I can't feel anymore…

Will you stay with me?

I hate me for breathing without you…

I don't want to feel anymore without you.

I don't want to breathe without you.
I don't want to live without you,

I just want to be like you…

Perfect like you…

Exactly what you want me to be so you'll always love me.

I don't want you to ever walk away.

Heartache haunts me everyday…

I believe I'm falling apart without you…

I'm grieving for you…

Because my heart longs for you...

And I'm alone.

I'm still here waiting…

Arms outstretched praying that someday…

You'll love me too.

The people all shuffle in...dressed in black with downcast eyes.
Not a word is spoken...hardly anyone has dry eyes.
She lived a good long life...but still we ask why?
Her husband reaches for my hand...
The pain in his eyes words cannot describe.
Sing for her one more time he says...she always loved to hear.
I look at him silently and shed a single tear.
I'll do my best...to make her proud.
But is she really listening, or is this for the ever growing crowd?
The comfort I offer is really not of much use...
A song with the right words can heal or break a heart...
But what good can I do if it's been broken from the start?
My voice holds no magic...
Just notes and melody.
I cannot heal the pain.
I guess I just hope to help you let go and say goodbye.

So many things seem so crash down around me...
So many dreams never to be fulfilled.
So many promises that never should have been spoken...
My heart...for so many unknown reasons broken.

So close to being happy...
Yet so far from being content.
I have everything I wanted...
But it all means nothing in retrospect.

My dreams are shattered...
They lie bleeding dying on the ground.
As the rain falls...
My tears are crashing without a sound.

I lose my mind screaming...
An unbearable cry from somewhere deep inside..
No one notices...
I hold myself tight, no harm may come.

And the rain pours down...
It tells no one what I've done.
It whispers softly to my broken and beaten soul...
All is not lost, you will one day be whole.

My hot tears burning my face...
The cold rain lashing me with it's cold embrace.
And the lightning flashes across the sky...
My tears keep falling from my eyes...
And as I look down I can see-
My blood, my life leaving me.

And alone in the rain and the wind I breathe my last breath...
And finally---I give in.

Blood pools outside you window...
The deepest cut still wasn't enough...
Rain washes away the dead and dying parts...

Am I whole yet?
-Incomplete still,
Finding myself in your eyes
Left to fend for a myself.
Alone another day.

Someone take me away...
Far running...
Leaving behind what might have been...

Will I find peace here?
Freedom?  Release?
It still feels like being bound in chains...

No release...
-Falling in the dark.
This is not peace.

Can you see me?
Can you feel?
My blood is still falling on your windowsill.

You want me I know...
But for what reasons...
They are secrets untold.
You take my hand and lead me to a place...
So warm and comforting...
I've never seen such beauty and grace...
And just as I was believing it was all true...
A cold wind started blowing...
Tearing straight through me.
What have I lost today?
I do not know.
Once I did...but now I have nothing to show.
I thought there was love
I thought there was peace...
It was all a lie...
You used me.
My soul is bruised...
My heart sprayed in pieces on the floor...
But we both know that the moment you come for me...
I am yours.
I love you...
I hate you...
I need you to be real...
I need you to understand me...
Love me...
Make me real.

Looking back on life I realize I am guilty of so many sins.
My concience I keep close to me to remind me of my misguided attempts at life.
Looking at myself in the mirror is like looking through glass...
Every mistake, every pain, every problem...
It's there staring back.
I try to look away but my haunted eyes catch my gaze...
Clear and blue...too often filled with pain.
Memories flood my mind from yesterday and before...
What have I done...
How much more damage before I can do no more?
The glass grows clearer as time goes on...
Hindsight is 20/20...
But does it get any easier to look at our failure?
And back in the mirror a scared little girl stares back at me...
I don't want to remember her...
I wish she wasn't me.
Too many times she was never good enough...
Too many times her Mommy's love was a little too rough.
Her eyes are pleading...begging for love.
Putting her back in the glass is not easily done.
And the images start to fade...
With my mistakes lingering in my mind like yesterday...
The ironic thing is that glass isn't the only invisible thing in my dream...
I'm invisible too...there is no reflection to haunt me in this mirror of horror...
I am truly alone...
For everyone that never saw me...
For everyone that never knew...
I don't really have any words of wisdom for you...
But your day will come...
We can't always be strong...
The mirror will haunt you too...
Long after I am far gone.

I'm not perfect...I'm sorry
I'm never say the right things at the right time.
Sometimes I cry when things are funny
And I laugh when things are sad.

My heart breaks for stupid reasons...
And sometimes it's too easy to make me mad.
My smile's a little crooked...
My eyes aren't exactly the same...

Perfect is nowhere near my name.
I hurt other people...and I don't even mean to.
It seems like everything I say is supposed to be something...
Funny, ******, mean...
Can't words just be words??

My thoughts can be excentric...
My dreams unobtainable...
I love with all I have
Which is why I have no heart.

I'm not perfect it's far too true...
But I can't help but wonder,
How perfect are you?