Was it the challenge that you were after?
You just wanted me because nobody else has ever had me?
I was unbreakable, nobody could get to me.
You just wanted what you couldn't have.
And after some time, when you realized you had finally truly gotten me,
You left, because the thrill of the chase was gone.
So you moved on to a new challenge.

Was it the lust?
I don't see how it could be, I'm not an attractive person.
But it seems that the times you miss most are the times that we were together for lust, not love.
And when my lust finally turned to love, you left.
When we no longer fooled around, you got bored of me.

Was it to brag?
Did you just want me so that you could say you were dating a senior, a track star, a guy that everyone liked?
But when you realized that I wasn't as amazing as you thought, you were disappointed and bored, so you left.

I've run every possibility through my mind, and they all make sense except for one little detail:
You say you still love me.
So either you are lying to me and making sure that you break my heart beyond repair,
Or you are confused.
Because if you love me, you wouldn't love him too.

I should be happy for today.
I mean its Christmas Eve.
But how can I be happy?
Its been a month today,
And its been the worst month of my life.
Not only that, but you'll be spending "the most wonderful time of the year" with him instead of me.
I'm dying inside, but nobody will ever know.
All they will ever see is the face I've painted on the outside of my shell.

I'm done.
I've messed enough up.
I just need to leave.
But before I go, I need you to know that I love you.
I love you with all of my heart.
And I tried.
It may not seem like it but I was trying so hard.
Just know that I'm always here if you need me.
And if I die an early death, rejoice. Don't be sad.

"Don't bottle up your emotions or one day you'll snap"
That's what I was told all my life.
I always told them I'd be fine.
It won't happen to me.
But I've finally hit my breaking point.
And now, every time I snap,
Its on the only person I love.
And with each snap, I drive her farther and farther away.

I'm sorry.
I say it so often that I think you stopped hearing it.
But that's all I can say.
I can't fix what I've done.
I've hurt you and I feel horrible for it.
All I can do is say sorry and ask for another chance to get it right.
But I know I will run out of chances soon.
I just hope I can get it right before then.

I'm sorry.
I truly love you and care.
When I snap on you, it hurts me more than it hurts you.
Please forgive me and give me another chance.

I try so hard, but you can't even see.
All you see is my mistakes.
I put myself through Hell to try to make things work,
But I stumble and fall with no one here to help me up.
I wish I could do better, because my best isn't good enough.


If only you knew what I've gone through.

What is wrong with me?
I can clearly see that you love him.
I can see that he loves you.
I can see that you guys are happy together and I make things worse.
I'm a broken bone that never healed.
I'm a bullet that can't be pulled out, that still hurts.
I'm that annoying woodpecker that wakes you up in the morning and never shuts up.
You aren't coming back.
Why do I even pretend?
You are in love and I lost out.
I lost my chance.
I should do the world a favor and **** off the annoying woodpecker.
Then you could live in peace.
And I could meet my maker.

I ain't a poet,
So why am I here?
My poems **** and aren't really poems.
I just write stuff,
Saying what I can't say,
Hoping you'll read them, so you know how I feel.
I try talking in riddles, so you can only guess at what I mean.
Because I don't want you to know, even though I do.
I ain't a poet,
So why am I here?

I wish I could, but I can't.
It would only make things worse.
So I just have to wait,
Hoping you do it instead.

I'm a fake.
I'm phony.
Putting on what people wanna see.
I don't really care.
I'll show them what they want to see.
I have so many identities that you never know if you got the real me.
But when you see the real me, you'll know.
Too bad that the number of people who know the real me can be counted on one hand...

I've finally collected the pieces of my shell.
You know that thing that you broke me out of?
You worked so hard to get my out of it.
And now, I've collected the pieces and glued them back together.
There might be a few cracks left in the shell,
But I'm pretty much back to my old self now.
I'm a brick without feelings, just how its supposed to be.

This is for you.
I don't know if you'll ever read it,
But I can hope, can't I?

I can't do this anymore

I hate life.
I hate music.
I hate movies and flowers and fun.
I hate sleeping.
I hate being awake.
I hate everything, except the one who caused me to feel this way.
How can you hate the one you love?
Even when they are the one who broke you.
You want me to hate you but instead I just hate everything else,
Because everything reminds me of you

What are feelings?
What are emotions?
I never used to know.
I couldn't cry, I tried to care, I didn't know what love was.
But you taught me what emotions are.
You taught me how to have feelings and how to express them.
Was it worth it? I don't know.
I learned to love, to have fun, to trust, and to hope.
You taught me what its like to be cared for, to be loved and much more
But on the other hand, now I feel pain and sorrow and anger.
I cry, I care, I love.
Was it worth it?
I guess I'll find out.

I just do see how I can do it.
But I will try my best.
I will do what I can to make it work.
And if I fail, I won't be any worse off than I am now.

17hrs left. Lets see how much I can sleep away.
Cool. 7 more hours.
5 left. What shall I do?
3 hours. This is taking forever.
1 hour.
45 minutes. I'm getting nervous.
30 minutes.
15.
10. Here it comes.
Its almost here. Will I survive?

I used to hate poetry, but I learned to love it.
I learned to love it because you did.
You expressed yourself and I loved what you would write.
But now poems are all I have left.
I don't have anything to bring me joy.
So I find myself writing more and more everyday.
Just hoping that you might someday stumble across them
And realize how much I love you.
So I will hold on.
I will hold onto my love for you,
My hope that you just might come back,
And last of all, to poetry.

I'm sorry.
For everything I couldn't be that you needed.
I'm sorry.
For not letting go.
I'm sorry.
I Love you.

That was harder than expected.
Why does it have to be this hard?
Shouldn't I be able to move on?
But I don't want to and I can't.
***** to be me.

Love cant even describe my feelings for you.
Other than you, I have no one.
Obviously I don't even have you now.
Maybe I should give up, stop hoping that you just might come back.
Perhaps I would be happier if I could just move on.
Love keeps me here though, waiting for something that will never happen
Even though you've put me through this, I still Loomple you <3

Some days ****,
Others aren't so bad.
Some days I pray that God would just take me home.
But then I realize I'm just being selfish.
You know, I never knew what emotions were before I met you.
And now I wish I could forget all again.
But some days, I'm ok.
I can keep my mind busy with thoughts other than you.
At least until I get reminded of you, which is so very easy.
Some days I just sit around and stare.
Not at anything in particular, just stare.
But I'm told it gets better.
Sometimes I almost believe it too,
Until the smallest things bring you back into my mind.
But I make it through life.
Day by day.
Hour by hour.
Minute by minute.
And they add up after awhile.
They add up to a whole lot of nothing.
But life goes on.

I Love You.
Three simple words.
People use them all the time.
But for me, they are rare.
I Love You.
Never did I mean it more than when spoken to you.
And when I said forever, well sorry to say but I meant it.
I Love You.
Words you repeated back to me.
Words I believed with all of my heart.
I Love You More.
Something you told me all the time.
Something I think you believed, although it wasn't true.
I Love You.
Even though you broke my heart and left me for dead.
After everything you've done that hurts so much.
I Love You.
Loomple <3

Did I deserve to be treated like this?
No, nobody does.
But did I ever deserve someone as perfect as you?
No again.
Or maybe a better question is did you deserve someone like me?
Still a no. You deserve better.
But I gave you my best,
I gave you my all.
You might not realize it, but I am nothing without you.
I gave you everything I had to offer and now I'm left with nothing.
Nothing but memories. And even those hurt to have.
People say that if something seems to good to be true,
Then it probably is.
But I forced myself to not believe it.
To believe that for some reason we would be different.
Well I was wrong, and I payed dearly for that.
I lost the only thing I cared about, the only thing I need.
And you, you moved on like nothing happened.
But for some reason, I still love you.
It can't be helped.
My heart is yours forever.

You say you love me, yet you left me.
You say you care, but you wouldn't even call.
Leaving me was right AND wrong??
What does that even mean? I don't understand.
How did I end up here?
Less than a year ago, life was just life.
Then the most amazing thing happened to me.
I was happier than I ever thought possible, all because of you.
But now, now I just wish none of it ever happened.
I wish I had never gotten tangled in this mess.
I would rather have my boring life back than live in this nightmare.
But the funny thing about it is, I still love you.
I don't know how or why, but I do.
You stole my heart and that cant be undone.
When I told you "forever" i meant it and still do.
I love you forever, and I cant help it.
I'm sorry to say, but my heart belongs to you.
Do with it what you want, but it will always be yours.