Simply
Struggling
To stay
Alive.

I have no idea how to un-erase so I just puddle at the door
My face looking like a pile of fallen cards
Like everything has been playing me.

I tried so hard.

When I said give me a ring

he thought I meant a call.

My Dreams
are for sale.

I am a souvenir shop

that is always open.

I don't know
if it
should have been
this easy.

I fell in love with you

and the person you are

made it easy for me



to get over you.

You recognize love after the fact
You did what you did and that was that

Don't say words that you don't mean
When I'm gone, please speak well of me

Looking back now
I only wish I had been kinder
Did I ever know love, did I ever know love?
And could I have been blinder?

Don't hold back all your love for someday, for someday

I would say that I'm sorry if it would do any good
But to never regret means you have to forget
and I don't think that I could

I had a fantasy about you

That we would share an ice cream cone

That we would order a double scoop of mint oreo and we would just sit and share an ice cream cone.

That’s not the whole fantasy…

I just wanted to go driving with you and to the dairy mart
and just do errands.

I don’t even think that you would know.

At the top of the world there's an island
A place where the sun never shines
But the people don't care because the snow over there
Is so bright, they nearly go blind

They live at the foot of a mountain
Where the flowers last hardly a day
But they live off the land and lend each other a hand
On this island where night is their day

They'd punish me if I dare tell you
And if I ask them, they'd say they don't know
But what keeps them healthy even though they are not wealthy
On this magical island, is snow

The flakes as they fall look like candy
And the children rush out when it snows, for a treat
When they open their mouths and gulp down the flakes
Because nothing on earth tastes so sweet

But then one dark day, smoke blew in their way
And the temperatures got higher
On the horizon they saw fire and the waters did rise
And the snow started melting away

And the people weren't tearful, nor fearful or scared
Because the secret was out there
At last, the secret was shared

They watched as the ice turned to water
And streamed down into the sea
And lit up the ocean and crept in slow-motion
Through the world they never did see

And people in lands around the planet were in shock
As the light came to shore and lit up the beaches
And even their teachers couldn't say what the bright light was for

It flowed upstream through the mountains
Burst out through their fountains
Breaking all life's natural laws
Till they lit up the planet and all who lived on it
Were touched by this magical force

And they looked all around at the sky and at the ground
And they realized what they had been seeing then
As they started to cry their tears filled the sky
And the black storm clouds gathered above

And then the heavens opened
And the rains came to show them
That their world needs a little more love

At the top of the world there's an island
A place where the sun never shines
But the people don't care because the snow over there
Is so bright, the sun's in their mind

you are far away
you are star gazing
you are engaged with the sky, he is your lover your body craves to
be coddled in star bright supernova a red dwarf he sings to you
sweet sounds at the speed of light
i am observant
i am patient, i see your energy expand as you are raised from
earth He calls for you and I listen - i am always listening -
as you fly above tops of trees and enter a realm somewhat
like the sea
i miss you but i have let you go
i know you have the answers to the questions that you ask
you are in love
& i want you to be happy
you are supposed to be happy
i am happy when i am star gazing
& i am happy when you are far away
because you are loved

its always
hard telling somebody
you love
goodbye.

we are pre-existing pieces of decayed particle mass
eroded bones and ***** tissue deteriorated in between
sediment layer and sand which was once
rocks and crust which will become dirt and dust
we are part of a cycle:
evolve, exist, decay, die, rebirth
isn’t it comforting to know that no matter who
you loose in the physical realm
you gain in the mountain range?
i am of the same consciousness and
compounds of our beloved earth
i am the exoskeleton of prehistoria-millennia  
of bodies cursed with
skin or hide, feathers or scales
my future can only come to fruition
if my past accepts it as a part of it
i can no easier deny myself as myself.
i must first accept myself and bits
and pieces of yesterday
not one individual, but a collective of
energy sources
i am an archive. i am a history book.
i am a geologist. i am space and i am time.
in its never-ending full arc continuum
my purpose in this life is to
accept myself only as a recycled
chain of elements
and i don’t mind sharing wavelengths
with continental crust
and i’ve already come to terms
with my brain becoming dust
and i fall asleep tonight with a happy
heart and mind.
knowing my place in life
and my impression throughout time.

We had dreams
about the crystal sun
the juniper wind, apple
blossoms and glowing evenings
comfort and quietude
We had dreams
lollipops and no one crying
no pain-and love if not
everlasting
solid and smiling every day
We had dreams
about great ships sailing
wind filling all speed ahead
never becalmed, no one dead,
no rotting bodies on the deck
no witness to inexplicable agony
We had dreams
garlands from gardens
nobody had to tend
ice cream cones piling
sidewalks high
shade for the asking
from every uncomfortable
ray of sun
water enough for everything
lawns and trees
flowers and livestock
children running in sprinklers
water for the taking
every day
We had dreams
soft conversations in
the lamplight, hands to hold
slim and strong whenever
we needed, voices filled
with understanding and strength
for every fear
and every tear dried
by gentle caring touch
We had dreams
that did not include random bullets
sudden death and no clouds
exploding to rain death
on helpless heads
We dreamed we would never be helpless
we had dreams
we bought on time
amortization forever
and no one would ever
have to pay the bills
We had dreams
someone would always save us
mother always did
even when she didn’t want to
even when we made her mad
even when we broke her china
and her heart
We had dreams
laughing and crying
talking into loud speakers
shouting our claims
and never thought how
to make them come true
We had dreams
of glory and taking
down every flag from every
highest hill
and no one would ever be found
face down in two inches of water
drowned on ***** and disaster
We had dreams
that did not include spit
on the sidewalk, in the gutters,
but only clean skies
and apple pie, organically sweet
every day
and endlessly billowing
wheat, and sailing ships
and all the pure water
we could drink for free
and play in
We had dreams
that we could demand pain away consequences
and guilt and the necessary play
of our dreams that mothers would
if we dreamed hard enough
and played hard enough
and the nasty old piper
never called for his fee
We had dreams
and when they didn’t come true
we had curses
We cursed the lollipops
we cursed the ice cream
we cursed the wheat
the cornucopia
the great sailing ships
and the sea
the mother
the sidewalks
the highest hills
and the trickling ditch
we cursed the livestock
and the stereos
the loudspeakers and the glory
and we cursed crying and apple pie
we cursed suffering and anguish
the pipers who demanded to be paid
the ones who paid and complained
about the mess we made
we cursed fine china plates
filled with hard-earned harvests
we cursed love and freedom
we cursed crystal sun
and shade.