i lay awake thinking about you
are you thinking about me?
i havent seen you in a long time
have you moved on with someone?
are you falling in love again?
do you still keep the skeletons in your closet
are you still scared of the monsters
have you found someone else
to calm you when you're out of your mind
to call you perfect
when there are tears streaming down your face
and blood soaking the sheets
does she love you for you?
does she understand your scars?
i hope you have found someone
and i hope that she is wonderful

****//everything hurts//cant breathe//****//help//crying//ugh//no//i love you//ugh

Suddenly, this year, I want to **** everyone
Or, more specifically, our friends;
My best friend, his best friend
Old friends
New friends
Friends I haven't seen for years.
I think I must be lacking something
But also, it is just about the ***.
Because I'm thirty seven
What if all my best encounters are behind me?
What if the best lay of my life
Is sitting next to me at a cafe
Or trotting along beside me on a power walk?
I don't want to get it on with strangers, enemies, colleagues,
Or the good looking guy who makes my coffee at Starbucks
Just friends
Am I missing something
Obvious to everybody else?

remember that time
         you gave me a song
said "you have to
listen to it!"
                             so of course i did
                             and i fell in love with it
                             just as i fell in love with you
for weeks
      months
                                              ­      it was the song
                                                            ­ that was us
maybe our love was forever
                     i cry every night
          that you didn't make it
                       to our "forever"
i've stopped
listening to it
it hurts
                                     i'm still waiting
                            for your
                                 "good morning love,
                                              sleep well? x"
                            message

You are a slowly growing tumour
Feeding on the best things in my life
You are cancerous
And I cannot cope
With the side effects
Of the cure.