Is it dreaded humility
Or sense of fear
Which force my poems
To remain so obscure

Nobody knows
Just my hands and eyes
'bout these words that flow
From thoughts in my mind

Will they joke and laugh
Having fun at my expense
Causing tears and pain
And rejection to commence

These are the thoughts
Which I cannot relieve
If only one person
In me, would believe

I could open my wings
Learn how to fly
Show who I am
Let others inside

I pray, someday
Boldly I'll try
'til then I will write
For strangers and I

I guess I'm not quite sure
how addiction grabbed me
I picked it up slow
but it grew so vastly

It started with *****
which turned to puffs
and then powders and pills
both downs and ups

I'd have one in my hand
and two more in my pocket
effects don't matter
I just want to skyrocket

Saying, "Please, take me away
to the places of unknown
Lord, help me escape
these sober feelings I've outgrown"

Cause there's no happy soul
it's been broken to pieces
but the puzzle repairs
each time the **** hits

Now I'm hiding away
from both friends and family
I'll deny it every time
so please stop asking

A boy, once joyous
now fell from grace
peace of mind only comes
from numbing his face

No pride, sheer shame
pure feelings of failure
the thoughts run wild
'Oh, will it all end here?'

Partners in crime
are now long deceased
it's a harsh realization
of succumbing to the beast

See, we're pleading for help and
praying for power
got to rise and prevail
stop trying to cower

Cause there's a want and need
plus strong will to succeed
to turn life around
since devoured by disease

Now I stand here humbled
with apologetic eyes
for my selfish acts
under life self prescribed.

What can I do,
To stop the time?
How much would it cost,
A nickel, a dime?

I like it right here,
Everything looks so nice,
I'm beginning to think,
I might stick around for life.

I refuse to leave this moment,
I simply want to freeze,
I'm begging you now, Wednesday,
Pretty please, don't flee.

Stay here now forever,
Don't ever leave me be,
Thursday doesn't matter,
You're all I want to see.

Your moon lights up my world,
The sky is ever bright,
Your stars do always shimmer,
Like a twinkle in your eye.

You mustn't leave me now,
For now it's time to fight,
We've got to prove to Thursday,
It's now eternal Wednesday night.

So ward off the light,
And stow away the sun,
Tonight is all about us,
We can forget everyone.

You're the only thing that matters,
The single wish I make,
All others are simply lies,
Just fabricated and fake.

So cast your ghastly shadows,
Deliver fret upon the dawn,
We look to be ahead now,
As i begin to yawn.

It seems I may be fading,
Perhaps I'll settle for a snooze,
I know you've got this war in hand,
It's impossible to lose.

Keep fending off that pesky morn,
Wherever it strikes from,
'Cause what a mistake,
If when I awake,
Thursday has already come.

I would rather be a good man,
Than a scholar, any day.
So **** all of the capitalists,
With their wages of higher pay.

I don't need a massive house,
Or a load of fancy ****.
I only want a simple life,
That is non-materialistic.

You need to learn, that man can't buy,
Some friendship or her love.
And memories are all we take,
When we depart for home above.

While you're out blowing money,
I'll just stick to spending time.
Taking journeys and adventures,
Capturing pictures in my mind.

See all I ever want,
Is a life of love and joy.
And to someday raise a daughter,
Who would someday meet a boy.

I could only be so lucky,
In fact, forever I'd be pleased,
If the boy she someday met,
Resembled younger me.

I know I'm not the greatest,
There's no arguing that.
But, I'll remain a gentle soul,
A true and simple fact.

So, call me a lazy slacker,
Perhaps I'll never strike it rich.
But, I'm always kind and caring,
And, I'll never act a *****.

You can try to judge me,
And tell me how I'm wrong.
But, this one here is my life,
And I will live it 'til I'm gone.

Remember, even young Lloyd,
Knew that Gabriel rocks.
And he did what he loved,
And he loved to kickbox.

But see, the music and fighting,
Were mere entertainment and sport.
Instead, he pursued love,
From sweet Diane Court.

Now at night I sometimes dream,
To be slightly Dobler-esque.
Learn to strive for what I want,
Then cast aside the rest.

'cause money may try to alter,
The way people act and seem,
But, no currency will ever affect,
The fact that I am me.

Who are these creatures I hear all about,
With a love and a care that is so devout,
Who can form a bond that will never fade out,
And will offer encouragement in times of doubt?

And what are these things that sound like me?
Our words seem similar when they decide to speak.
They have ears to hear, and eyes to see,
But do they have hopes and fears and dreams?

What is their purpose while living this life?
I've heard they spread joy, but only seen strife.
They can act like your brother, and then steal your wife,
and when suddenly provoked, most like to fight.

See, I've heard a lot of stories, about some good folks,
But I interpret them as blasphemy, lies, and jokes.
They could never be true, they must be a hoax,
'cause every tale ever told was as tall as an oak.

They all seem alike, they all seem so mean,
Are they the odd ones out, or would that be me?
I just want to live happy, and I want to live free,
But they seem to spark up, whenever I scream.

There's a certain pleasure they get, when they see you cringe,
They're on the edge of their seat, when your life hangs by a fringe.
They get a heart full of warmth, and a face full of grin,
Then they savor the moment, until they can seize it again.

To these fictional characters, I must commend,
They may seem helpful, but will hurt in the end.
Yet, I stay in search of one to defend,
The honor and duty of a lifelong friend.

How would you be,
Like her or me?
Long flowing hair,
Or short and curly?

Small or tall,
Fat or skinny?
Nothing really matters,
Except your personality.

See I'll never know, what could have been,
The cutest little girl, or two boy twins.
It's all in the air, and nobody knows,
An unsolved mystery, a true reality show.

Instead I'll sit and wonder,
About the life you could have lived.
And how it all was taken,
Like a **** Indian gift.

I will always think about you,
And ask myself, "What if?".
Would you have painted the next Mona Lisa,
Or jammed on some killer riff?

You know, I wouldn't care a bit,
In fact, I wouldn't give a ****,
If all you ever amounted to,
Was a good and honest man.

I wish I could go back,
To undo what has been done.
So I could someday hug my daughter,
Or shake the hand of my dear son.

I suppose that all of this,
Is my expression of a sorry.
For the mistake that we have made,
Will remain my greatest folly.

You were a queen and I was a dunce
You wanted things and I gave you none
You had dreams and I had drugs
You bought a degree and I bought 'dubs'
You liked boys and I liked you
You broke my heart and I broke yours too
You wanted out and I wanted in
You began to pout and I began to grin
You left me and I left town
You wore a smile and I wore a frown
You moved on and I moved out
You hooked up and I went without
You are doing well and I am feeling miserable
You like being logical and I am nonsensical
You are growing up and I am growing old
You like making rules and I like to not be told
You think you're really awesome and I strongly disagree
You seem a little like your mom and I find that rather scary
You stay home and be happy and I will go out and be free
You have a wild ride ahead and I have plenty myself to see
You have said your parting words and I am now writing mine
So this is goodbye baby girl, I will always remember our time