In the distance

The Doldrums
Lost here for so long
Never thought it would take so long
Yet here I drift, ever more
Amongst the Doldrums
At first I thought
Only work against them
Choose a direction and row
Until you escape the Doldrums
No more more
Any
Any way out
To escape the Doldrum

Gray twilight touching me again
Nothing lost yet
Yet little to hang onto
Darkness held at bay
Yet daylight near forgotten
Much to be thankful for
Yet much denied that shouldn't
Need to move
Move somewhere to find
Something....
I don't know what
Or where
But I need to move to something
New

walking through a crowd
listening,half-hearted to conversations
happy, friendly, and well meaning
and none of them
touch you
wondering why you walk through
a cluster of should be friends
yet remain a stranger among them
and keep walking
waiting
for that out reached hand
of the man willing to walk
the next mile of hell beside you
or the kind ear of the woman
willing to listen to the story of your past

I am here
Do with that information as you like

As so often,
When disillusionment and boredom
Build
And frustrations of day to day life
Seem too much
A sensation and desire at the back of the brain
Sight picture and recoil
Baking beneath Kevlar and body armor
Stale sweat and burnt cordite
Fill the nostrils
Still better than this pointless suburban life