Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say
But could anyone find beauty in me?
With my tousled golden blonde waves that fall in my face
And cover my crystal blue doe eyes
Legs too long, feet to big
"You'll grow into it," they said
But never did
Skinny, but never quite skinny enough
My oversized sweatshirts swallow me up
So tell me, someone, anyone, what do you see?
Is there beauty in a girl like me?
I'll never smile, when I look in the mirror
But beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say

How selfish is it, to take everything
And give nothing in return

Trust, loyalty, companionship, confidence
Taken with greed and poured into a glass that was never quite full

Even when my own was empty,
I still found ways to give and pour far beyond my limits

My sweat, my blood, my tears
Each drop collected with precision to ensure you never went without.

Then gone without a trace, without a thank you or goodbye
No evidence that we ever even shared an existence, much less a deep love

I gave you all of my secrets, but it turns out I was yours
I gave you all of my secrets, and you couldn’t even give me your name

We are not well
So we destroy ourselves
Falling off
We vanish and are forgotten

Black heart, white skin
Faded red scars that she's covered in
Deep purple bruises, tired blue eyes
Long sleeve blouses and makeup are her disguise
Golden blonde hair, rosy pink lips
Dark brown liquor from the bottle she sips
Murky green water, orange sunset skies
She's finished living in this world of lies

Doorbells chime
Coffee pots brew
He glances at me as if on cue
Footsteps shuffle
Thunder rumbles
In a raspy voice I hear him mumble
Dark roast
Light eyes
His smile is known to mesmerize
Rain outside
Brings crowds in
And suddenly I'm next to him
Hands meet
And then do eyes
I've met my angel in disguise

My body is here, but my mind is elsewhere
A storm stirs up inside of me, causing a tsunami of tears to spill from my eyes
Shaking, screaming, sobbing, but I can't hear a sound
All noise overridden by the voice inside my head
I want out of this place, but I fear where I will go
So I swallow my pride, and a handful of pills, finally freeing myself from this living hell

How do you gain the will to live
When all you want to do is die?
When you stop caring about everything, and just stop wondering why
The empty silence fills my brain, with nothing to fill the void
All I want is to feel again, I'm becoming quite annoyed
The little voice in my head whispers thoughts of suicide
They grow louder and louder day by day, and someday I just may try

People are staring, are they looking at me?
What is it this time? What could it be?
I know I'm not pretty or skinny enough
But I put up thick walls and try to act tough
Can they see beneath the surface, through all the cracks?
Do they know about the anxiety or the panic attacks?
Can they see the cuts and bruises that litter my skin?
Oh how I hope they can't see what's within

Sweet, pure as the driven snow
Cold, frigid as the waters below
Soft, with sapphire eyes and an inviting smile
Lost, she hasn't been herself in awhile
With a rope, hanging from the tree
She jumps, and once again she is free

The radiant golden sun begins to peek over the horizon and illuminate the morning sky, but I can't take my eyes off of you
The way your disheveled honey locks fall in your face
The way your chest rises and falls with each breath, like an ocean wave crashing against the shore
The sun's rays begin to light up the room, causing you to groan and open your eyes
Your raspy voice murmurs "good morning," as you brush a piece of hair from my face
Your bright emerald eyes are staring into my deep blue ones, and I feel warm inside like a morning brew
The mornings spent with you, my dear, are mornings well spent

Hearts beat out of time
Frozen fingers intertwined
Foggy breath, rosy cheeks
Russet eyes play hide and seek
Quivering lips then collide
Everything else now subsides
Fit together, like lock and key
No other place I’d rather be

Love is patient, love is kind.
Want to know a secret?
It's all a lie.
Happily ever after is just a myth.
So my suggestion to you is to plead the fifth

Don't let love's charms lure you in
Trust me, you'll thank me in the end Cruel and ruthless with a menacing grip.
In love's ocean you'll be a sunken ship.

Love is *******. How could it exist?
When time after time I'm left alone in the abyss.
I can't learn my lesson no matter how hard I try.
A broken heart is how I will die.

To my fellow romantics, with broken hearts.
Don't let the world see you when you fall apart.

Make me your masterpiece, if you will
Claim me as your own
Leave your signature inked in my milky skin
Let your lips and hands explore the soft curves of my small frame
Coax the sounds out of me that no one else can
And don't stop until I've become an exasperated mess beneath you

I have turned you into my very own masterpiece
Is this what you wanted?
Traces of my red wine lipstick litter the defined lines and curves of your body
My nails leaving raised lines down your back
Dark bruises inked into your sun kissed skin
Your breath labored, pupils of your emerald eyes blown wide with lust
Your neat honey locks completely disheveled
Your clothes in a heap on the floor
My hands and mouth have explored every inch of you, and carefully sculpted your body into my most prized work
I have created something worth more than any Picasso or Van Gough
And all it took was a crooked smile and a little whiskey

Boiling blood, pounding heart
I knew someday we'd be torn apart
Body to body, skin to skin
Where does our story even begin?
I was naive, experience I lacked
Little did I know your intentions were cracked
Thought it was love, but it was really just ***
Oh how I pity the poor girl who's next

Can you hear them, the voices in my head?
They're growing louder.
I can't silence them anymore.
Can you hear them, my screams that pierce the quiet?
I want them louder.
I don't want to silence them anymore.
I'm growing weaker, my insanity stronger.
How much longer, til I pull the trigger?

My head is throbbing with a pounding migraine
My hand is cramped, never releasing its death grip around my pencil
I scraw various numbers, letters, symbols, and figures across the page
I hear the foreign language of geometry being preached by a false ginger
A continuously unanswered question comes to mind
When will I use this in life?
A realization hits me
I won't

The pain fades ever so slowly now
His poisonous venom seeping from my heart
This venom is unlike any other though
It is stronger than that of anh snake, spider, or other beast
I was so oblivious to the effect it would have on me
A ruby red rose glistening in the light of dawn
Harmless right?
Wrong.
I wanted the rise to call my own
Longing for its velvety petals to caress my scarred skin
I was not even the slightest bit careful
I did not look before I lept
Little did I know the rose had thorns
Lots of them
They added to my ever growing collection of scars
The walls I spent years building up came crumbling down
Coursing through my veins, the poison took over my body
My glass heart shattered into millions of shards
Every breath is a struggle now
Every moment forced to be spent on this earth a living hell
As the venom leaves, a new emptiness replaces it
I feel nothing now, like my body is paralyzed
Something good will come from all of this right?
The empty must eventually go away
It has to
Hope is the only thing left keeping me alive
Hope is moving on to greater things
My hope is fading faster than the venom though
With my last breath, I decide that whatever is coming isn't worth waiting for
And with that I leap, not even bothering to look first
I am feather light as the world around me slowly fades into darkness

Blowing in the autumn breeze
Knocked free from the safety of my branch
Crunched beneath careless feet
Swept away and forgotten
We all fall down

Drawn upwards
Like Cupid's bow
Purer than the driven snow
Hidden away
Behind rosy pink lips
When I see it, my heart skips
Warm and inviting
And better every time
Waiting for the day
that your smile meets mine

Everything about him reminds me of autumn
The way he carries himself is like a tree, tall and sturdy, gently swaying in the breeze
His disheveled honey blonde hair perfectly frames his oval face and defined jaw line
His warm dimpled smile lures me in, and I can't help but smile too
Freckles dot his tanned skin in a seemingly careless manner, but upon further examination it becomes evident that they line up like constellations, each one placed with great care
His eyes are the kind you get lost in, deep green like a redwood forest with specks of gold like rays of sunlight shining through
I am infactuated with this boy, his presence leaving me defenseless
But just as all good things do we must come to an end
And just as autumn turns to winter his warm heart turns icy cold, leaving me obliterated in the dust

The relentless sky releases its downpour
Droplets pounding against the glass
I do not even bat an eye
As I hear the lighting clash
I listen to the thunder boom
Like the mighty lion's roar
Inside my head with my unappeasable demons
I am persistently at war
The battle is unfolding
The storm still raging on
I wonder when both will cease
I wonder if I'll live til dawn
The only thing I wish for is from my shackles to be free
I have to ask, which is worse
The storm outside or the one brewing inside of me?

To see you in the Fall--
I'd give the Changing of the Leaves
The Crunch I hear Beneath my feet
And the Crisp autumn Breeze

To Meet you in the Winter--
I'd give the Driven snow
The Sound of Sleigh bells Ringing
And the Fire burning low

To find you in the Springtime--
I'd give the Picnics in the Park
The April Showers that bring May flowers
And the Beautiful rainbow's Arc

To Stumble across you in the Summer--
I'd give the ocean Waves
The Warmth of the Sun upon my back
And the Starry nights that End the days

I'd push Aside the Centuries
If your arms I Could be In
I Hate the sound that Goodbyes make
So Until we meet Again