Atmosphere charged with fantasy
tonight will he kiss me
an involuntary shiver ripples through me
he’s teasing me mercilessly
imagined bliss felt longingly

I try to capture every ounce of him
he has an hypnotic magnetism
that grips my glance
my lips quiver, askance


Goose-pimples stand out on my arms
alert to all his obvious charms
my reaction alarms
as an uncontrollable urge swarms


He does it to me every time
watching him on screen, sublime
he’s the gorgeous movie star
and to him I would travel far

My first love
not love
an obsession
an all consuming need

School
what’s that?
plans gone
at the drop of his hat

Every waking moment
filled with him
every dream contained him

I fell pregnant at nineteen
had fell for him at thirteen
I had a beautiful son
he became my new obsession

My beau was no longer
my sole reason for living
no longer (him) all my attention giving

He was jealous of his own son
something even now I can’t comprehend

He never hit me before
this being that I adored
for months he wore me down
on my face a worried frown

I had to go home to mum
tail between my legs
got my own place sorted
all plans with him aborted

He went on to do evil acts
I’m not privy to all the facts
he died alone in a prison cell
couldn’t handle his private hell

He’s left a scar on my heart
one from which I don’t want to part
because he had me beguiled
and gave me my darling child

He’s a ghost from the past
that I feared would haunt me forever
now I rarely think of him if ever

I have a personality for every occasion
If you want extrovert my voice I will be raising

If you want quiet
I’ll keep my tone light

If you want rude,
listen up *****

If you want crazy
Just call me Daisy

If you want a bore
I can make conversation a chore

Whatever you want I’ll bring along
Inside I’ll be singing my own song

Land of saints and scholars

not for us dog collars

no tying me up

only church wine, I sup

if I’m bound

it’s to the sink

head bowed and shouldn’t think

no *** please, I’m Irish

no flattery, that’s fresh

birth control is down to rhythm

stop those little ***** swimming

not allowed use a ******

I’ll have to take it up the ***

Ever-darkening storm clouds
cluttering up my perfect blue sky
their temper my peace shrouds
awaiting for them to let fly

Raining on my parade
no room in my world for a grinch
keeping up my happy charade
from their expression I flinch

I sneakily exit the room
returning to my contented place
they can drown in doom and gloom
on my visage, their mood, no trace

Burying my own wants under some man’s
keeping them locked away
but there still there, never go astray
lurking in the shadows of my mind

Raising their head now and then
but smothered by his needs
pandering to his whim
nothing matters but him

that was before I discovered self-esteem
realised I can chase my own dream
knowledge makes me feel supreme
grinning like the cat that got the cream