I lie in bed wide awake
I should be sound asleep
Should of been hours ago
5 am comes so early

I toss
I turn
I meditate
I think of how it will be to sleep

I turn once more
Focus on clearing my mind
Glance at the clock
So comfortable
Oh I think I'm drifting
****, my  mind is no longer clear

Crap now I have to ***

4 am
Snuggle back into bed
So cozy
I start to drift
The alarm goes off

Well that was ******* amazing
Will try again tonight
Wish me luck

I sit here at home wondering how I will make out
About to move in a month
I don't like change

Change is stress
Stress is worry
Worry of the unknown

Will I like it
Where will I put things
Will it feel like home

I'm doing it for the right reasons
So I tell myself
I will have an herb garden
I will be able to feed the birds
All this I love

I love the apt I have
If If If....If only I knew
Change is coming

What a wonderful tree
You give me such peace
I sit under you in my chair and
listen to the birds
chirp, chirp, chirp

The wind lightly moves your
delicate leaves
such a vibrant green

Your branch bends and tickles
me with your leaves as if you
are saying hello

I meditate in your presence
and giggle when you tickle my face
your leaves are so soft

Before I leave  I always rest my hand
on your trunk
the grounding affect is so strong
so much strength you have

Thank you for sharing with me
to have such peace

I met him on facebook
His eyes are what got me
That beautiful smile
A pose that could melt me

He said hello
I said hello back
He said I was beautiful
I said thank you

A week later he said he was falling for me
I said don't fall for me
He said you will fall for me to just wait and see

Two months later and I fell  for him
I told him I loved him
He said I told you you would fall for me

Six month later he said he was going to visit me in time for Christmas
Something came up and he couldn't come
It broke my heart but he said soon

March came and went and still no Jim
He said I'm come just wait for me
I keep waiting

July came and went, and still no Jim
He said stop riding my *** I will get there just wait and see
He said don't give up on me

Two years later and still no Jim
He met some one else but says I'm still number one
He says that he loves me
He says she will be for both of us
How can this be

Another six months and still no Jim
I've talked to the other girl she seems so nice
She loves him deeply and is willing to share

I gave it some thought cause I loved him dear
After all it had been three years

My heart was so broken and my head so ****** up
I actually thought I could share a man I loved so much

One day I woke up
Realized he just wasn't worth all of the pain
I wrote him and email and said my goodbye
He never wrote back
I know my decision was right for me
His lack of response was enough for me

I'm in a transition from being married to single.
Now I am told I have to go out and mingle.

Being an empath this isn't the easiest to do,
when so many emotions are trying to break through.

I get so bombarded from the things that I feel.
It begins to become something unreal.

My head feels like it's going to explode and my tummy flips
as nauseous feelings run through.
What am I to do.

To shield it all out is exhausting to me.
I want to be home.
I head for the door.
The wave of emotion is just so much and the bolting takes over
as the door comes into sight.

I head out the door and the fog starts to lift.
My tummy settles down and nauseousness shifts.
Who would of thought being single could be so much fun!!!
Being an empath I am told is a gift,
maybe one day the fog will lift.

Too feel so much love is to also feel pain.
To keep it all balance can be quite a strain.

Dearest Dad how I love you dear.

You've been gone so long.
I know it was not your choice
you did not wish to go.

The pain you mush had endured
knowing you had to leave your family
behind.
Especially leaving Mom to do so
much on her own.

She did well with a few small
bumps.  She is so strong and shows
so much love.

Many things I have forgotten.
I barely know you at all.
I used to blame you.
I don't any more.
I hope you are at peace.

Spiritdragon

A dog you were not,
a companion and best friend
you will always be.

To spend years with you was a blessing
that I shall never forget.

You were so loyal and so loving.
Your heart was so large.
Loosing you so soon was hard.

I thought I had years left with you
and saying goodbye broke my heart.

I know you will always be with me
and for that I love you more.

You were the best puppy one
could ever ask for.

I love you Teddy Bear

Damaged I am
or so I thought
who would ever want some one like me.

I am damaged
or so I thought
I would live my life alone because I'm not wanted.

I am not needed
or so I thought
I have nothing to give for I have nothing left.

My heart is broken
or so I thought
With too many pieces and not enough glue.

I'd try so hard
or so I thought
But i'd give up instead of buying more glue.

I will never love
or so I thought
It's just too hard, so many pieces and never enough glue.

I only get so close
or so I thought
Til one day I didn't run out of glue.

Every now and then I have to drag out the glue.
I haven't met Mr. Right
but that's ok.

What I found was me
Not the person I thought I knew
I was wrong and I'm not broke.
I am whole, I am loved, I am wanted, I am needed.
I need me, I love me, I want me.
I am worth all the glue

I cleaned your mess up this morning from over the winter.
Swept it all to the ground to help nourish you.
So many seeds you have dropped.
So many leaves you had lost.
I sit upon my lounging chair with coffee in hand.
Its still a bit chilly here so a blanket I wear.

Such a beautiful tree you are.
Strong and healthy.
Leaves starting to come out, I cant wait.

Soon I shall sit here to have my coffee every morning.
To read my book in the afternoon.
To take a long nap.
To meditate.
You are the perfect tree that brings me peace.
Which clears my mind so that I rest.
You have become such a part me.
Thank you my wonderful tree.
A friend you are.

So mote it be.

With elf in heart
and feelings felt
I float across the land
As moon is full
I bid adieu
with heart I over fill
As feelings swell
I bid farewell
to all that is before me
I reach out
to show my love
through no response is needed
Do not fret
for it is not required
Look upon yourself
with all desire
and you shall find me there
For I am one
as so are you
and together we are one
Im your ying
and you my yang
and together we are whole
Reach out
for I think that
the worst is behind us
Beltaine has sprung
and i feel young
to what I see before me
Love me deep
for we no longer sleep
as summer is before us

When you look at that person
and your heart skips a beat

When your talking and that person
finishes your sentence

When you think of your life without
that person and the pain is unbearable

While your sleeping and your hearts beat at the same rhythm

When you wake and there is such joy to start the day

When you find the person that completes you

All is in balance and you live as one

My heart skips a beat

Everyday I dream of Love
A love I will have til the end of time

I have opened my heart to a man I have
yet to meet.  I pray each day that soon
we shall meet.  That our
love will be strong.  That our love
will true.

I picture myself wrapped in his
arms. The touch of his face.  The
feel of his chest.  The taste of his
flesh.

I pray to you Aphroditie, the
Goddess of love

Bring it forth

So mote it be

I scream, but no sound comes out

I cry in silence, waiting for it to end.

I feel nothing.  Dead inside.

He says he loves me.  This is not love.

My own hell.

When will it end.

I curl in a ball. Face wet with tears.

I wake hours later, straighten out and
slowly fall back to sleep as I listen
to his breathing

Should we really let emotions control us.

They flow in and out like the tides.

To understand true emotions you must
let go and let them flow.

The heart know what the heart needs.

Your soul cries out.

Loss Pain Love

Lost myself and now rebirth

Pain  Intense, sharp, so many pieces.
I slowly put it back together and yet
one more falls.  My heart has healed
but not the same.

Love  Love I loss sometime ago.  Did not
think I would make it but here I am

Can you really love again, do I want to?
Is it worth the pain?

This wonderful man, I warned him.
Do not fall for me!!!
He did not listen.

I fought so hard to find myself.  So scared to fall.

Falling hard, falling deep, so deep.  Is it
possible?  Is it real or wishful thinking?

So pure.  So intense.  So wild.  So much
my heart spills over.

Joy, pain,  want and desire.  Is it worth
he risk.  The unknown.  Scared yet
excited.

A man I have yet to meet, to touch,
to hold.

so much need.  So much want with a fear that brings physical pain in
my heart.  A heart i thought was dead.



Now its awake and hungry.  The need for love,
for desire, for fulfulment .

I dream about how it will be, how
it will feel, how he will taste.

This is the path I have chosen or should
I say chose me.  There is no fighting
it.  There just is.

He will complete me and fill me and I
will be whole again for however long.
Only the dogs know and they wont
tell.

Everyone has their idea of the perfect morning

My perfect morning is now
Sitting outside in the sun
Just me and the dog

The birds are singing
The air is sweet with a light breeze

I heard a pileated woodpecker
Watched the grey squirrels,
the blue jays, the black birds,
the crows, etc.
In the background is the baby crow and
baby black birds.

Perfect is it not?

So much harmony

Oh the pull of nature

Words are the emotions to the soul
They cannot be rushed
They must flow from the heart
With each beat more will be said
With each pausing breath more is felt,more is understood
and more is written

Feel from the heart, mind and spirit
With pen in hand,
Let it flow