“Do you cut because you want to die?”
I don't self harm because i want to die
I self harm because i want to feel
I self harm because i dont want to hurt so much on the inside
I self harm because i want to know that im still a person
I self harm because watching the blood run down my legs reminds me that im alive
I self harm because i want to know im not numb
I self harm because i want to feel something other than regret and worry
I self harm because when no one else is there for me that razor sharp blade always is
I self harm because watching my skin split into two makes me feel alive
I self harm not only because im suicidal
But because i need help
I self harm because I need help and dont know what words to say

alone once again
so alone it tends to hurt
why am i alone

my anxiety as like a little creature in the back of my head
sometimes i like them, but they make it hard to get out of bed
they make me expect the worst
like what if i suddenly burst
it makes it harder for me to try new things
it makes me have to hide my wings
it makes me overthink every little thing
i even overthink when putting on a ring
im scared if i try i will fall
if i do i know i will ball
this is why i no longer try
anxiety is why i want to die

im done with crying
im done with hurting
im done with trying
im done with fighting
im done
im not going to end it but im done with trying to make others happy that dont care nor try thats what im done with

why
thats a question i ask all day everyday
why was i brought here
why wasnt i enough
why cant i do it right
why cant i help others
why do i only make people mad
why do i even try
why would he lie to me
why
i ask over and over and i never get answered
and why is that?
because no one cares to answer
no one cares to help
no one cares for what i asked
no one cares. about me

i need someone to love me for me
i need someone to always be there for me
i need someone to care for me
i need someone to help me
i need someone to need me as much as i need them
i need someone that is happy with me
i need someone who is proud of me
i need what i cant have

falling in love is like standing on a stool with a noose around your neck hoping they dont pull the stool from under your feet