Yet
Another
Immense bowl poured,
Deliriously! Cheerful! Cereal!
Rains
       like
           *****,
Eyes wide,
(The bleach white of critter-milk
Startled me sometimes.)
Gut protested,
child-brain gone static
With tv soup, frantic like my
Churning      stomach

Yet
another
Guilty passage to my mouth,
Quick avoiding eyes
Of stranger aunt
And stranger uncle,
Passing on faded vinyl tiles.

Retreat! Repeat.

Stagnant        prepubescent  
  Curled          embraci­ng  
An anciently abrasive couch

One zombie hour in
TV Wonderland!
For each 100...miles...from home:
  
This is not a vacation.

Not merely a visit, mama, though you
Assured. Me.

This is not a vacation but the
product
Of a failed! Marriage!
A case in court, the big THEY.

Deposit me here,
While...I...ferment:
An investment:
Television stares
And a belly full of
Cheap
Cereal.

Disappearing like a wounded dog to die
puking up your insides while
smiling, smiling gracing ground with coping mechanisms rendered absolute
like a redneck barbeque, cultureless culture
both choking you mute

Getting high, casually mentioning suicide
like some necessity of existence,
last January she died last January
it happens.

All victims of circumstantially internal
trajectory outcomes,
statistical sadness-
yet
I cry,
With tears your experience dies
And becomes mine.

I’d call it ironic
If I knew what that meant
Likely every listener
Finds it ironic
That I say these things
I have the blues
In my privileged ears
And I’m hungry
By my choice
To be other than that
I must cross the river
In the opposite direction
Of the old train
Quickly over the bridge
Into shadow
And I look into darkness
And see myself
And my love