Words can't describe the burning passion inside
yearning to come alive
feel like a bag full of sh¡t on some man's porch
left there to be slipped into the trash.

I can't take this anymore,
ready to pull the line, can I call a friend
to help me finish the rhyme?
please sir, I need another life-line
running out of time.

I see it
can't reach it
but almost there
fall out of my chair
get up, gotta keep goin
trip over a book
get even closer
can't give up now
just about there
I got it, i gots
my chapstick.

I love you because**...
There is more than one layer to you.
You have feelings.
You tell me the truth, even if it hurts.
You try to make me stronger.
You treat me like I am better than I really am.
You reassured me when I was in doubt.
You are nerdy.
You have problems.
You take care of me.
I want to take care of you too.
You make time for me.
You want to spend time with me.
You believe there is more to me than my shyness may mislead.
You trust me.
You call me in the middle of the night to tell me about your nightmares.
You're not sappy all the time.
You are my best friend.
and this is why I love you.

My mom keeps asking if
he and I have had a "falling out".
I keep saying no,
but somehow she always knows what's going on.
I was getting defensive,
and she asked if he tried to get fresh with me.
I said no,
thinking "he already tried that, and succeeded"

I never really thought "getting fresh" was a problem.
Today's society revolves around that.
Girls are taught that if a guy wants to touch your **** or *****,
you should let him,
but only after you've made him beg for a bit.

It's sad, really.
My mom asked me this
because she thought I had enough decency
not to "get fresh" with him.
But little does she know,
this society shaped me into someone I don't like
because she never tried to teach me how to be respectable.
Don't get me wrong,
my mother is a great mom who wants the best for me
and she is respected by my father.
You would think that I would
use their relationship as an example
but I guess I didn't.
I've done disreputable, immoral
things with him.
And I never thought twice about it.
I knew the first time I did those things,
that it wasn't right,
but I couldn't stop.
And then when I did them with him,
outside of a commitment,
I knew it was wrong
but I didn't care.
I was so numb
and used to it
that I didn't care enough about myself
to stop.

So,
Sorry mom.
I am not a little angel
and I am not your little girl.
The devil has been in control of me
and I liked it.
But I know better,
so Im changing who I am.
Im going to be more respectful to my body.
I am not going to let others sweet talk me into their beds,
or mine for that matter.

So many things going on in one house.
On one side,
here I am crying over
an invisible broken heart.
On the other side,
there is my sister happily in love,
facetiming with her soon to be fiance.
Then on different floors,
there is my parents.
Once madly in love,
now they don't even sleep in the same bed.
My dad is downstairs because he snores.
My mom is upstairs with earplugs in.
Its crazy how many stories are under one roof.

Im tired of crying in my bed in the middle of the night
I want to find love, and I want everything to be alright.

Homeschooled boy
Tall, blonde
with acne,
holding a lunch pale.
He gives you that
mesmerizing,
innocent,
sweet smile
as you pass in the hallway.
He makes you blush.
He makes you feel special.
never fall for someone like this
They aren't what they seem.

They aren't innocent,
AT ALL.
All they want from a sweet,
Christian girl
is ***.
All he wanted was to tell his friends
what he did with me.
He didn't care about me.
He just cared about his image.

He was the new, homeschooled kid
and he wanted to fit in.
Oh but he fit in just fine.
He smoked ****.

Little did I know,
because he lied to me
about everything.

In the beginning,
he told me he was an honest person.
Of course I believed him
because I want to see the good in people.
He also asked if I was honest,
I said yes because that was the truth.

One month later,
I found out the truth.
At first I didn't want to believe it,
but he played me.

He lied to me
about who he was,
what he did,
and who he told about us.

This absolutely crushed me.
He was my first boyfriend.
He was just an innocent,
lunch pale-carrying,
boy, right?
all wrong.

I wish I saw the red flags
and never committed to a relationship.
He broke me just as fast as he got me.
and i will never trust again.