What if they all get tired of me
For seeing me tired all the time
I wish I could explain
How this is different from last month
Or the last week
I am all the shade of grey and blue
I wish I could show it all to you
What if no one believes me anymore
What if my sadness makes you mad
And I can’t make you laugh
Sometimes I feel like a killer
I’ve killed myself a hundred times in my head
But I feel like I’ve killed everyone around me
Because I don’t see anyone now
And it makes me even more sad
Someone told me to pray
Beg for forgiveness
For letting the demon in my body
How do I tell them
I am my own demon
I’ve tried to exorcise myself
Crawled and knelt til I bled
All I could do is cry
God knows how much I want to be better
But I’ve fallen deeper than anyone could think
And it’s all dark in here
I only have me

Did my enemies send me demons
So I would suffer?
Did they wish me dead,
Just to prove they’re right?
Was I simply too ahead of myself,
And burned my own life?

If you come into my room
And find a noose
At the bottom of my closet
Please don’t come to me
And confront me
Please get it out of my room
Hide it somewhere
Or throw it away
Because when I come back
And find it missing
I will just tell myself
Well, everything happens for a reason