her small greasy hands
search through your hair

groping for a look
she’s seen on tv

that rotten acorn mess
I loved to tangle

across your eyes
always far off somewhere

she looks like the girl I thought you wanted to be with
my friends say she looks like me

I bet she tells you stories
about girls she's slept with

I bet you read her
my poems and laugh

the two of you
surrounded by clothing and smoke.

moving my stuff
into a pile
in the corner

Black eyed Susan lived on my street
She wandered the night with nothing on her feet
She never told me a thing
Just sat 'neath my window to hear me sing
Beauty she was with those ******* eyes
Susan would dance to my song with fireflies
I kind of loved her
Yes, I think I did
Watching her prance like a little kid
She held her head with pride
And looked up at me
And through those ******* eyes
Susan couldn't see

I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be alive.

I’ve forgotten what it feels like to lie to you.

We’ve walked so many miles,

only to find the same people.

I force these words.

I hate these words.

I can’t live without these words.

I dare myself to live without you.
My studio’s quiet and dull.
I pretend you’re already dead.
I’m being such a selfish *****.

I created you
Pushed you to this
And I need to understand
Why just when you reached the world
You let go of my hand
I think of you
When I know I shouldn’t
I could say that you're nothing
But I wouldn’t
My mind tells me
What my heart should know
And each time I see you
I try not to let it show
But if it was going to end like this
Then why did it start
Because you're going on  
And I’m falling apart

I’m going to meet Elston
Down the street
At a place no longer there
To talk about why I can’t forget you
He told me to write it all down
It’s supposed to bring some light
Elston believes only in the things he reads
He’s said to have never come from the heart
But I trust him with my past so I lift my pen
He knows the one I’m with now
They play chess every so often
As my pen runs across the page
He thinks about his next move
And the girl that got away

I fell down on my knees
And begged him to stay
Filling my mouth
He asked me to say
Please
Hating the way it felt
He slithered under my belt

All the men inside
Punishing and warning and making me
All my men inside
Tiny, frozen people I’ll never let you see

I went down bearing arms
He dug in his heels
And I fell for his charms
I cringe at the scene
I hate him again
Begging and sweating and being my friend

All the men inside
Punishing and ******* and stripping me
All the men inside
Tiny, frozen people I’ll never let you see