I love watching the world fall asleep
Tucked underneath a skyline blanket of atmosphere winking at stars as if it's something that's it's not supposed to do but it's beautiful anyways
Lying beneath the quaking sound of the interstate cars running wild burning up gas like wildfire smoking the ceilings of bedrooms
Backseats made to feel like a home
The world is falling asleep and I am lying awake
Loving someone who is loving someone else
Watching her drift into unconsciousness like it is the first movie he has ever seen
Watching her while I am watching the world
I wonder if we are looking at the same thing

i do not love you
i do not analyze every touch
i do not stare at your lips in movement,
i especially do not dream about the
day when you will love me back
i do not love you
i like him
he winks at me every time i walk through the
door and he plays basketball and you never liked
sports and i don't either but it's okay because
i do not love you
i like him
he bites his lip when he studies and his dark eyes are
the exact opposite of yours and maybe that's why i love them
because he is the exact opposite of you
i do not love him
i love you
but i cannot say that because you are a thousand miles away
from me and he is right here and i know that this
is wrong and i should stop and that i'm leading him on
and i need to get over you first but i can't bring myself
to do so

i love you
i wish i didn't

(h.l.)

Why do I wake at 4 in the morning to run my fingers through you hair?
Sleepless lullaby playing in the back of my throat
I want to pull my body onto yours
But it is 4 in the morning and that's insane
Because you're gone now, the kind of gone where you are not expected to return
You have not left for work or for school, you're just gone
The cars on the highway have never sounded so loud
It's as if I can hear the radio static in each one
And I wonder how many people are awake at 4 in the morning wishing for the same things and me
Because though 2 am is lively and 3 am is scary, no one ever talks about 4 am because you are expected to be asleep by this time
It is 5 in the morning and maybe now I will be able to sleep this away, but maybe I will stay up in hopes that you will visit me