You
let me *******
twice
Good
And then you ignored my calls

******* be wild
You sit in that room all day
You've never been drunk
You say that I always smell like cigarettes
You always smell like regret
You make me boring

I've led so many girls on
It's sickening
But I always knew I'd crawl back to you
I'd be on my hands and knees
In the palm of your hand
You rubbing my back and laughing
At me
Because you knew you had me defeated
The noose around my neck was made of your words
Sour and yet sweet
Music to my ******* ears
Remember the first time you hit me?
You laughed like it was a ******* joke
A little tighter please
Make your grip a little tighter
Hurt me until it's all I know
I don't want to remember anything

She said "**** me harder I hate myself"
It took me 4 months to learn what it meant
When she cried in her sleep
I didn't try to hold her or anything
I just followed her outside at 4 in the morning
And sat with her while she smoked her cigarette
She told me I was like a ******* bug bite
The ones you get in the summer
She couldn't get rid of me
She knew I was there and had to deal with me
She wanted me to fix her
My god I ******* tried
We both reminded each other of our bad habits
She told me to stop biting my nails
I told her to stop  hating
Everything about herself

To me
Your lips are oxygen
Your eyes
They are streetlights on my walk home
After drinking all night
Do I love you enough after all I've been through?
The love and the loss
Your hands
Are knives
Sharper
Than your words
As they hold me
They hurt me
But they make me feel so much

You told me
That if I ever needed anything
That you would be there for me
But
I called you last night
And you didn't
Pick up

I lose myself sometimes
In the alcohol
And the girls
Their wet lips
Their hands grabbing at me
Begging for me
I lose myself in those moments
But then I find myself again
In your eyes
In your nail beds and earlobes
In you