wanting to know
if its for him
that i still feel
he throws out
a line or two
to see if i'll bite
as if i were a mackerel
& he a cape cod fisherman

sometimes
i am a small carp
on a fisherman's strong hook
stuck
& i'm reeled back in
effortlessly

other times
i'm a mako shark
i struggle
i pull
i run
almost dragging him
into the black water
to drown with me

but he fights
relentlessly
reeling harder & harder
eventually
wearing me down
pulling my feelings
with his poetic words
out from the
cold depth of which
they've been submerged

& yes love, i do
is all i can say
for
i am still
a fish
out of
water
left
breathless
by his mere
presence alone

& so you leave me
here
unable to kiss another
without
still tasting you
on the tips
of their tongues

we are an enigma
like a jigsaw
& i
am perplexed
by our movements
in this dance we do

its so
tango like

i run
&
you chase

until i turn
wanting to get caught
but you
pull back
the way a long distant
night waltzes
into obscurity
only deciding
to reappear
the next morning
yelling "wait!"
but
the track star
that i am
has sprinted
so far gone
with heart in hand
that i don't hear you

or at least maybe
i pretend not to

tell me
how long will we
continuously swerve
away from each other
like two cars colliding
too afraid of wrecking
each others emotional walls?

this waltz
in which we dance
around each other
has become
an unpragmatic
silent torment
to us both

lets meringue
or even bachata
baila
baila
conmigo now
spice it up a bit
lets salsa
come on
pull
me
close
cause at some point
all music changes
&
dances eventually
come to an end

you
are
the
exact
measure
to which
all others
fail
to
measure

today
i'm reminiscing
the way you smell
there
in the curve of your neck
where
i want to plant my nose
forever
cause your scent
makes me high
like a good joint

i could inhale
you
all
day
long

I have ran
jumped
hurdled
over every obstacle
you have set before me
except
i love you

with those three words
I run
like a track star
because I am afraid
if you catch me
you will see
my weakness
of how I will struggle
to be set free
not from you
but from
how dependent
on your love
I have
become

on every corner
there’s always a small part of you
i see
scattered
& i search to find
just a fraction of your smile
that familiar curve of brown
the soft spokeness of your voice
i want it
to resonate from
every person i hear

the longing to touch
the browness of your skin
ebbs at me

on every corner
theres a small part of you
that eludes me
it turns & escapes
like a fast wind
that cannot be grasped

& by the time i look again
everything about you
you took, it’s gone

yet i continue to search
trying to find
what i’d like to think
is some part of you
hiding in others
when in reality
i’m trying to find
what little of myself
you left behind