sometimes
you have to do things
you don't want to do
because those things are necessary.

tonight im going to tell him
that we need to honestly act like
just friends.

We need to do this
so i don't get hurt in the end.
when we are at different colleges
and find other people.

i have to get over you
before that
because being away from you
will only cause me
to create you into someone
you are not.

this will be hard for me because
every fiber of my being
wants to kiss you.

i just pray
that i can get the words out tonight
and that its the right thing to do.

Im too young
to feel this broken
Too young
to be in love
I was heart broken once
and i vowed to never be again
i waited awhile
then you came along
you showed an interest
and i was optimistic
i said "ill give it a shot"
"Ill be careful"
"i won't get hurt"
i fell
too hard, and too fast
you left me emphatically heartbroken
i vowed this would never happen again
i broke that vow
but this time
i'm serious.

"You will fall in love with the sweet guy, fall into bed with bad boy and try to figure out why you do not like the nice guy every time."

Fill in the blank:  ____ scares me.

truth is
i don't really have a choice
in whether or not i fall for you.

Yes, I have trust issues.
No, Im not ashamed to say it.
Of course I have trust issues!
What did you expect?
My last boyfriend lied
about everything
from truly liking me
to smoking ****.
so don't blame me for being skeptical
when you say you love me.
I can't help but doubt you.

Sometimes i wish i was really ugly
so guys wouldn't like me for my body
so they wouldn't pretend to like me for their own selfish pleasures

He told me he liked me because i was hot
i should have ran away then
it would've saved me a lot of trouble.

Sometimes i wish i was blind
so i could see a person for who they really are
not for their physical appearance
so i could fall in love with their mind and not their body

He was so attractive
i couldn't help myself
the only thing between us
was lust and infatuation
which eventually faded.

if i was ugly and blind
lust would not exist
only love.

So many things going on in one house.
On one side,
here I am crying over
an invisible broken heart.
On the other side,
there is my sister happily in love,
facetiming with her soon to be fiance.
Then on different floors,
there is my parents.
Once madly in love,
now they don't even sleep in the same bed.
My dad is downstairs because he snores.
My mom is upstairs with earplugs in.
Its crazy how many stories are under one roof.

You go back and forth
like a teeter totter
one day you kiss me
the next day you fist bump me

On those days
when I think you like me
I'm high above
exempt from gravity
but then you treat me
like a friend
I guess I'll always
have one foot in reality

trapped again
in the mystery of
unrequited love

usually it ends
but this one will be life long

I will constantly be
torn between moving on
and clinging to you even harder

There is something about you
that makes me want to stay
but its not a mutual feeling
I'm just another friend
who got too close
and who looks good naked.

You make me have my own opinions
You make me be strong
You treat me better
than any ex-lover
which is why it kills me
when you say friends forever?

You make me so sad
You make me so happy
You make me so mad
No one has made me feel all of these things
at the same time,
before breaking my heart.

I built my walls up
so high above the ground.
I was determined to keep you out.
But there was another divine plan at work.
I slowly took down my barriers
and you broke in.

Whether it was intentional
or with purpose
it worked.
I just wish we were on the same page

You could've fooled me
when you asked me to be your girlfriend
then took it back the next day.
You could've fooled me
when you told me we'd never drift
because now i feel distant.
You could've fooled me
when you said it meant something
when we had ***.
You could've fooled me
when you didn't throw yourself
at your ex.
You could've fooled me
when you didn't beg college girls
to have ***.

I thought there was something between us
but lately it seems a lot like less.

I don't know how to unlove you.

its hard loving you from a distance

what do you do
if you're in love with someone
who is all wrong for you?

It says a lot about you
If you can pretend to be a nice guy
And use such a sweet girl who has the best intentions
And If you can corrupt an innocent girl and not feel guilty.

You're an *******, I hope you know that.

Maybe you think it is normal to get a girl and use her for your own ****** pleasures, and not think twice about what she feels.

Most of your **** is shoved into your personality.

My worst fear is being used and you did just that without thinking twice.
I can honestly say I hate you.

I hope you learn how to treat a woman in the future and that your relationships work out well.
Because you don't want to know what it feels like to be lied to and used, you ******* idiot.

No matter how prepared I was,
my heart still shattered when you said those words.

I don't want to go the rest of my life wondering what would've happened if I was brave enough to love you.
What if by following my head, I've just shut you out of my heart because I'm afraid?
What if love is enough?
How will I know if I never try?
What if I give you my heart and you make me happy?
Even if it's just for a little while, I think it might be worth it.
You make my heart ache in a good way and that has to mean something, right?
What if we tried instead of giving up because "it's for the best"?
What would happen if we followed our hearts this time?

Does anyone actually know what love is?
or what the difference between loving someone
and being in love with them?

"Love is all you need"

What do you do when the love dries up?
What do you do when the love is all gone?
What now?

I see you and
my heart drops
my mind stops
my soul jumps
our souls bump.

True love is like lightening.
You may see it often,
but its rare to catch.

When you do catch it,
it strikes your heart.
It leaves you in shock
and feeling dead in the center of your soul.

You fell asleep thinking of me
and woke up thinking of her.

Who are you
when no one is looking?

Who are you
behind closed doors?

is it different
than when you're in public?

If it is, ask yourself why.

Are you putting up a front
Just to be accepted
Just to fit in

If so,
you will lose who you truly are.
and who you are
is the most important thing in this world

don't ever lose it
because you are extraordinary.

my eyes are tired
my hair a mess
and yet each morning
i wake excited for my life with you.

Standing there
arms high
and heart abandoned.
Completely surrendering your soul.
Crying out for the Lord.
In awe of all He's done.
Tears in your eyes.
Chills down your spine.
Singing out to the One who deserves it.

Worshiping the one true King
with all your heart.

Write because...

your thoughts
                                are more precious
                                than the finest golds.
your imagination
                                is more vivid than
                                your most treasured
                                childhood memory.
your creativity
                                is more boundless
                                than the ends of
                                the earth.
your opinions
                                are more valued
                                than you may think.
your feelings
                                are more valid
                                than you've been told.

And most importantly write because...
                        W  o  r  d  s     a  r  e    p  o  w  e  r  f  u  l.

*"Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts." -Patrick Rothfuss

you
are stupid
you
are beautiful
you
are so impossible
yet you
are so lovable

ya know
when you first went back to her after you told me I wasn't "your type",
I questioned everything.
I questioned our love.
I couldn't possibly comprehend how it was possible for you to actually love me and then get over me so quickly.
So I knew it must have been a lie, you must have used me.
You said to me one time "You can't tell if you're being used or not?"
I honestly could not tell.
Used was all I have ever known and even that seemed to be real.
You told me many times that you weren't using me and I eventually believed you.
But then you told me you loved me and I told you I loved you too.
we agreed being together wasn't in our best interest so we decided to be friends.
You went back to your ex and it killed me so badly.
The only possible explanation was that you used me.
This conflicted me for months.
Then one night we were on the phone and I started crying.
I never told you why but somehow you knew
you always know.
You reassured me that it was real, that you meant everything.
And from that moment on, I felt a peace in my heart.
Knowing that it was real but is over is better than not knowing if the person you loved is heartless.

You kiss me in such a way
that i can tell that your souls has been searching for mine
for centuries.

You kiss me in such a way
that I feel every ounce of passion
in each little embrace.

You kiss me in such a way
that pulling away from your lips
makes my heart ache for more.

when you touched me
even the slightest trace of your hand on my arm
something was happening deep in my core
your simple embrace illuminated my heart
i had the tingling sensation of love
i would give anything to feel your heart on mine
i crave your touch
i became addicted to the feeling you gave me
only then did i feel connected to you

You are like a breath of fresh air.
Being away from you feels like I cant breathe,
and then when i see you, when i finally hold you again,
I feel my lungs start to inflate again.
But when I am with you, and i remember,
I  start to suffocate.
It's like there is a plastic bag over my head
and toxic fumes are filling my lungs
and I keep gasping for air
but I start to turn blue
because loving you hurts.

I don't think you know what its like to actually miss someone
you used to say you missed me after a day without seeing me
I didn't miss you then, but i did want to be with you

Now its been 120 days and you don't miss me at all
i miss you more than ever and it breaks my heart

you were my drug and i was addicted
i know my addiction only lasted 1 month and 19 days
but i had the craziest high with you
in those 50 days
you gave me memories to last a life time

its been 2880 hours since my last high
i have never craved something so much in my life
like your love
you have me sitting here thinking about you
17 weeks later
you haven't even done anything to make me crazy about you

if i was ever actually addicted to drugs
i would never detox
i would constantly crave it and would eventually give in
it would drive me crazy like you drive me crazy
i cant get the taste of your lips off my mind
i need you

we used to joke around
and i said you were my sustenance
you said i was too
but i wasn't kidding
you became an important part of my life

i can live without you
but i don't want to
you make me so happy
and you challenged me to think about who i really was

i do admit that i didn't like who i was with you
but i think thats why i miss you so much
because you gave me a rush and made me live
i did things with you that i never in a thousand years wouldve imagined doing
we went on wild adventures
i was always living on the edge with you
worrying about getting caught
thats why it was so exciting

i became addicted to that feeling
now i'm back to my old boring life
i miss the old days
but i need to move on

i think i will stop craving your affection soon
if not tomorrow
then the next day
ill keep telling myself this until its true

don't worry about how i am
because i know you don't care

and when you find yourself missing me in the middle of the night
call me
and i won't answer

i will no longer give in to my addictions

you will never know the real me
never figure out what makes me tick
never know what i dream of when i stare out the window
you will never know
i gave you a chance but you are too emotionally detached to want to know
you will never know what i'm thinking
never know why i love the sunrise from an airplane
this goes both ways
i will never know your motives
i will never know what you saw in me
i will never know why you put all these walls up
i will never know why you think fire is so beautiful
i will never know why you aren't close to your family
i will never know why you are so shallow
i guess its better to not know than to get hurt trying

I feel so invisible to you.
You tell me what kind of woman you are looking for
and all i can think is "I am all those things"
but you will never see me like that
and it kills me
to know that I love you beyond measure
and you love her even further.