All of the boys
I have ever loved
Have been
Illusions

I could have
Written them
On used napkins
In golden
Cafes
Or scrawled
The adjectives
Describing them
Across pages
Of a journal
Whose pages
Are too empty

Their hands
Were always as cool
As their warm hearts
Before I fell
For them
And as warm
As their cold hearts
After I had
Stumbled
And dropped
Into their
Waiting
Wanting

Demanding
Arms

I could have written
How many chances
I would have to give them
Molded
Into their hopeful
Smiles

'Forgive
Me'

I may as well
Continue
To write
Words
Empty
And full
Like the sky
And fall in love
With the made up boy
With the brown eyes
Standing in front of me

we think
it's easy
take a sip
of fire
inhale
and exhale
sweet smoke
that makes
our eyes sleepy

the cheap
alcohol
makes our eyes
fill
with tears
shake and tremble
when we've been laughing
all along

hold my hair up
while i throw
up
misguided
situations
unthought through
ideas
hold me
up
while a stumble against you
catch me
when i fall

and let a stranger's
fingers
move across
the stockings
on my legs
with a wink
don't think
she doesn't see
or feel
when her eyes are closed
and she pretends
to be asleep
with her eyes open
and a naive
smile
plastered
like the red lipstick
across her running
mouth

it is so easy
to say goodbye
to some people
and i know
it shouldn't be

or maybe it should be
to everyone else
but not to you
and if that's true
i don't think
we have said
hello
yet