I could cry making love to her, said he about me. He took me
through the countryside where he endured and at times, enjoyed
life as a child, met his father; surprisingly winsome and caring.

Showed me the clearing where dreams of wedding vows reside,
wildflowers and sunlight and the smell of the wind. Said he could
not wait to kiss me inside the threshold of his new house, could

not wait to make love to me on the new bed that he bought to
contain the exclusive bonds of our two bodies. He said time and
constancy would prove his devotion

I am here.
I am not going anywhere, said he to me.

I scanned my instincts and found incredulous peace, my own disbelief
was the only recognizable fear, and a reason NOT to be happy would
need to be birthed by ignorant spontaneous invention. I felt beautiful,

loved and secure, with laughter and poetry, singing and guitar,
tranquility and passion and rain on our first kiss, cooing Hey Jupiter.

Undone. My head is throbbing from smashing against the proverbial
windshield because he slammed on the brakes and slipped every
thing about me into reverse tragedy has taken his mother away and

sisters and brother look to the eldest for help his 3 year old daughter
has just returned from Maine.

Too- much- at- once, he gasped, I am drowning! Take my hand
love, you are not alone, I will sit beside you, I won’t say a word.

But he wanted nothing of me from me or for me because my sea
colored towels recently hung in his bathroom have been speaking
auditory hallucinations “She has come to steal your autonomy” and

he felt shame for this, after all it was he who asked me to put my
toothbrush in his cabinet. No need to over-complicate; he thought
he wanted a relationship, until he remembered all the things he

can’t stand about relationships and now my form represents all
the things that [and] he cannot stand, and the face in the mirror
said to him “Don’t listen to the towels, you coward! You are afraid

of letting her down. Just let her down now, get it over with and
then you can pretend that she never happened.”
He listened to the mirror and to the towels and declared,

I am here.
I am not going anywhere.

Thus, he got rid of those ******* towels and the woman who
brought them into his house. Life is too hard to include you, said
he to me, just accept it; this has nothing to do with you.

Hey Jupiter, nothing’s been the same.

It is not just that you are the first person I have ever truly loved.
Nor is it the fact that between everyone else I put you above.
I'm certain it was not that adorable laugh of yours,
And it is not that smile, that I no longer see anymore.
Could it be the way you walked?
The way you sat?
The way you wrote?
The way you held on to me with our young love in the air?
No, it cannot be, there is much more.
For it was not just my life you entered upon,
But my mind.
It was not my ear you whispered sweet bliss to,
But my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed,
But my soul.

Remembering is what's wrong,
always a melancholy song,
whether of sad or happy times,
they're all the same, when gone.

I saw a dancer, seductive
Trail-blazer, paint a picture
Of the future; in the future

There were silvered swans
Gliding the surfaces of mirrors,
Dragons spewing sunset

Into the sky. Later, the moon -
Distant dream-fellow, will rise
Above a plane of promises.

But the dancer tripped and fell,
I was reminded the stars are cruel
To reach with lesser fuel

Than is needed, imagined
Only in a dreamer's desperation
To depart an insensible nation.

Someday
your eyes will fixate on mine
and they'll never have to part again.
Someday
the taste of your lips won't linger
and fade, it will only stay.
Someday
from your embrace
I'll no longer be ripped, and
Someday
the worry, fear, and doubt
will only be a memory. But
Someday
can't can't replace what is,
and what is can't be faked.

Someday.

I don't want to live in a world
where comparison is bedrock,
where I feel pressure when I look down.
I feel disgusted in front of a mirror,
I despise the side view, and
the need to shrink becomes eminent.
I can't leave the house unless
I'm in line, every part.
Every eyelash must be individual.
No clumps.
Every blemish must be hidden.
No exceptions.
And if one thing goes wrong...

I just want to look like her.
Or her.
Ms. Flat Stomach And Tan Skin.
(Soon to be a Mrs.)

They say blood is thicker than water
But really water runs more than blood
All blood is lost through wars and sorrow
And when we cry its water not tuff tasting metal
We need blood to live within our souls
But yet water is needed to survive

I want to grow old
In the palms of your hands,
Wrapped endlessly around you
Like a grape on a vine.
I want to fall in love
The way I once fell in love
With the sunset
While I sat on the beach
In the middle of nowhere
Contemplating the direction of my life
I want to be yours
In the way no one has ever been
Anybody's anything before.
I want to stay forever in your eyes
As I am now
Sweet
Small
Innocent and lovely
As is the beginning of spring
When the world starts to flourish
And the best you can do
Is watch in amazement