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SweetCindy May 2014
Cluttered room, piles of clothes on a queen-sized bed that rarely gets made.
A desk full of papers & pictures she hasn't looked at in over a decade.
Cabinets, book shelves full of candles & nick-knacks,
books she's never read - hard cover & paperbacks.

She looks under her bed, pulls out a locked box.
Finds envelopes stuffed with letters from best friends & admirers she had almost forgot.
She hasn't seen or spoken to the friends in many years -
they said their friendship would be strong forever, would never disappear...
The admirers have since found themselves wives & have some kids,
but re-reading these letters, it stirs up vague illusions of what might have once been,
A romance almost sparked but never ignited.
A life that once existed, if but briefly,
but never was or will be.

Now, amongst all the "things" she has collected & stored,
She wonders to herself: "Why am I so bored?..
How did I let those times get away from me?
Why have I forgotten so much?
What do I have to show for all the time that has gone by?
How do I get it back?
Why do I feel like nothing & everything has changed all at once?"...

She puts the envelopes in the pile of stuff she no longer needs. She fills the bag with trash. Clears the bed & slowly drifts to sleep...alone.
SweetCindy Jul 2012
I loved you from the deepest part of my heart.
You said you loved me from the start.
I said: "I don't understand.. why me?"
You said: "Because you're you.. I'll love you endlessly!"

You told me, though we had to part
Not to forget you - to keep you in my heart.
I promised I would - yes, always!
And everyday, in my mind, your memory plays.

You - my first true love -
you're the only one I'm thinking of.
Do you realize it's torture on me?
I love you, but you I cannot see.

I pretend the sound of your voice is all I need.
But I am continuously wrong.
To see you, feel you, hold you - I plead!
Without you I can't go on!

I love you, but I still don't understand -
Why me? You could have anyone!
To feel the touch of your kiss again,
I long for that day to come!

© 1995
SweetCindy May 2016
I know we've been through it all before.
I know you said we were just friends - nothing more.
But do you know just how difficult it is
To see your face, hear you voice and still feel like this?
A million times I've fought the feelings in my heart
I've wrestled my mind to do it's part, be smart:
That there's nothing more I can say or do.
You've made you choice, I can't have you.
But somehow it's as though there is a secret potion
Something brewing beneath the surface that might change your emotion.
If I put it down in writing, share all the lyrics to all the songs, that make me think of you, or how I feel
Maybe then you'd see the light( so to speak) and realize this is love for real.

But then I fear that even just one spoken emotion would your friendship deter... But in my mind, in my heart..

There are not enough words
SweetCindy Sep 2013
My brain is scattered like a fly on a windshield.
I want to convey my thought clearly, but there are so many they become a blur even to me.
I wish i could write something mind-blowing, but I feel like my brain would explode.
I have a deluge of emotions & thoughts & insights inundating inside my mind, but it's like trying to draw up water from a well with no rope.
I finally feel complete & happy & well, embracing who I am, yet I feel like a stranger to all who know me.
Falling asleep as I write this...to be continued

— The End —