I'm in love
With a nicotine addiction.
He doesn't know.

I've fallen for someone's mind
And soul
But not the simple notion
That is love
I've fallen as a bird falls from the sky
Not as a couple falls head over heels
I've fallen as raindrops fall from the heavens
As you fall when falling asleep
The adrenaline rush as the rollercoaster descends
Is the same during our conversations
Or when I look into their soul through their eyes
I've fallen for their mentality and thoughtfulness
The outbursts of insight and ideas about the world
And how it works
The psychology of the entire population
And how everyone's individual worlds intertwine
I've fallen for a heart, soul, and mind
The way the leaves fall before snow

I have an addiction
To the touch of a skin so sweet
A gentle reminder
Of the hope that lingers in my heart
Your gaze sets my chest on fire
The flames licking the edges of my subconcious
Enough to remind me of the subtle effects of something that used to be called love
Prodding common sense with a notion of maybe this time
Maybe this won't be the devastating blow the last broken heart had
I have an addiction to the thing that makes me forget

After everything that you said to me
After all the tears that fell
The lonely days and
The nights spent wallowing in pain
After you decided to stop being a friend
Even for no reason
After everything you had already helped me through
After I tried my best to do the same
After I tried to make you see that I can submerge emotions
After trying so hard to keep you around
And after you still decided to fade out of my life as much as possible
Even so
Even after everything
You can still make me smile
Even after you've forgotten that I exist.

How do I forget
Forget the wanting and the waiting
A hope for a future with you
How do I turn off the voice
The one that tells me not to give up
That maybe one day
Someday somehow.
You drag me along
Like your little heart slave
You beat me into emotional submission
And I succumb to your gaze
Tell me
How do I forget that
And how do I forget You

I know you
But I want to know you
I want to know everything
What makes you tick
What makes you love
What makes you hate
I want to know what fuels your fire
And I want to know what calms your storm
I want to know what makes you fall
And I want to know what makes you stand strong
I want to know what makes you giggle
What makes you laugh
What makes you smile
I want to know what makes you cry
What makes you sad
What makes you sallow
I know your name
I know your mind
But I want to know your story
I want to know your heart
I want to know your soul
I know you
But I want to know you

Drifting deeper into the darkness
A despair so desperate
It's cast aside for those who dream at twilight
For those unfortunate enough to bring the concious along into the abyss
Thoughts ravaging, fueled by an unchained imagination
Set free by resting eyes
The dreary, dark, desolate subliminal, unleashed like a starved hell hound
To feast on the innocent illusions of awakened hours
To **** over peace and bring it crashing to the ground with graceless, sobbing tears