Toxic
Our relationship is ******* toxic
I drink you in like the bottle of whiskey we shared last weekend
I finally convinced you to let me see you naked
Your body sobered me up
But at the same time I had never felt drunker
Our shadows laughed at us as we made love
Frantically in the dark
I give too much of myself to others
You especially
I gave you all of me
Not half or a quarter
The whole **** thing
Please don't destroy me again

I need to stop thinking
You can save me
I am so mad at myself
For thinking you could
For so **** long
I realize life isn't about being saved
Or saving another
Just love and maybe be loved in return
Because all I really need
Is someone to kiss my knuckles
After I create a hole in the wall

Becoming myself
More and more every day
Everyday finding myself
In the sky
Trees
Grass
You

"Do you miss me?"
No
No, I do not
I do not miss the lingering saliva on my neck
The cracking skin on your lips
Your hands
My hands
Reaching
Screaming , crying, shaking
The stray hairs below your brows
Untamed, you must be
Breathing heavily
Alright I miss you
I ******* miss the pain you brought
Because pain was something
And I normally don't feel much

You mean a ******* lot to me
And I want it all
Curse my ******* name under your breath
As you watch me take the elevator
Down a level
To the lobby
To pretend to leave
So you beg me to stay
But I need to learn you will never follow me down
To the lobby
Because you don't want to cause a scene
In front of other people

I don't dream about you
You always say
"I dreamt of you again"
And I can never say the same
Because you are never on my mind
And I am so sorry
She is always on my mind
You are just here
And she is not

Slightly inhaling
This cigarette between my fingers
I hope this doesn't scare you away
I haven't even met you and I already
Am writing poetry about you
How pathetic huh
But I am sitting here
Staring at the bush directly across from me
I wonder if he ****** you today