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I’m just 3 years away
From being 3 decades old
Surprisingly, I feel at least nothing
For the first time since turning 18
Managed to keep my cheeks dry today
My head isn’t foggy
My heart doesn’t hurt
I’m far from being happy
But at least
I acknowledged turning
A year older
I don’t look forward to anything anymore
The sun rose today
And it will set
As it did yesterday
At the very least
I didn’t feel like a disappointment today
And somehow
People remembered me
When our dreams die
Do we die, too?
Or is it the other way around?
Broken ties
Right before my eyes
Sat at the dinner table
Fed with silence
And disguise
For how long
Does this stay
Unbearable
I whispered through the night
Wishing things would end
Because if they aren’t
I don’t know where I’m heading

I wrote a letter
To my family
Friends and unknown lover
That if i disappear
I swear on my life
I am not dead
Maybe I just couldn’t
Find my way home
As i have never been
To one
What does sacrifice even mean
Does that make people happy?
I’m sorry
If my worries
Control me
I’m sorry
If my depression
Wins over me
I’m sorry
If you think
I’m an adult
And smart
But I ain’t that
I’m just 26
And anxious
What was the saddest apology you’ve ever heard
An apology for simply existing
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