i want to
stand in the sun
with you

i want us to live
out of hotels
off room service
have your arms be
my private bungalow
where I never dream afraid
only leaving to
feel the grainy sand
beneath our wet feet
and entwined nakedness

i miss our crooked summer sleep
you know,
the one where our limbs
sinew
to the point that
no one knew
whose limbs were their own
the one where
you cupped my breast
all night &
pressed against my back
with your breath
warming my neck
and turning me on
at
the
same
time

i want to stand
in the sun with you
& leave everyone else
standing in the dark
stench of everyday
let them be buried
beneath the hustle
of daily life

come
follow me
to a hideaway
where wrapped in each others arms
we’re free from limitations

our own private place


don’t you get it?
you’re my
island escape.

while we wait for dinner,
you talk
& i
just stare at your lips
cause
they’re the only thing
i want to eat

i wonder,
is it bad
i want to order
off the menu?

i want
bottomless refills
of your kisses
& a side of your hands
on my thighs

until i’m full
enough to wait
for one more
serving

i think i’d like to order now.

how soon
can a full plate of you
be ready
to go?

let my hair
a wiry mesh
of thick sinews
tangle inbetween
your finger tips

let my sweat drench itself
a torrential rain
into the soft valleys of
your chest
drowning you

let my breath crash itself
a virulent wind
onto the sensual twist of
your neck
blowing you

&
let my hands be calming
like the eye of a storm
to the quickness of your heart
before the wind
starts turning up & roaring
again

lately
the color of our skin
only refracts bullets when
enough light
has hit it
deflecting
death &
a mother's
burning tears

patience hasn’t been
one of my better
virtues
& if you’re expecting me
to wait for you
like a stranded man
in the sahara
who has no where else
to go


that is like
asking
to wait for death
after the poisonous
bite of a snake

the fear that you won’t return
will paralyze me

for you
are only a mirage
so i
will grasp my own vine
pull myself
out of this quicksand
i am sinking in.

& so you leave me
here
unable to kiss another
without
still tasting you
on the tip
of their tongues

i still love you
like an old love song
you never forget
the words to
even though
its been a lifetime
since you’ve heard it.

i still love you
like an old pair of shoes
you refuse to throw away
so you keep repairing them
because of how comfortable
they feel.

i still love you
like my childhood blanket
because in your arms
i've always felt safe & secure

i still love you
like a worn out lp
that you don't care
how many times it skips
cause
with you
my heart is always
stuck on repeat
&
always replaying
my favorite
part
which just happens to be
your name

one by one
our sons
have become
limestone slabs
planted
in newly clipped
concrete grass

when we’re old
i’ll have you know
your eyes
will never carry bags

i will never see
the wrinkles
folded in your skin

your hands
will still fit mine
regardless of
the bending & twisting
our knuckles may take

& my heart
will still beat
to the sound of your voice
though it may crack
& be barely heard

old age
will not define us
for we are
timeless
a line, continuous
fluidity

late at night
when the moon is hanging
high in the sky
& the stars luminescence
gently caresses your face

i watch you sleep

in the silence of the room
where only the silence of your breath
can be heard

it is there
i watch you
while we lay
our limbs entwined
like ivy vines
i allow my hand
to forbiddingly touch your face
tracing
the suppleness of your brown lips
that carry the kiss
i wish to savor
like fine wine

while we sleep
we become entangled
in a web of sheets and satin skin
while your arms
bearing the strength of Sampson
cradle me gently & pull me close
my chin rests
in the cook of your neck
where i can smell
the scent of your sweet air
i close my eyes
hold you
& kiss you there
til morning comes
when you have to leave me
once more

some nights
i imagine
my hands are yours
cupping my *******
while i sleep
& sometimes
they slide
downwards
moving into my thighs
separating the space
between of reality
& making it so good
that sometimes
i scream my own name
because supposedly
now
i am you

you make me laugh
till my sides split open
like a ripe coconuts
that fell to the ground

come here
you say

& i
resist

somehow
i always think

yes,
it's possible
to walk away

till i see you
waist deep
wrapped
only in a towel

standing
partially
dripping
wetting the floor
& me

how my feet
betray me

delivering myself
to you
i find myself
standing
in a puddle
beneath you

& for a brief moment
you stare
scooping my face
search me
with your lips
&
finally find
my want for you

the brownness of my skin
should not be the basis
for the deafness in your ears
to ignore the shouts
for you to move

take action

the brownness of my skin
should not be the basis
for the blindness in your eyes
to ignore the ignorance
for you to see

take action

the brownness of my skin
should not be the basis
for the blandness of your tongue
to refuse the opportunities
for you to taste

take action
for
the color of the hands
passing the plate
shouldn't matter
when you’re starving
for change.

who's to say what is
right?

i only know
the lack of your touch
is wrong
the absence of your lips
a sin
the space where
you used to lay
is now
hellishly
cold

i didn't want to do it
i didn't want to do it
but he made me
cause they say
he killed an old lady
on 23rd street
you know
the one with the
blue hair and blind dog
all because of some tic tacs
since that's all she had in her pocket
living on welfare
don't you know
they say he crept in
smothered her with a pillow as she said her prayers goodnight?

i didn't wanna do it
i didn't wanna do it
but they made me
cause i got a quota
cause i could be fired
if i flake and
don't take him out
NOW!

i'm keeping the peace.

besides,
that could've been my grandmother
if she wasn't dead
already.

on every corner
there’s always a small part of you
i see
scattered
& i search to find
just a fraction of your smile
that familiar curve of brown
the soft spokeness of your voice
i want it
to resonate from
every person i hear

the longing to touch
the browness of your skin
ebbs at me

on every corner
theres a small part of you
that eludes me
it turns & escapes
like a fast wind
that cannot be grasped

& by the time i look again
everything about you
you took, it’s gone

yet i continue to search
trying to find
what i’d like to think
is some part of you
hiding in others
when in reality
i’m trying to find
what little of myself
you left behind

we lay
pretending to be sleep
as darkness creeps
through the night
like your hand
across my thigh
as you pull me to you
covering me
like a cloud
over the face of the moon

your kiss
it penetrates me
shallow & deep
the way you do
while your breath
blows over me
like a soft wind
brewing before a storm
& i
underneath your weight
blow over
like a flower in the wind
taking in
all that you have to give

you
are
the
exact
measure
to which
all others
fail
to
measure

The blackness of an eye
A prisoner's plea
A child’s recoil from touch.
Tears bottled up
with the swallowing of pills.
The secrecy of people
wanting us to die
while we are here struggling
with the expectancy to live.
For those who only cry out
through the pain in their eyes
we speak out
against violence
& despair
this is
my voice
for the world
to never have to scream
silently again.

i can see the train
running on her tracks
from here
can you see it?

it’s saying
weave me, weave me, weave me, weave me.

today
i'm reminiscing
the way you smell
there
in the curve of your neck
where
i want to plant my nose
forever
cause your scent
makes me high
like a good joint

i could inhale
you
all
day
long

these feelings i have
left over
are like
little splashes
of red wine
over a carpeted
floor

a permanent reminder
of what once
used to be
in my
hands

& so you leave me
here
unable to kiss another
without
still tasting you
on the tips
of their tongues

in my dreams
every night
you visit me
like a silent thief
and enter
into my bed
into me

the ghost of your weight
fills me with the
heaviness of your soul

&
your weightless breath
blows me over
with the intensity
of a storm
brewing