The world will find you and make you see it
Even when you turn your head away
Scared to see what it may hold
Scared of all the things you do not know
And yet the world turns your head and pushes your eyes open
Not allowing you the sweet surrender of ignorance

You made me love the rain
and then you left me
to walk in it alone.

Your stomach is 10 ft underground and you feel like throwing up
You notice your palms are clammy and a drop of sweat slowly slips down your arm
You’ve already bitten at 8 of your 10 nails that you were immensely proud of growing out
And three of your fingertips have dried blood following the curvature of your fingers
You start tapping your feet, tapping your hands in an effort to remain calm
Waiting for the answer you slowly unravel and lose the twine

He wasn't used to this type of person
She was ****** and unamused
Always catching him at his lowest to bring him high again
Throughout it all he knew
He would fall in love but he couldn't keep her

Insincere apologies
Halfhearted I love you's
What has happened to us?
Who knew this love would die out so quickly
Without our permission we withdrew from that love

So quickly fall turned to winter
And spring to summer
It all happened so quickly
How could a year pass?
A year and you still reign in my mind, relentless

When I leave you
And when you leave me
We say our goodbyes
Except there's still that one thing poking through my head
That I know I can't let go
Not just yet
Just before you turn away
I feel myself want to say
"I love you"
Yet I know we're not ready
But it's also something I need to say

Life is about the edges
Where something stops
And another begins
Sharp or rounded they'll teach you
Many lessons
They may bruise you but
Never let them break you
You are stronger than those edges
Round or sharp
Doesn't matter
They can't keep you from breathing
From your heart beating alone in the silence
From your mind pricking at the edges
Just to see

Break your back
Rip apart your ribs
Scream until you cough blood
What are you looking for?
Maybe that one thing
You can call your own
You may never find it
But keep searching for
Your heart
It might be in there somewhere

The first cut shallow and pained
Slicing the skin on my wrist in two
Deep red emerges in a thin line
The next cut, deeper with more emotion
The tears that started two hours before
Continue to ebb and flow
Leaving tracks of mascara smearing as I wipe the stain away
The next cut breaks deeper
The skin on my back and arms raise as gooseflesh
Maybe a moan maybe a cry seeps from my teeth
A hot trickle of blood rains from the cut
Pouring down into the empty hole of the sink
A sting of water wakes me from the trance as I stare at the razor which blemished my skin

I keep telling myself, one more, one more, one more...
And walking away from the bathroom and the blood
To find myself wandering in again to clutch the razor and bring it to my skin

Breathing hot air on my skin
Sweat droplets race
Tangling legs splay across the white sheets
Searching hands grab for a hold
Nails sink into raised skin
Keeping your attention on where it needs to be
Eyelids flutter with in the intensity of a fleeting moment
Blushed faces and chests rising and falling chaotically

Body weight looming over me
Your eyes searching mine
And I know you burn for me

After the love  
I held with different hands
Kissed with unknown lips
I tasted the difference on my tongue
Disgustingly sweet torture I endured for you

Being with you is like
Chasing tornados
It's a miracle when I find you
The chase is the exciting part
I get too close and you pull me in
But it's when you've caught me
I truly realize the mistake I've made

Most things take time
Trust
Love
But not affection
You can build trust and with trust follows love
Affection is wild and crazy not following anything
Just burning hot and never taking the time to ask why

Maybe you could call me pretty
And I could fall in love with the way you say my name
You could get lost in my eyes and the feeling of my hands in your hair
But we know this will all end soon
I won't get back to you
And you will find someone new to spend time on
This could be how it works
Or we could change it forever

When you break something
You shut down
Your body just doesn't know what to do
Or how to fix it

Life's got me
No time to write
No time to think
So here I am begging to breathe
Taking a moment just for you
And me

The color of the sky at 6:22 am
Reminds me of drowning
In the depths of your eyes
While reviving at the sound of your voice

Heart beating in my chest
I look at you
You aren't looking at me
You're looking at what I am
What I could give you
Your eyes may be distant and cold
But I can get you to warm up
One day

I love it out here
In the middle of grasslands and
Old houses built on farms
The sky's the limit out here
The air is pure and just right
Giving me crazy ideas about flying and living too
Everything is clear
You may pass 2 cars on the way into town
Dilapidated houses and barns
Scattered all about
They may not be habitable
But they still look homely to me
I'd take this over the smog
And smoke of the cities
That make you choke
Over the people tons and thousands of them
That riddle you with claustrophobia And pretenses with hidden intentions
I'd take the quiet loneliness over the inability to sleep due to noise inflictions
Every. Single. Day. I would choose this breathtaking place

When I feel hopeless I look at you.
You break the void I create everyday.

Keep me safe, here, in your arms
Kiss my head and hold me tight.

The blood in my veins feels hot.
My heart beat drowns out everything but the image of your face.

I accept you for who you are and
I need you for the sake of sanity.

It happened all at once
Just like a sun rise;
It was dark then suddenly light filled the void
You left me with

Catch me in your arms
When I stumble and fall
I need your safe arms
Wrapped around me
But don't let me go
You can't because if you do
I could break into millions of shards
You keep me together
Just don't leave

You shock me
With your caring demeanor
That no one has any more
You clear everything
In my eyes when I look at you
The fog goes away and I rememeber
Everything I need too when I'm with you
You take everything
That doesn't make sense
So you can figure it out and share
To make sure I know it too
Your crazy vocabulary
Is what I live for
You and I
We need each other
More than anyone realizes

I already gave up on you
I can't betrey myself enough to look at your face
You didn't want me
But I gave you my all
In hopes of acceptance not rejection
You made everything real and alive
Now the world seems bland and dead
Just like the love I've finally
Washed off my skin

Your eyes hold continents
Bold and bursting with life
Holding promises
Just for me

If only you loved me for who I am
If only you needed me for how I make you happy and comfortable
If only you wanted me for me
If only I had you as mine
If only life was fair to me and you
If only I could hold your hand
If only you wanted to hold mine too

You should probably break my heart
So I know what it feels like
Maybe I'll be prepared for the day that it shatters
I deserve the pain
For all the pain I've given others
I guess I forgot I had a heart
For awhile anyway
But I found it
In the process hurting two
I do deserve whatever comes my way
Especially the cold from you
And my feelings that rush in toward
My chest
That I need to expend

If you want to go somewhere
I want to take you there
I want to be the one
To hold your hand
As we run
Not with a loaded gun
But with a silver tongue
A crisp walk and a happy life
To go with everything you may
Have lost along the way

So many beautiful stars in the sky tonight
But none of them mean a **** thing
Cause you aren't here with me

Can you see the music moving in your mind
Can you feel it tremble in your veins
Bumping around
Giving rough edges
To cut your ears on
No pain
A sensation that is overwhelming
Courses through your soul
Ending up flipping in your heart
Settling and leaving hopeful traces
For you to follow and feel
The need
For something more

I'm breaking down
Just to lift you up
Up above the clouds
That drown you out
I just wish you would see
That you do need me
So when I leave
Your life may fall apart
But I'm not looking back
Not now
Not ever
Take my stuff
And all our memories
Throw them away
And burn them up

You had a chokehold around your own neck
And you weren't letting go

I just want you to know that
I mean what I say
When I say that
I'm hurting
I don't want your attention
Or your fake empathy
I just want someone to care
Like you used to
Someone just needs to know
That I'm in pain
24/7 and it gets worse
When I'm around you

I wear concealer to hide the dark bags under my eyes
To make them seem less dangerous
To hide the imperfections I find in myself
The flaws I want to break
There's more to it than beauty

We treat this school like a playground
Because the teachers treat us like ignorant children
We try to run away
But get caught every time
It gets boring and difficult
I feel as if I am an elementary student
The only difference is
We don't have nap time

I see you walking toward me
As I'm walking toward you
You lift your head a little higher
When you notice me
10 feet
I wriggle in my skin
5 feet
As you dip your head in my direction
2 feet
And ask how I'm doing
I stutter step to the beat of my heart
And tell you I'm good
We are passed one another now
And I can't help but look back
At the first, but could be only, time
I've ever seen you
I wonder if I'll meet you again one day
And I realize how hot my cheeks are

Humans are such dangerous but
Fragile creatures
There's an easier way of doing everything
But we always choose the hard way
I guess I'm trying to say
I chose you
You were my hard way
I didn't make it out alive
You took all I could give
I know you won't give any back
Bad or good choice
I don't know
I won't know until I'm on my death bed
Breathing my final words
You will never know
Poor destructive humans

You break me like a toothpick
And hide all your insecurities away
But I can see them
When your eyes water
And teeth chatter from the cold
You control everything
Including me
But what you don't know
Is I wish you could just see me
As a person
And stop compartmentalizing

I was willing to do anything for you
I wanted to love you more than
The moon loves the sun
I would've broke my heart a thousand times just to see you smile
I could've held your hand forever
I was meant for you
But you
Weren't meant for me
You wouldn't let yourself
Fall again
While I was throwing myself off cliffs for you

I need something to replace this
Empty feeling inside
I tried to pull you in
To keep you right here beside me
Where you could find my weakness
And I could find yours
You didn't care to
And your weakness was too easy
So now here I sit
Completely empty
And close to falling off the
Edge
Of this torment we call life

Open up my head and pour out the contents
Rearrange me
Fix me
Drag out the madness  
With a clear shot
I hope you take it
I'm tired of the madness

You have no idea
What I'm going through
To get you off my mind
And out of all my thoughts

You used me and you know it
What are you doing about it
Ignoring me
The only person who's tried to care about you in some time
You muffle what I say
So you don't have to feel guilty anymore
I silently hope you still do

I'm tired of living again
Don't want to get out of bed
Don't want to move
It's not lazy
its having no will to live