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Star Girl Nov 2013
I want words written on me.
I want your words.
Our words.
My words.
Sure words.

I want to be like a book.
Open for you or read.
I want to have my story written down my back.
I want you to know me.

I want bed time stories.
I want anticipation.
I want weekends.
I want to hear you smile.
I want us to try something new.
I want to try...
That's all that matters.
And these words.

That I want written on my back.
All over me.
Describing me.
These words.
Your words.
Our words.
My words.
Star Girl Nov 2013
7 am.
For once I'm early.
For once I woke up, happy.
For once I woke up remember that it does get better.
For once my fathers text aren't true.
For once, I can easily wake up  
For once, I can start my day off right.
For once, I'm actually happy.
Not that cheap liquor induced happiness.
But,
A small warm hug of happiness.
Maybe they won't leave, I haven't.
Maybe I won't shun them, they seem to like me.
Maybe mom was right,
I just had to get through high school.

Art school was the best decision of my life.
Wanna know why?
I'm doing what I love.
I'm surrounded by people who are like me.
Sure.
There will be the posers and phonies.
The ones with all the mask caked on and truly don't know who they are.
But,
Then there is us.
The wallflowers.
Take us however you wish.

Yes.
I'm broken.
Hurt.
Needy.
Afraid.
Helpless at times too...
But,
I'm happy.
Excited.
Rejoiced.
Refreshed.
Because I have this life,
I have this family,
And now...
I have these friends.

So today,
At 7 am,
I write to all you that I love to say,
Today I'm not just fine or okay,
I'm great.
Star Girl Nov 2013
I'm sorry.
That I'm bruised,
broken,
and not like the rest.
I'm sorry.
I'm loud,
bold,
yet never confident.
I'm sorry.
I try to take control,
lead,
yet I'm only a child.

But you know...
time.
We don't have a whole lot.
We don't think of it though...
because,
who wants too.

So I'm sorry if I'm not...
enough.
Not pretty enough,
or smart enough,
or even cool enough.

I'm sorry.
Star Girl Nov 2013
I have this art teacher,
Who is so very passionate about the idea of an...
"Untitled" piece.
He hates it,
Despises even.
He says that it's like having  a kid,
But not naming it.
Be proud,
give it a name.

My life is my best piece,
But I can't name it yet,
Because it has a
Working Title.
Star Girl Oct 2013
You.
Yes you.
Gosh.
You.
I love you.
And you lie.
You say you care.
You use you're smooth words to coax me.
To coax your way back into my heart.
You.
You there.
You've stolen me.
Stolen all of me.
All the goodness.
You.
You don't even know.
You.
You say you want to stay.
You.
You say you won't hurt me.
You.
You're going to be a liar.
You can't help it.
Because I'll either be,
Too much,
Or,
Too little.
You.
You scare me.
You walked right in through the front gate.
You.
You didn't see the warning sign.
Beware.
Delicate heart.
Easily loves.
Easy to hurt.
Fragile.
You.
You just walked in.
Now.
Now we wait and see.
Star Girl Oct 2013
A.
We used to be friends,
You were so talented, especially with your words.
You pulled me one way and another.
I was your puppet.
You cut my strings, until now.
You poke and pull for my attention, even though it kills me.
But, I still see that you are good...

B.
Too tall,
So sad.
I know your sad voice and it makes me cry.
A year, I've known you a year.
You call out when your lonely,
and I heal you for the day.
So sad.
Now I'm sad,
because I keep trying when you keep reaching,
and I get no where.
I'm sorry I try.
But, I still the good in you...

C.
You're a new face,
and I could like you.
You make me laugh,
smile.
You keep me an arms length away because I remind you of her.
You don't want to hurt me,
Because you see I'm hurt.
So you'll hold my hand,
Kiss my head,
and tell me I'm Wonderful.
You're hurt too,
But I see the good in you...

D.
Is where I am.
Alone.
Just me.
Unwanted.
Waiting to be called on.
Afraid.
Not knowing when it will end.
Hurt.
But there is still good in me...
Star Girl Oct 2013
***
Tonight was better than most,
You were honest,
And so was I.

Weird thing is...
I'm happy.
Even though I don't know if you'll be there in the morning.
I was happy.

You saw through me.
You told me who I was, and who I am.
It was odd.
Wonderful.
But odd.

You held my hand and tried to talk sense to me.
I wanted to say yes.
But I'm not a liar.
I won't be okay.
But in the end... neither will you.

My confidence mask how I have none,
I don't enjoy my laugh,
I love tea,
I want to trust you'll catch me when you fall,
I want to write you a letter..........
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