What if they all get tired of me
For seeing me tired all the time
I wish I could explain
How this is different from last month
Or the last week
I am all the shade of grey and blue
I wish I could show it all to you
What if no one believes me anymore
What if my sadness makes you mad
And I can’t make you laugh
Sometimes I feel like a killer
I’ve killed myself a hundred times in my head
But I feel like I’ve killed everyone around me
Because I don’t see anyone now
And it makes me even more sad
Someone told me to pray
Beg for forgiveness
For letting the demon in my body
How do I tell them
I am my own demon
I’ve tried to exorcise myself
Crawled and knelt til I bled
All I could do is cry
God knows how much I want to be better
But I’ve fallen deeper than anyone could think
And it’s all dark in here
I only have me