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i feel like the worst
that's why i act
like i'm the best
to hide the fear
inside my heart

i guess i understand
why people walk
i'd do the same
if i was
someone
else

i don't know
why i bother
being 'happy'
all it takes is
one song
one note
and i'm back
to square one

my heart is empty
despite all the love
inside of it
but i'll never give
all my love does
is cause damage

i feel stupid
maybe i am
i just, just
don't know
myself
© sinderella.
my sister is obsessed with her weight
tracing the curves of her hip to weight ratio
she is only thirteen years of age

my mother is a bottle of emotions
like fresh champagne when the cork pops
she is a broken woman

my grandmother is without money
still working because she lost her retirement recently
she will be seventy soon

I notice the women in my life
the insecurities they have,
real life problems of
almost being destitute
I wonder if this will be my role as a women
to be weak, to be obsessed, to be poor
in body and soul
I do not want this
weight
© Alexandrina

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