I tossed and turned all night through
     I slept not but dreamt of you.
I was pretty, my hair was messy
     You wanted me and your mother knew.

Rolling and rolling over and either
You stayed with me
But made me a liar.

I awoke from my awakened state
     To find my pain all the same.
You are broken, dear
     And I am not to blame.

LAST NIGHT I DREAMT
SOMEBODY LOVED ME
TO WAKE AND FIND
THOSE DAYDREAMS, TOO.

I FIND HIM LOVELY
BUT SHIELDED IS HE
AND SO I DREAM
AND DREAMT OF YOU.

There is more that I want to tell you than I have time to say.
Skeletons fill my closet,
That's why I can't stay.
They turned me into the monster I despise today.
~
Is it even worth it to contemplate why
I'm the person I am yet am unable to cry?
As a burden to you as well as myself
When you care for my well-being because i can't.
I forced your attempts of support right past me,
Along with your attempts at empathy.
I closed myself off from you.
So I think it's time for me to go
If just to ease your life,
But to where I do not know.
I hope I'll figure it out before it's too late.
~
One less source of stress.
One less hopeless mess.
I'll leave no trace,
As if I never was there.
Not a poster on my wall.
Not even a pen in a door.
As good as death in your eyes,
But wherever i go
I'll be gone from your life.
So try to remember my good side.
Try to disregard my occasional reprehensibility,
My selfishness and my lies.
~
Those bricks I laid upon your shoulders,
Please toss them to the ground.
Hear the smash as your memory of me drowns.
Walk away from my shattered body,
Erase the pieces from your mind.
~
But keep my heart
And you'll still see me when you dream.

What's the point?
Enjoy the ride?
Smoke a joint.
Now go and hide

Wait it out
You're just paranoid
Let out a shout
Just to fill the void

Feelings of emptiness
It's all in your head?
Inhumane levels of stress
Just go to bed

Nighttime rolls swiftly back again like an old familiar sin haunting the days end
Motivation creeps in, empty shoes ask where ya been to my bare footed skin
Worn down socks lay on the floor halfway out the door as if they couldn't take anymore
Life"s a bore if you know what"s in store, but if no one"s keeping score, then what"s it all for?

No matter how many times I made her ecstatically moan
No matter how many shots I made while in the zone
No matter how many things I"ve learned then shown
Just please always let the battle be forever known
That in the end we will all transcend again...alone

the first time you smiled the world went weak at the knees
the first time the sun saw you it blushed and the winter snow melted
the first time you said i love you i knew i was in trouble
the last time we talked you said it wasnt permanent
the last time you walked out the door the clouds came
they havent left
i dont think they will
you are the whim of the willing and the only true assassin