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Syd May 2014
I wish to identify myself
with every familiar part of you
to turn and face you at the break
of dawn and find comfort in the way
you breathe as you awake
and rest quite contently on your shoulders
as they bear the impossible weight
of an apology

I took shelter beneath your finger tips
as they turned the pages
of your favorite book
and I found myself seeking refuge
in your palms as you shook
my fathers hand

the same hand that held a
million different demanded
apologies and fragments of
broken promises and hooks
that wrenched themselves
around our hearts and
sunk down into our skin

the same hand that shoke
hastily at the arms of rapture
with veins that resembled
lightening strikes embedded in
our flesh

I want to forget the rest
of the world and go get
lost inside your chest
I want to call your body home
make friends with your bones and
take shelter beneath your ribcage

your smile radiates a rendered
warmth that my lips
haven't felt in days,
and as I turn to face your empty
bed side at the break of dawn
my mind suddenly recalls
the way your lips curled up
as you said you'd always stay

where, oh where have you gone
Syd May 2014
this is not a love letter.
I watched you breathe your last breath and stood there in silence as every last ounce of life left your body and I waited in the room as if still in silent hopes that your soul would condensate around me and fill my lungs with your voice and my hands with your heart and I can't ******* breathe because my brain doesn't know how to operate properly without your constant presence in my every day life.
this is not a love letter.
I have no idea what love is when you can't be in it with someone else. and as you left me I had half a mind to invite you to take my old notebooks and crumpled up papers and broken pencils and my love of poetry with you because now what the **** am I supposed to do?
you're gone.
you're gone you're gone you're gone and
oh my god I am alone.
I am alone, and this is not a love letter.
*This is not a love letter.
(I love you)
Syd May 2014
all choked up on words that lay hidden in the spaces between your fingers and the color behind your eyes
I found the beginnings to poems within your most worn down belt holes and favorite story books
and it was very close to impossible to pass you each morning and remind myself that gravity is merely a factor of the earth and not human beings
because when I saw you it was as if I knew again what a heart beat sounded like and how blood felt running through your veins
and I swore to myself I was done writing about love
but darling, without you nothing's the same
  May 2014 Syd
Deshawn L Downs
Shrek opened up the doors to a new day
As I smiled upon his glistening beauty
His gradient rays warming every being and creature
Oh how I love Shrek.
Syd Apr 2014
I fell in love with the way he flicked
a cigarette and tasted death between his lips at midnight
And took an immense amount of comfort in the fact that his tongue tasted like black coffee and vanilla
and when he smiled I felt like maybe
I wasn't as lost as I believed to be
And every ounce of me despised smoking and pumping the only lungs you would ever get full of nothing but negative years and future tears that would streak the cheeks of everyone you never knew loved you
but ****, there was something so beautifully intoxicating about the way
you cursed gods name
and gently gripped another cigarette between your finger tips
And your eyes were tired but they screamed of stories left untold
like how you died before you were ever even born
and I think that's when I first knew that your heart would never beat quite right,
it would always be half way torn.
Syd Mar 2014
We were all that we would ever be
A hopelessly long list that consisted of maybe's
And someday's
I loved you in ways that resembled sunshine on winter days and rays of light passing through foggy window panes
I had grown accustomed to faces painted with tears and lungs tainted with cigarettes
And the only known cure for things like insomnia and disconnect was found folded in between your arms
A place so warm and filled with thorns
that made my heart resemble something like a thunderstorm
With your voice shaking me with a swarm of unborn feelings and words I couldn't bring myself to speak
I loved you despite the fact that I was dying on the street
Screaming your name at the raining sky to make my voice seem complete
Syd Mar 2014
I have spent the larger part of a long while
and the better half of my existence
combing through the catacombs of
the constant catastrophe that you left
in your wake of words so elegantly strung together that they made me question life and whether
or not I believed in things such as love at first sight
I would love to say that I do
because at any passing glance you
could see that we shared the type of love that bloomed from the guarantee of friendship and pinky
promises
The kind of love that warranted earth shattering arguments and an armada of tongue twisting
and spit swapping
We blossomed from the belief rooted deep
inside of us that forever was a promise worth keeping and no amount of clock reading
could determine the time we had left with eachother
So we spent our time picking out movies we knew we'd never see the endings to
sitting by the fireplace at midnight despite
the fact that it was the middle of June
People don't understand why when I'm asked
where home is I point to your chest and at any request could recite the residents that previously resided
in every secret part of your aching heart
We collided so suddenly and with such force
that all of my darkness combined with your light
and I learned that the sight of your smile could suffice as a temporary remedy of depression
And you make me feel like an exception
to the rule that love at first sight
doesn't exist
because I was blinded when I met you
I first saw you with my lips
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