Whenever my eyes are closed I feel as though nothing else is around
I sink in through the hole of the white rabbit
No I'll never admit this to be a habit
There is no shame in finding a way to escape
Especially when not all the pieces can be fixed with tape
For the first time ever I have found bliss in my soul
For the first time ever I found the thoughts to make myself whole

I have sunk through the fields of sand
With nothing else to stick out then this pleading hand
I will not waive my white flag even in my final moment
Even as I dig this grave deeper and deeper beneath the ground
Locked away with no escape for even a sound
This subterranean trench beneath the earth
Has brought me to start questioning my worth

If nobody ever seems to come my way
If nobody ever seems to want to save the day
I will not fear the countdown to doom
I will not submit to the shroud of gloom
I have been here before I know I could do it again
I'll close my eyes and for the moment I pretend

For so long I have looked around and found so many seats to fill
The doctors have told me to take their little pill
To situate the demons restlessly residing on my mind
But I just don't want to end up that way
Not another over night hospital stay
For you to tell me how you know my thoughts better then me
I can find a way on my own and you will eventually see

That hour glass has never been a friend of mine
I've always seemed to face this struggle with time
Overwhelmed with the stress of seeking the sublime
Wondering just how much longer it may take

If nobody ever seems to come my way
If nobody ever seems to want to save the day
I will not fear the countdown to doom
I will not submit to the shroud of gloom
I have been here before I know I could do it again
I'll close my eyes and for the moment I pretend

In the final moment when all seems it will surly fail
From this coffin you'll take out every nail
I'll emerge from the cloud of smoke
A phoenix with words still left to be spoke

Right now I am not so sure that I really even know
The way that the surface may actually appear
The roads ahead may bend and break
Shifting me off of my course to parts unknown
For the time that I have I'll just sit back and try to enjoy this ride
Never really necessarily seeking a place to reside
Just living the moments trying to make the best of each situation

I have packed and locked away all of these emotional bags that I have
Taken the mental cobwebs right out of my mind
Left shattered little pieces of the past behind
Set out so desperately seeking the path to another life
Though at times the road may leave you feeling so alone
I know the truth, that there is always more room to be grown
I know the truth, that these roads can take you anywhere

At times I will admit I feel as though I have gone and lost my way
The fog settles and beguines to touch the ground
darkness falls and beguines to spread all around
Still with my will I will take this journey one step after another
Never letting go of hope with each new back slide
I'll light up the way with a box of matches and tank of gas
A line made of fire my demons could never pass

I have felt it from the time that I first set out
I've just never been the one to shout
I always find them crawling right at my back
Climbing out of the corners preparing for any chance of an attack
The second that I let my guard down
They will take me to the bottom left to drown
Set behind in a self destructive way
Honestly this is no place for me to play

I will not let it draw me back in
I would not even know where to beguine
I hold no resentment for the past
even though I'd love it if the moments would last
But there is no need to look back in shame
There is nowhere to place any of the blame
What a beautiful memory now that we have

I'll have expression painted across my face
It is not safe the ways that I think
Crossing off existence with the flutter of every blink
I have made this life what it has come to be
I am so sorry that sooner I could not see

Come and take a walk with me if you will
But I'll warn you I'll never stop at the sight of a hill
Some days there may be mountains to climb
I'll continue to make my way
Until I find my self at the highest reach of the sky
If I told you I don't feel the same faced with each task it would be a lie

You know I have seen the cause and result of your scars
Every chance I get I try to wash it all away with wishes on all the stars
I'll set myself on fire and shoot across the midnight sky
Just for a chance to bring back your hope
I swear I'd do everything that I can to become your shooting star
Though at times I may need to send myself to distances so far
To make it so much better whenever I bring myself back down to earth
Just know this everything that I do is a product of these thoughts of you

When I was left desolate and all alone
Feeling the feeling as hope begun to escape
Lost as darkness begun to drape
That is when I found exactly where I belong
Living my life manifesting the meanings between these lines of each song
The only place ever where I felt there could be no wrong
Weather I am alone or manage to make my way with you
I'll find a way to heights brand new
Never leaving you behind along the way
Ill always give you the choice to go or to stay

With bare hands worked to the bone
Brick by brick I'll find a way to construct this home
Four walls that will all come to meet
With a spirit that could never claim defeat
Filled or empty some way I'll just know exactly how
To go on about my days
But I'd be lying if I said you'd never cross my mind
You are the source my happiness can find

No matter what the world brings my way
As the years beguine to progress
And everything we remembers beguines to suddenly change
I'll make sure to keep a copy so you will never become somebody so strange
I simply could not ever dare to beguine to let you go
With all the stories and events we have come to know
I wouldn't or even couldn't turn my back on you
I'd do everything to lift you up off the ground
Even when my pride is nowhere to be found

I will fill this rocket with the richest of fuel
Aim it at the sky destination outer space
If it can not be found here I'll search every reach of that place
For the key to lock away the secrets of  Pandora's box
If I can not find it I'll break off all of the locks
Unleash this devastating state that I've been left in
Wondering when the end of the world would finally beguine

I cant even manage to stand up anymore
An outcast on the sides of the lines that you drew
Silenced with out a voice left to intervene
These thoughts I need to say may be viewed as so obscene
I only ever wanted to do what was best for you
Every vision I've ever dreamed was to bright you to a higher places
I want to take you beyond the expanse of the highest space

Come and take a walk with me if you will
But I'll warn you I'll never stop at the sight of a hill
Some days there may be mountains to climb
I'll continue to make my way
Until I find my self at the highest reach of the sky
If I told you I don't feel the same faced with each task it would be a lie
Just know never to be afraid to ask me for a hand
I'll always do everything to make sure you can stand

I have had so much time for these wounds to heal
Still that never changes the way that I seem to feel
Every time I am cursed with the bless-id sight of you
The scars that once where no longer even there
Beguine to surface to a wound brand new
Bludgeoned and broken down to the bone I beguine to bleed
You'd think by now my mind would have already cultivated that seed

I have found that I've become anchored to this past of mine
I am sure that if I managed to break free I could make it fine
If only there was a way that I could find to know
If you really ever wanted to let go

Yes I have heard all of the words that you have had coming out of your mouth
They still play in my mind like songs blaring on the radio
Often I find myself wondering if you still meant what you once said
It all keeps repeating over and over trapped inside of my head
Memory probably totally lost to you by now
You've moved on and found another life but I don't know how
Whenever you are still always wandering through my mind

I have begun to break free of this cocoon I wrapped myself in
The only way to move on Is to become something new
So I can find a way to forgive those lines that you drew
This transformation will surly be the way to set myself free
I look up and instantly fix my eyes upon the sun
Overwhelmed by the light I know I couldn't possibly be done
As the energy shines down and wraps itself around me within its warmth

I have found that I've become anchored to this past of mine
I am sure that if I managed to break free I could make it fine
If only there was a way that I could find to know
If you really ever wanted to let go

I set my destination for the farthest reaches of the sky
I've seen it so many times the spell that I was under
A dream that I had while I was in slumber
The ground began to escape from my feet
Suddenly I was surrounded by horizons of blue
Filled with fear of when I'd next meet the ground
Until I finally came to realize the destination for which I was bound

Revitalized and ready to go
Like no time other that I have ever faced before
I feel there is no need to even settle the score
As once again and for real
I have found a way to beguine to feel

I finally have found a way to break free from this cage I put myself in
As the ground finally takes part with my feet
I can feel myself rising up in the air
But this time I feel no beware
Of the consequences of colliding with the ground
I'll be making my way out of this town
I find myself escaping to a whole new height
Oh what a view from this risen sight
looking down and watching over it all
I'll be ready to let go if I ever fall

I can't believe it has already been a year
I still cant seem to shake the fear
As I find this house is no home
When you have left me here alone
Sure enough I put my own back against the wall
Expecting to hear your footsteps down the hall

I have felt the pressure of that gun in my hand
The weight can bring you to your knees failing to stand
As faster the light life flashes before your eyes
A recollection that brought me to realize
Exactly next where I must go
As I set that gun on the floor
I'll be headed straight out that door

I've already soaked everything in gasoline
When I spark the match there is no looking back at the scene
There is no need for possession as I beguine to leave
It only brings memories that will come to deceive

And I can't find myself ending up back here again
It is something I can't promise I'll survive
I'll always feel this way so long as I'm still alive
But it eats away at me from the inside
Trying so desperately for these feelings to hide

I've felt the knife you've been hiding right at my throat
Honestly you would not even need a scapegoat
They will probably think I did this to myself
So hang your alibi high up on a shelf
I'll even hold your hand
I'll guide your blade on my own
Because I could never escape the labyrinth of this heart
I always cut myself short when we're apart

I have spent up my time to spend here
I have made my way through the thicket of each year
And I find myself seeking out so much more
As I envision the beauty of a foreign shore
Maybe a dream I could never reach

At times I find myself in the lowest of this place
Dwelling deeper into the dark
Praying for the light to ark
To guide me to a path that leads from this town
I'll fight it to make sure I'm never the one to go down
Into the heart of the flames

I'll stand up and be the first to start every fire
As I ignite the signal to the revolution
I've thought so long and hard to the only solution
You have turned this home into a hell

I contemplate leaving it all behind
Then suddenly I am flooded with remission
Reminded memory of my main mission
It has been demanded what I must do
But I don't have the strength to do that to you
There must be something so much better out there then me
I just hope that you will come to find and eventually see

Finally I'll make my way and take to the sky
Because frankly I'm just tired of living in this lie
With so many words I've left unspoken
I can't help but be left feeling broken
With out a voice I do not know how
To be the one to relay my vow
I have done everything in my power that I can

I have come to see a great deal of things by now
Through my experience there still are many things I do not know how
But I have never let that keep me from my ways
I'll burn my worries away within a cloudy haze
Because through the thick of it all
I still keep finding myself right where I left off
Encumbered motionless entranced by your spell binding abductive power
You know exactly how I'd take your hand through your darkest hour

I still don't know if I was ever any good for you in the past
But the seasons bring weathered changes to us all
We can only choose if we stand or if we fall

I've become something so different from what I was back then
No I am not bitter being just a friend
But there is a part of me holding on to the pieces of the past
I feel like together now I know we would last

There is nobody ever I could put before you
When we are around there is nothing else I'd rather do
I have put everything of mine right on the line
Just to bring a smile to your teary eyed face
I even risk playing the fool and becoming another disgrace
Oh how I must be a fool falling for this love again
knowing better the love you do not send

I still don't know if I was ever any good for you in the past
But the seasons bring weathered changes to us all
We can only choose if we stand or if we fall

I've become something so different from what I was back then
No I am not bitter being just a friend
But there is a part of me holding on to the pieces of the past
I feel like together now I know we would last

I could never blame you if you ever went on your own way
No matter how much I'd love to beg you I could never force you to stay
But I can not shake these feelings for you right now
The way I wound up in this place I do not know how
You are the only variable I can find to fit in my life
I truly believe together we could finally end all of our strife
You have always been my best friend who could be so much more
You have always been the one that I choose to adore

I still don't know if I was ever any good for you in the past
But the seasons bring weathered changes to us all
We can only choose if we stand or if we fall

I've become something so different from what I was back then
No I am not bitter being just a friend
But there is a part of me holding on to the pieces of the past
I feel like together now I know we would last

There is nothing you could ever do that I would not forgive
There is nothing I would ever intend to destroy your happy thoughts
I'd piece together paradise for you wit my bare hands
So long as I do not reach exile for foreign lands
I would do every thing within my power through my darkest hour
Just to lift you up for a chance to touch the sky
I'll lay in the shadows imagining what it'd be like to fly
Freeing myself of envy just at the gimps of your smile
This is a state I see lasting a while
As I find myself dedicating this life to you