when i’m away from you
this ******
that i've had
waiting

with its wrapper edges
so neatly folded up
makes a good
ashtray

now, if only i smoked

through the spaces
between
curling flowers
and a lattice framed
yellowing
fence

i could see them

i could watch them

every
day

the barbeques
slamming of doors
pool parties
birthdays
late nights
x rated

the loudness of it all
left me panting
for more
&
living vicariously
through their lives

all i want
is a philly cheese steak
not the kind from penn station
but the real ones
from joes
you know,
on 42nd street
where miles
and monk
are played on the corner
by sax mills
and for a dime
you can hear it
loud as the honking horns
blowing in time with the bustling street
while men wearing black bow ties
try to sell me bean pies
allah for a dollar

yeah,
there is where i go
after the grill has been
used all day
and the grease is caked up
like layered pastries
cause that's when they taste best
smothered in onions
and provolone cheese
thicker than
a baby wrapped in a winter blanket

yeah man,
this is my daily bread

my friend al
calls me every night
midnight to be exact
with invites to the maryland club,
you know the one, near hudsons bay
where johnny walkers always playing that old drum?

come he says
& we can dance with martini & rossi
baila baila on table tops
while jose cuervo
plays his cuban guitar.

aye yae yae mami,
venga, venga!
come
let me show you the comforts
of southern hospitality

it will only cost you one silver dollar

i try to say no
absolutely not

cause the last time i danced with al
i found myself lying in the arms of ron bacardi
at the old kentuky tavern down by the green river
ooh, he was soo smooth talking
standing there dressed in his red label shoes
& when he told me i felt like black velvet,
handed me four roses
& tickled me with three feathers
i found myself with my
backside to the ground
& me looking up at nothin but skyy
& by the time i knew what was going on
we had done it 151 times
before jack daniels caught us
behind mr. boston's house
& when he swore
he’d tell my old grand dad
i was so scared,
i stole the white horse
that belonged to capitan morgan
just to get away.

lord knows to this day
if he knew
he’d slap me silly, take me to church
& swear the christian brothers
could save my soul.

no, i wanna say
absolutely not

but its too late

i’m already at the canadian club
where my soul is being ******
by the fat *******
filling my glass
with crushed grapes.

i want to
stand in the sun
with you

i want us to live
out of hotels
off room service
have your arms be
my private bungalow
where I never dream afraid
only leaving to
feel the grainy sand
beneath our wet feet
and entwined nakedness

i miss our crooked summer sleep
you know,
the one where our limbs
sinew
to the point that
no one knew
whose limbs were their own
the one where
you cupped my breast
all night &
pressed against my back
with your breath
warming my neck
and turning me on
at
the
same
time

i want to stand
in the sun with you
& leave everyone else
standing in the dark
stench of everyday
let them be buried
beneath the hustle
of daily life

come
follow me
to a hideaway
where wrapped in each others arms
we’re free from limitations

our own private place


don’t you get it?
you’re my
island escape.

would you like to make love tonight
underneath the coolness of blue city lights
in the warmness of this dark room
where i might only kiss
you
till our lips can’t tell the kisser from the kiss
& our tounges entangle to become one
like the time all we did was kiss
here
we could begin to make love

would you like to make love tonight
while dizzy’s band plays the blues
you could hear it
& play  a melody of your own
with me in the warmness of this dark room
where i wanna make love
with you

darling give me your hands
place yourself inside my melody
till music flows from it
like running water & i
drown you with tunes so sweet
you sing my name
acapella

tell me
would you like to make love tonight
by the flicker of a candlelit flame
& have our shadows dance together
across the room
until we come
faster than the A train back to harlem

you know
ellington never played music
as sweet as mine

can you hear it?
wouldn’t you like to?
i’m playing it for you.

boys were fun
for a while

with their tousled hair
flopping freely
like wilted flowers
over eyes
that peered
just enough
through the cracks
at me
like a scared child
to make you want to go
and pull them through

boys were fun
for a while

kissing different ones
was like eating
an assortment
of creme filled chocolates
never knowing
what i was going to get
till the end

like an italian gelatto
on a hot day
some were
sweet & refreshing
while others
burned me
like bitter herbs
leaving a bad taste
in my mouth


& i
like a plant in the desert
freshly rained on
didn’t realize
how dry
my needs were
until i met you

now
i no longer
go out to play
cause
you placed
my expectations
so high
that
like a cat stuck in
the tallest tree
i’ve been unable to bring them
down since