I have thought that
so many times that I
honestly
could not tell you

but if I could give you
anything in the world
it would be an answer
to all the questions
that eat at you
every single day

most importantly
an answer that fulfills you

But I guess
death just defeats
all consolation

And I can see your heart break
every time you talk about the future
every time you let your love for life
swallow you

-S.G.

Eternity probably doesn’t exist
at least not the eternity
that I was taught my whole life

Maybe life is pointless
maybe everything we work up to
is a waste
and maybe we’re all
completely insignificant

But as long as I get to spend
the little time that I do have here
with you,
I don’t care.

I could wait
for the moment that death decides
to stop looming over my shoulder
to finally take me down with it
or I could spend all of that time
learning what you,
your mouth,
your eyes,
your body
has to teach me.

And honestly I wouldn’t mind
being completely ignorant
to the rest of the world if it meant
I was busy studying you.

- S.G.

An wave of uneasiness
fills the room
as you step in

Eyes as black as
the night sky,
but it’s not the darkness
that scares them
it’s what the darkness holds,
or in this case what it lacks

You move
so mechanically
it is all so routine to you

Converse,
move your ****-red lips as fast
as your heart is beating


If only they knew
your word *****
could never compare to
what you ***** every night
when the doors close

Blink,
do not let them look into your eyes
because if they do
they might see it all

That no matter how empty you are,
you still feel this insatiable need
to continue pouring yourself out

I can’t promise you a thing
except that
someday it will have taken all of you.

- S.G.

When I look at you
I see a light that refuses to burn out,
no matter how many times the wind
uses all its might to blow out your candles

a light that flickers, and dims,
and fades but still remains
through the darkest nights

and in lucid daylight
continues to burn

because no matter how bright the sun can shine,
there is no such thing, as too much light.

- S.G.

You asked me why I don’t like bringing people around
why I spend every day alone in my room
when I have plenty of people who would love my company
and my thoughts were so tangled around the real answer that
all I could tell you was that something in me changed a few months ago

I couldn’t get it out of me
you cannot know that I have succumbed to my need for control
and now it is what controls me

I don’t make my own decisions,
everything is pre-planned and mechanical

while I let my hands crawl their way
down my throat and empty out my stomach
I tell myself this is it,

this is really what it means
to be in control

I let myself believe that fighting my demons
means giving up every ounce of control that I have gained
in the past two years
by giving up myself

I don’t want them,
I don’t want you,
to get close to me because if you’re close enough
you can see the cracks in my skin

but no one can see how easily
I fracture if I keep my distance

I don’t want to be broken,
but more than that I don’t want you to realize that I am.

- S.G.

I will never stop wanting more of you,
every breath, every word,
there will always be things
that you keep inside of yourself,
but I want to hear every thought you push aside,
I want to know your darkness,
the cobwebs you hide in the recesses of your mind
because I know you have so many shades that I have yet to see,
that you don’t even know yourself,
and I want to learn them with you

you may think all of your candles have burned out
but without light, there are no shadows

- S.G.

My chest caves in
when I see your eyes
devoid of hope

I wish I still saw life in you,
I wish I wasn’t waiting for the day that
I get the call that I’ve expected so many times,
I have been pushing the thought out of my head
since I was ten and I saw the scars
"from my cat," you told me

I could be a hypocrite
and tell you not to be so afraid,
tell you to take care of yourself
because people want you around

but I can’t tell you to keep living,
I would never dare ask you not to
give up

not now,
not anymore

just please,
please don’t leave me yet,
I’m afraid
your empty words
still mean everything to me.

- S.G.