you make me laugh
till my sides split open
like a ripe coconuts
that fell to the ground

i'd like to spend a night with you
without armor, covering
without  distance, separating

i'd like to spend a night with you
without obscurity, muting
without silence, encroaching  

i'd like to take down these walls
that cling, like some strange disease
and cause me to bleed

i'd like openness and clarity
to approach me  
to embrace me
and allow me
to be cured
finally

let my hair
a wiry mesh
of thick sinews
tangle inbetween
your finger tips

let my sweat drench itself
a torrential rain
into the soft valleys of
your chest
drowning you

let my breath crash itself
a virulent wind
onto the sensual twist of
your neck
blowing you

&
let my hands be calming
like the eye of a storm
to the quickness of your heart
before the wind
starts turning up & roaring
again

if a kiss is worth a thousand words
then with you,
i could talk all night/
converse bilingually/ fluently
we could discuss
the french riviera in spring time
& how lovers stroll through the park
singing/ a clair d’lune
or
you could be don juan
under a window enveloped
in flowers of red/ serenade me
with your spanish tounge
& sweet smile
while the mariachi band plays
amor/   but
if a kiss is really worth
a thousand words
then we could talk
in a language of our own
cause your lips
seem to understand mine/
talking to me/  softly touching
/smoothly matching
like a missing link
making a conversation with you
worthwhile
where words are never wasted
but always well spoken
& unrehearsed/

i like the way you speak to me
black man
so come to me
with your lips
so eloquent & full/
tell me your dreams
whisper me your secrets
in a mellow tone of kisses/
come/
i am listening
& with a kiss
i will answer

You think
I love you
a little bit
you tell me

And I freeze,
a small deer in headlights
I am

I think, yes
I'm guilty as charged
And I know I should move
I should say something so I'm not judged wrongly
But I lawyer up, not commenting and plead the 5th instead

Your honor,
Where in the hell
were these words plastered
for you to read oh so well?

I swore
I kept them hidden
in an unpublished manuscript
somewhere...
Unless my eyes
leaked it to the press
Because
they've always been
that one neighborhood snitch
that talks too much
& gives me away
at the very sight of you
every
****
time

You love me
just a little
you say

I can feel
you really
want to know

But I said no,
Perjuring myself
& breaking your resolve

You see my heart
wasn't quite ready then
To be published
front page
& fully available
in stores for purchase.

boys were fun
for a while

with their tousled hair
flopping freely
like wilted flowers
over eyes
that peered
just enough
through the cracks
at me
like a scared child
to make you want to go
and pull them through

boys were fun
for a while

kissing different ones
has been like eating
an assortment
of creme filled chocolates
never knowing
what i was going to get
till the end

like an italian gelato
on a hot day
some have been
sweet & refreshing
while others
burned me
like bitter herbs
which left a bad taste
in my mouth

& i
like a plant in the desert
freshly rained on
didn't realize
how dry
my needs were
until i met you

now
i no longer
go out to play
with them
cause
you've placed
my expectations
so high
that
like a cat stuck in
the tallest tree
i’ve been unable to bring them
down since

while we wait for dinner,
you talk
& i
just stare at your lips
cause
they’re the only thing
i want to eat

i wonder,
is it bad
i want to order
off the menu?

i want
bottomless refills
of your kisses
& a side of your hands
on my thighs

until i’m full
enough to wait
for one more
serving

i think i’d like to order now.

how soon
can a full plate of you
be ready
to go?