As my blood coursed throughout
I was fortified in your love
Rapped your knuckles on my chest
Asking to become a memory

With a three inch incision
I welcome you home
I play with your hair
You hold my viscera

Blood coursed throughout
Staring, entwined, hazel eyes
Evaluating every valve and ventricle
As you're what keeps them beating

You quote me verbatim
Just words you've never heard
What I wrote for myself
Did you read? Did you learn?
Why is what I muse your concern?

I really do hurt myself

nights were long sighs and lonely dreams
sleeping while your shirts on my pillow
and my pillow is in my arms
now its in a cardboard box
detox

now my nights are a real person
and sweat ingrains the sheets
I can feel warmth up against me
I feel her breath
a heartbeat

but I can still feel a pull from a pixelated vision
I dont have to type a word
Just the first letter and I know I'm closer
I get my life back, I feel in control
Gasping at wisps, so plainly absurd

Its gone. I'm not with whom you're really meant to be
Its gone. It's 5 months in a week
Its gone. Whats yours for me that's really left to see?
Its gone. But its really just beginning, so to speak.

I just want to know, I just want to know

why is it that you're the one whos got more hate and resentment for me than I do for you? does that make any sense?

feeling her ego
   bruising
around my neck
maybe there's a face
among our still young
Jackson Pollack loving

"Leo, just because it hurts
does not mean it is poetry."