Nature, nature, dear sleek, bland nature;
Thou art the very love I seek,
The very art when my soil's weak,
The lifeless grass that clearly speaks,

Nature, nature, my feverish, sweet bland pasture;
Look at but the greasy grass around thee,
And take a glimpse of the soul in me,
Console my tears through my poetry,

Nature, nature, the witness of joys and sorrows;
With thou gone, life matters no more,
All shalt be dead like ever before,
Dead before the sight of lonely hours,

Nature, nature, my sweet grand nature;
This idyll, like my undying past love,
More promising than the Unseen above,
A love and a hate, a tear and a smile,
Whose charms made me giggle for a while,

Nature, nature, canst but thou see the poet in me;
Buried deep down in my febrile sanctuary;
A silent place my love shan't ever know;
A delight only to me, and my wordless tomorrow.

Nature, nature, I am dying in my delirium;
Looks like I'm daydreaming again,
That the whole world is but a small poem,
That looms and grows over today's rain.

Nature, nature, but that's the daydreams of a poet;
That the world's skin is covered in soot,
And so is its arrogant roots,
That once severed and soaked my foot.

And so I hate it with all might;
Long for it to fly off my sight;
During the tremblings of the nights;
And the fury of our tight winds.

Oh nature, once my sweet old friend;
I hath lost my conscience again,
And thou, once handed to me a blanket,
Ah, that doth thou remembereth?

Nature, nature, my darling old candle;
Who awoke me with handfuls of sweet kisses;
But hath now died and is not smiling again;
A rival that was ostentatiously a friend.

Nature, nature, my ceremonious old light;
Thou shalt steal me at the end of the night;
There is a shade behind the fruits of yon twilight;
Thou shalt hide there, and astound me with fright.

Nature, nature, words and blandishments down the line;
This diabolical and conscious soul of mine,
I hath been lifted into a turbulent state,
Where all is unfair and against such fate.

Nature, nature, beyond thee I cannot see;
Beyond whose all seems brown and futile;
Despite their tremendous originality;
All is bland to such physical rigidity;

Nature, nature, ah, why all tranquil hath gone;
I travel in agony by myself alone,
I, a poet, in whose heart are scars,
From parting with my love's nuptial stars,

And on whose departure, nothing was to stay genial;
At whose goodbyes I couldst not stand cordial;
Him, whose laughter had been kind pleasantry,
And poetry, whom I'd wanted to wander here with me.

Nature, nature, in t'is whose bloodied sight I set off alone;
By my ears playing a deformed old song;
Into the world my poet's soul shan't ever be married;
To whose souls I'm just a myth, a wicked soul intoxicated;

Nature, nature, to whom I am just a pile of debris;
That be torn by one easy leap,
A breathless snap and clouded mutiny,
And none be left, of me and my poor poems.

Nature, nature, beyond these waning northern gales;
Still there is no more than the pale,
Perhaps our past is like those of untold tales,
Like that of Wayne, a dear from cold Wales.

Nature, nature, but I shall be back;
A ship journey's awaiting me by the red sack,
And I shan't be prone to their hatred,
I shan't be deterred, nor get hurt,

Nature, nature, these storms grow insolent outside;
Mocking my indolent soul and black hair;
Streaming down my warm yellow skin;
Surging up my generous pink spleen;

Nature, nature, and the suns shield me no more;
'Tis the cold and white that matter,
Not even an umbrella for my frost,
All of us here are shattered and lost,

Nature, nature, I am roaming like a foul ghost;
With all the dirt of humanity on my face,
And all their sins I hath vastly borne,
But they are gone, and I screech in cold, alone,

Ah, nature, and now that thou hath deleted me too;
Like a pianist rejected by his own songs,
Which he hath, and hath been doing for long,
With a violin that knows not what true fame looks like;

Nature, nature, it loves only those insincere;
Who are too hard and dark on their own hearts;
With congested hate loathed by calm scripture;
A music that they shan't notably dance.

Nature, nature, and listen to once more;
All is dark and I hath only thee have left,
I am suffered by t'is sleepless haze,
Entranced only by whose sightless grace,

But ah, if thou hath disgraced me too;
If to thee that no inspiration a poet canst give,
I may divorce thee and soon shall leave;
I shalt again embrace my long-lost oppositions;

For I shalt be hurt should thou disgrace me too;
Like a long corpse plainly dismembered,
Like a painting whose colours hath waned,
Like a spirit that hath fainted;

Like a touch of grey, bitter oblivion;
Like an angry pompous heart and vision;
Like a severely wounded wisdom;
Like a battered rainbow in its gloom;

And after dusk I shalt emerge again;
With a vain anger, as cruel as crystals;
Being reborn as an immortal star;
I shalt tear thee and thy hearts apart;

Ah, nature, and with the whole world too fishy and foul;
Where but I seek to find the poet of my soul,
And as all embrace turns to grow cold,
Whilst dawn is the hate of my enemy,

Nature, nature, and with a plain laughter so clear,
Still they speak of me with hate;
Like thou wert once unjust to me,
Unlike the very God I could see,

Nature, nature, once my friend nature;
Thou too loathe me for evermore,
For I must go, and calm my self alone,
Treat my ill by the summer's murdered song.

I'll wait for thee by th' red bricks;
I'll wait for thee to cite and speak;
To recite me a poem by th' lake;
To swing by me by th' games of fate;

I'll wait for thee by th' blue moon;
To speak love and fill my heart soon;
Whenst all hath not'ing else but lust;
T'is passion be th' one t'at lasts;

Yet 'till th' blow of my last breath,
T'is love is hate--and life is evil;
'Till all's alive and hath no death;
Thou stay untold and knoweth not to feel;

Thou art th' piece of an old song;
Singing and sobbing all day long;
I am absorbed in thy cold charms;
Within th' light warmth of thy arms;

Thou art a pale piece of poetry;
Sitting and mumbling here with me;
Hearing my heartbeat grow faster;
Thou hath th' heat and cold of summer;

Thou art th' dark line of a poem;
Bursting into my tears and gloom;
Enduring dusk and plain nightfalls;
By th' morning ended it all;

How if I've sought thee all along;
For we hath none to suffer with;
With a loving heart wild and young;
Waning through summer's bland sweet song;

How if I feed thee to my past;
A bleak moment o'r lives should hate;
A moment I have left in haste;
A torture to o'r craving hearts;

How if I feed thee to my chest;
In whose layers thou shalt find rest;
From East to th' end of th' West;
My love is at its very best.

I've dreamt of a day and night I'll meet thee again;
By th' immortal moon and his starry friends;
Sweet like t'ese very days of our loving youth;
Shy like th' songs of thy Eolian lute;

I've dreamt of a day and night by a far bridge;
A place just for th' pious, serious and th' rich;
A place where my heart shalt but love again;
A place where all t'ese dreams may make sense;

I've dreamt of a day and night by thy side;
A dream t'at sees through me bare and wide;
T'at a poet like me should go craft and write;
By my fiercest sense, through th' day and night.

I've dreamt of a day where there'll be rain;
T'at a touch of thine shalt make me insane;
T'at walking away shalt but seem too insidious;
Within a curious dream so fast and luminous.

I've dreamt of a night where all is fantasy;
T'at reality shan't again make us come back;
T'at all sadness' dead as it should be;
T'at tears of joys are all t'ere is to take;

I've dreamt of a day thou shalt stand by me;
Seeing me through words, poems, and memory;
T'at thy hands shall be th' only I long to hold;
So far God canst see; so far eyes canst behold.

Silence.
Silence, quietness, numbness.
A rage that feels like nothingness.
A scream when all is mute, a muteness.
A looseness of all senses.
An emotion that has no motion.
And cry, cry, my heart--but even the moon shall not listen;
Today there is poetry, but no love and no great lesson.

All was numb when you stepped away from me;
Soon as you drove and faded away like thunder;
Like a beauty that no kind hearts could see.
There was, to the earth, more than rain and water;
There were feelings that were not felt;
There were hands that were too cold.
And no-one, but He, could take hold of our fate;
A darling story that was left told and untold.
All was numb like it is today, unspoken and bare;
This dribbling water feels burly to my hair;
But with drops as tasty as charcoal salt;
A tearful slide that sets alight my heart.
I shall leave your shadow now, in and between,
My greasy hearts that are now to you unseen.
Why do you hate, and why do you hate me?
We hate each other like lilies and daffodils;
With fright and pain and weariness none can see;
With frost and ice and hatred one cannot heal.
And a winter, more silent than ours, is coming;
While we are still shrouded by our feud, madness and betrayal;
With no sing along, no phrase, nor verbs as mortal beings;
We are ****** by our cohorts, in our own worldly upheaval.
And I condemn, condemn your opaque shadow;
Toss them away from me, to the vanishing window.
I felt the world was tumbling and falling yesterday;
Vanished cries and sorrows are real to me today.

And who said you would be buried in my hair;
With your visage stumbled across my face;
For who are you, so that I ought to care;
Who are you, who hath so praised another lass.
You who cannot taste mirth and what love is;
You who bask in tears and curse a daydream's bliss.
You better forget today's and tomorrow's breath;
You should dream there, that now life too is death.
You who killed my sanity, and took my mortal love;
You who burnt me before, and left with a cheeky laugh;
And I, my soul once so steadfast as thine was;
I, in whose words thou once swam and slept fast;
Thou, who rode away by the timid morning;
Thou, who did not even hear my voice crying.
The moving waters, my tears, at their priestlike task;
Drying and dying not until the coming of dusk;
Soaking my lungs and veins and spines all wet;
A scrap of wound I knew I'd never forget.

Lies come in at the mouth and love in at the eye;
Let's now confess the truth before we all shall die;
You, then in her splendour made triple affairs;
And in her triumph kissed her hair;
And within my sight cupped her cheeks;
Saying her skin was white, sweet, and sleek.
She was a majestic sight, like the moon, to thee;
She was pretty and there was only her then, not me.

Summer was coming, summer was coming;
All birds were singing, all trees were growing;
I watered every day my fat cucumbers;
I watched them at night, beneath rolling thunders;
I ate strawberries at dawn and on afternoons;
I counted the days, that flew about too soon.
I played the piano and enjoyed my flawless old music;
It relaxed my mind every day of the week.
But you were with her then, all day and night;
What she said to you indeed, was always right.

You kissed her again and put her to rest;
You wanted her to have the very best;
You destroyed me in life and in poetry;
You tore me like a ghost no-one want'd to see.

And all was left was as sound as silence;
A silence that want'd me, and want'd to listen.
Silence, silence, silence, such silence was my past friend;
A silence that hunts and prowls over me all over again;
Ah, but my gratitude is adequate, to this darling silence;
A silence so friendly that none who hears shall mourn;
A silence so sublime, more than the silence itself--nor its sound;
A silence that makes a gone and swirls me round and round.
Ah, a lunatic poesy, a silence is--that only a poet could see;
A poet too mystical that ordinary beauties neglect.
But poetry, poetry, is there always for me,
With all its charm and sheer beauty and respect;
That all I want by poetry is eyes that can see;
Lungs that can breathe, and ears that can hear;
For poetry sees what nobody can bear to see;
Amends every broken heart, calms those who fear.

Ah, and though t'is silence is the only friend I have;
Clouds are awake and God is not deaf;
And smile, smile again, dear reader, like my darling rain;
Who is tired not of falling, jumping and ******* and making friends.

And all was left was as sound as silence;
A silence that prays, a silence that heals.
A silence that makes us all so real;
A silence that can feel, or make us feel.
Ah, silence, in such a world where the bravest canst not see;
Thou art there still, waitin' for th' chance again, t' be with me.

T'is cold outside, and I am caught in loneliness again;
I am not with you; nor you are with me,
But this lyrical poem is not about my pain;
For I know, you'll never want to be with me.

I cannot hear you like I did before;
I cannot feel you like I did last summer.
I cannot hold the scarf you always wore;
I cannot play the song we used to sing together.

I have a troubled, troubled consciousness;
Remorse has taken me and my happiness;
My verses dither and change and alter again;
I write and giggle and sob, all in pain.

Where is my dear, my venerable darling,
When I'd be satiated by his words;
Where is my love, my flimsy little bird;
When I stand alone in such bald worlds;

Like an old tree jolted by fires and winds;
Like a red rain halted by worried skies;
I speaketh worldlessly to my naked curtains;
When I dream of death and a sweet last breath;

Like a round life wasted by its bare soul;
Who in its death frets once and again;
But in whose flights screams and laments;
The missing bits are not to be found.

I have no more love left in my heart; even if I do, I cannot and shall not want to feel it, nonetheless. I do not wish to love anyone else, either, because what I have learned shows me that loving someone could only lead to heartbreaking. My heart seems dead now, despite its warm beats; for neither love nor hate fills it. It is numb, it is no longer sore in its wounded state. But that is not the reason why I let it be that way. I want it 'dead' because I do not want to ruin it any more, by this ruthless little thing called 'love.' Love equals hatred to me now, love is unholy, love is ungodly; love is not love. There is no real love in this world; all love is ugly, despicable, deceitful. Thus I want to stay away from love. I want to make my fractured heart alive again. I want to keep the wholeness of it safe. I want to have my rights back to it; I want it to shine and smile and wrap me softly like it did before. I want it to live and breathe again; and beat again for myself and myself only, this time. I want nobody--no male in particular--to tear it away once more. It was once destroyed by betrayal and denials, and so I do not want such dire business to come and ruin it all over again. I want to keep my heart sacred. I want to keep it only for God. For Him, my Creator, and for Him only. I do not want anyone else to taint my poet's heart, not any more.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
A past t'at is mine, a poem t'at's gone;
A censured love impaired and sourly torn;
A carving of my soul, of my early years;
A sonata and melody t'at hath passed by;

Estefannia, Estefannia;
A drama t'at canst never lie;
Even in illness and dark hysteria;
Thou breathe and liveth on inside of me;
Thou forgivest and forgetest me every single day;

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Our stories are one and so is our poetry;
Whenst I writest, and so wilt thou;
Thou art part of me, a twin to my flesh;
Thou gigglest and wakest me up to a morning dew.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
A poet like me now and in th' past;
T'ese memories of thine shalt ever last;
Like twists of fate t'at shalt ne'er halt;
Like a feeling t'at shalt stay e'erlasting.

I combeth thy hair and feelest thy lips;
I touchest thy skin and walketh by thy feet;
My past is one, and too is thine;
Just like thou owneth half of me and of mine;

I liveth and breatheth by thy soul in me;
I hath my veins wherein floweth thy blood;
I and thou shalt ne'er be apart;
Thou art with me, in flesh and in my heart.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
A poet of life and love and hatred;
A seer into wintry and sunny days;
A speaker t'at ne'er be portrayed;
A lonely soul at night and in broad daylight.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
A mystery lover one hath yet not found;
A fine artist shattered by her grounds;
A midnight and morning and afternoon poet;
A wanderer cursed for even her own good;

Estefannia, Estefannia;
One betrayed by her own gown;
Detested by night and its hazel dystopia;
For all sirs wanteth her t' be alone;
To die in her weeps and moronic hysteria.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Still a lily blooming in yon rotten air;
With cheeks too balmy and sickly and fair;
Ah, so w'ere is love, w'ere might t'is love be?
Might t'ere be not one love for she?

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Alone in her dreamy gardenia;
Longing for love and admission;
In a ruptured world and academia;
Within a dry, and sour dream of oblivion.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Clever in her poems and fantasies;
Witty in her charms and parodies;
Ah, but such a soul is often forgotten;
T'ey wantest her to fade and be gone in seconds.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Ah, what a despised, poor honest soul;
Tangled in a planet filled with filth and foul;
A name t'at a gent shalt ne'er call;
A soul t'at one e'er seeks to fall;

Estefannia, Estefannia;
A soul a gent shan't bot'er to remember;
A love a prince destroys, and swaps, and shatters;
A patience ****** into many calls and delays;
A poem t'at finally hath no more to tell of and say.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
A poet with such abandoned peace of mind;
A dame uncloaked in storms and pouring rain;
A lover whose poems t'ey wishest to slaughter;
A diligent soul every gent longest to ******.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
To whom life hath become too pitiful;
To whom such worlds hath been greatly sinful;
Who seeks a love t'at not even exists;
Who is mocked and smothered by such beasts.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Whose labyrinth of love is lost somewhere;
But whose patience sounds sweeter and more beautiful;
Perhaps th' right time's to come, and thou'lt see an heir;
A young poet both legitimate and thoughtful;

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Within thy heartbeat recall my whisper;
Amongst the suns' rage and maleficent thunder;
But whenst love becomest two-faced and atrocious;
Thou art still a laugh t'at stays with me;

Estefannia, Estefannia;
For love is hateful, it is unfair;
For love ne'er smiles, nor shalt it care;
For thou art too pristine for its world and itself;
For thou art as pure and prone as pearls.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Perhaps fate shall unburden thee of what thou beareth;
And relieve thee of thy worried breath;
Ah, Estefannia, love shalt be a sign to thee tomorrow;
I hope it shalt be raining and see some snow.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Almighty is awake t'ere, and listening;
His verses are clear through such birds singing;
Singing and gliding and singing and gliding through th' suns;
Lurking by th' clouds and t'eir shivery Friday afternoon.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
For thee a love is riding through th' air;
A love carried by a magnificent persona;
T'at shalt emerge once thou finishest thy painting;
And hovering again through thy writing.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Let's now see night and its fatamorgana;
O'r past poets art all t'ere, watching and guiding thee;
So let not t'is love make thee fear;
For 'tis to arrive whenst thou may not hear.

Estefannia, Estefannia.
One shadow and one fear,
One laughter and one tear.
And t'ere is no mimicry in th' sky, my dear,
For all is one past, a past we canst no more hear.

Estefannia, Estefannia
Spells blew through thy fingers,
Just like t'ese archaic written words.
Like hasty clouds t'at run not off water,
Thou wert once trapped, within t'ese sullen words.

Estefannia, Estefannia
A song of thy voice t'at rings in my ears;
But a song of love, of slumbering vice and hate.
Ah, Estefannia, I am thy soul and still here;
For life is not yet over, and turning back is not late.

Estefannia, Estefannia;
Write all again tomorrow and after;
For poems and thou shalt e'er be together;
For love is t'ere, as thou shalt still seek;
As a breeze t'at flows, whilst it cannot speak.