As she sunk down to depths of herself
Her arms were weak and fragile just like her spirt.
She was close to letting go of the only pieces
of herself that made her happy.

Then... Suddenly he was there.
He pulled her up from her drowning state
even when her eyes her full of her pain.
Miles separated them as did years.. and yet
he was  simply there.

He claimed he was just a guy...
but to her... he was so much more
He had in a few days time help mend the
tattered and torn expections of friendships
and even unknowingly helped her stitch up
some of the wounds that covered her back and her heart.

She didn’t know that friends existed.. not like this one
She told him he was wonderful
and he told her she was amazing
and for one of the first times in her life she believed the words

Thanks and compliments seemed to poor from her heart
and for once she didn’t breath so heavy
with the counting the number of days before his departure
but simply opened herself up
and let part of the little girl out that she had trapped there long ago.

She found she wasn’t so angry and
the fear didn’t eat her like it use to.
blushing over took her cheeks
and smiles spread across her lips like
a pink rose in the midst of spring

She couldn’t help but feel good inside and out
when they talked
and hearing his voice for even seconds was better.
She knew with this person
she had found not only a friend
but  a brother
someone who gave a **** about her.
Who saved from herself.
Or maybe helped her save herself.
Which she wasn’t sure.

All she knew as that she once thought
that finding a person to click with was rare. 
And now she knew that the real challege was finding someone
how you bonded with and connected with..
Who was willing to give more than take.
And that’s what she found.
She could’nt see the greatness in herself  
but he could.
Prehaps he couldn’t see what hid within himself
but she could.
For once in her life she was okay with the world not being perfect
and prehaps for the first time as well she let herself go.

He did so much for her by just being herself..
but in the end the best thing he ever did to her
was love his friend for who she was.

Shining light within me,
why can’t I see you?
Why do you allude me so?
when I search so high and low for you
in the cracks and the cloaked spaces of myself.
I need to know that I am not only bad,
that I am not only here to destroy and break
the precious and beautiful  accepts that surround me.
I’m a little scratched and a little bruised and nicked
and a little tattered at the seams,
no I’m not proud of it but its true.
I’m trying to put myself back together
but it’s so easy to break
and the needle weaves in and out
hoping it holds tight this time.
I will find the light,
I need to,
hidden in the shadows of my own beings.
Light, I need you.

Screaming out of help,
calling for something more,
wandering through the maze that I crave
of the life I live.
Fear cloaks me,
The truth gets caught in my throat,
then, I’m gasping for air.

Wishing for happiness
to push away despair.
Part of me wanting to disappear.
To hide from them
to hide from myself  

my torn disposition
my broken smile.
I can’t pretend my whole life

Please release me
please let me run
Please let me flee from this place

Sickened by my thoughts
sickened by my distant dreams
sickened by the loss of myself

please shadows of my mind...
don’t overtake me...
Someone save me
something save me...
pull me up

I’m clinging
sinking
needlessly choking
on my own victim mentality.
Most of my days are all the same..
Just like this.