Hey little sister.  I know you're too young to understand what I've done. They probably told you I died in my sleep, protecting you from the whole story. They'll tell you when youre older. I know you miss me. You still think of me sometimes when my favorite song comes on the radio. But dont cry for me ojeda. I love you
Hi mom. You know what really happened. You knew I was in pain for a long time but you never thought it would go this far.  I know you still cry too late at night when no one can hear. I know you never stopped hurting. But dont cry for me mother I love you.
And daddy, I'll be home again soon. We'll be together. You can smile again dad. I love you.
To all those I loved, to those who loved me. There was no "Sydney" left to save. She died long before I did.
Dear nanny. You're broken hearted just like I was, I know. Your first grandaughter is gone. You're slowly fading. Your smile is gone. But dont cry for my grandmother, I love you.
Hey Pa. You can't believe I'd do this. I was such a happy child. Smiling, always playing. What happened? But dont cry for me grandfather, I love you
To all those I loved, to those who loved me. There was no "Sydney" left to save. She died long before I did.
And friends, stop your crying. You know I hate it when you're sad. I'm still here, you just cant see me. I still hug you, I still laugh at your jokes. Dont cry for me my friends, I love you. To all those I loved, to those who loved me. There was no "Sydney" left to save. She died long before I did. To all those I loved, to those who loved me. There was no "Sydney" left to save. She died long before I did.

I caught myself missing you again
last night in bed
I was trying to sleep
without the thought of you next to me
I thought of what we used to have
and how tender and rare it was
We should've nurtured it
and fixed our love
But we both gave up
This sounds so washed out just typing it but
You were my best friend
and with your love I started to love myself
Now you're gone
and I have no one
I have nothing

Old scars still hurt like a fresh wound.
Forever must have been different to me and you.
Flashbacks like whiplash of your face inside my head.
And all the times you said you loved me burn to ashes in the end.
Like a moth, drawn to an open flame;
I needed your heart throwing me like a hurricane.
I find solitude in the thought of death, I want to lay my memories to rest. Because what's next to come is such a mystery, I tear out my stitches to keep the pain going.
I've grown accustom to the tightness in my ribcage.
We're slaves to a substance; a substance named truth.
You held my heart inside your hands. Safe and protected in your palms, slip up once; **** it's gone.
Love is such a funny thing because once it starts to fade, there's no stopping it from going.
Once it's gone, it's gone; it doesn't come back.
You're like a stranger now and it's so strange to think how once you held me in your arms so close to your heart and I heard it beat. It screamed my name, trapped inside your chest.
We fell pure like snow but we landed and became ***** and corrupt by our surroundings.
Our scars like dirt, changes our color.

Stab the needle into my chest
Make me numb
Rip out my heart
It doesn't beat anymore
I'm sorry mother for everything
I'm sorry lover for anything
I'm sorry brother, sister
I'm sorry father
Please just cut out my lungs and set me free
Close your eyes and disassemble me
I pretend I'm winning this war for you
But I lied
It's been lies this whole time
I'm not okay
I'm not fine
This is the truth
I'M NOT ******* FINE
I'M NOT ******* FINE
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
RIP OUT MY HEART!
SNAP MY NECK!
CUT MY LUNGS!
STOP MY BREATH!
Disassemble me

Hi Kirsten
This is Sydney
It keeps signing me in as you
So I decided to write this poem
Roses are red
Violets are blue
My name is Sydney Rain
And I love you
C;

Dig your nails in my back
And I will swallow your hate
I'll be your poetic *****
If you'll be my metaphorical ****
We already lost ourselves
But I want to forget the memories
Take control of me
Let's **** the pain away

Sweet, tender kisses finally land on my lips. My whole body goes on auto pilot when I wrap my arms around you and I kiss back. Over and over our lips touch, gently. You pull me in closer and I do the same. One last, long kiss before we pull our lips apart. I rest my forehead on yours and we just breath. You pull me into your chest and hold me.
"I love you" escapes your lips
I bury my face into your neck. "I love you too." I mumble into the collar of your shirt. My first kiss...our first kiss was butterflies.

I feel the paranoia growing.
Chewing and clawing at my sanity.
I feel your eyes burning into my back.
And I know you're reading this right now,
hiding in the shadows.
I fear things I can't see.
Maybe it's all in my head,
my irrational fear.
I have my back against a wall,
so I can see all corners of this hell.
I hug my knees.
For I am small and weak compared to my fears.
The shadows breath...
whisper...
swallows me in its unholy fullness.
Tell me...
Why?
Why must it be me you haunt?

The wall that I built to keep you in crumbled to dust
And now just like my kingdom there's no more of us
I let you take my breath, just another mistake
Because once a **** up, always one now here's another breath to take.
Who knew the rope that tied me to you would turn to a noose?
YOU SAID YOU'LL LOVE ME ALWAYS
YOU SAID YOU'LL NEVER HURT ME
Now you're saying "I love you, but things just aren't the same."
You were my whole world and I thought I was yours.
But I guess I was wrong because all promises bound were eventually cut loose.
I still need you but I don't think I want you back.
I just wish it never ended, I don't want to start again.

Let it bleed through your veins,
slowly driving you insane.
I think were ******,
but it tastes so sweet.
This intoxication,
this fixation,
I feel the music consume my soul.
The beat matching the one within my chest.
My body slowly contorts into something inhuman,
my true form begins to show.
The animal inside me breaking free.
I need more, more.
The beat like a drug,
I need the lyrics to appease my addiction.
The animal looking for its' ****.

"Hey Sydney, I don't wanna upset you but things haven't been the same between us. I don't wanna hurt you, but I think we should break up. I'm so sorry, but I know you feel the same way."

And like that you were gone. My best friend, my life line. Everything. Gone. And now nothing matters anymore.

I like feeling this way
I like having a break from the sadness
It's just a good day
I have no complaints
Though I'm still confused
I'm happy right now
The smile is real
Why does my chest still feel tight

I cut out my life and watch it drain away. Feeling peace and solitude dosent come without a price. The scars tell my story, they know what I've been through. Its been a lot of ****, so I wont let it happen to you. So hear my voice yelling over your screams. This is my lullaby to those who bleed. When you feel so alone, I am your angel to carry you home.

I'm so scared I'm going to lose you
Every day you seem to get worse
So lost in your sadness
I'm scared one day you'll leave
I don't just mean leave me
I mean leave this world
You promised you would stay
But I think that promise is shattering
I hate to see you in so much pain
Watching you cry kills me
I just want you to be happy
I want to make you better
I love you

I see your face
And I still see the eyes of a friend
But I remember what you said to me
No...
What you did to me
How you stabbed me in the back
And twisted the knife
I can't forgive you for what you've done
You took it too ******* far this time
Sorry

All my friends begin to abandon me
I know I'm changing
It's not my fault
If I could stop this I would
Everything I once knew is gone
Whatever...